Deadpool/Wolverine - July 24

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about the ‘Deadpool 3’ film instead – spoilers alert ahead!

…As it was written before, this is a redemption story, and hence a monotheistic, rather than a polytheistic one. Both of the titular characters of the film are down on their luck and are not handling it too well, so enter the TVA to shake the situation for them up even more. The TVA is also supposed to tie them into the MCU multiverse, but as the events of ‘Loki’ S2 showed, MCU has largely shoved the TVA itself to the sidelines, so this aspect of the movie is kin of doubtful – even for the movie.

No, seriously, the main element of ‘Deadpool & Wolverine’ are the titular characters, as they get their bearings in gear, (or whatever the phrase is), and have to defeat both Dr. Cassandra Nova, and deal with the TVA, which still has its’ own problems, reminiscent of ‘Loki’ S2 once more. The TVA, however, quickly becomes sidelined (until the end of the film, and even then it is not too important any longer), and we are left with an X-Rated MCU mutant movie instead.

The plot is straightforward: Wade needs to save his world by fixing the whatever problems his world’s Wolverine has made. Logan – from this universe – also needs to save his problems, and save their world in the process of doing so. Logan, however, has lost his mojo, and Wade is trying – in several meanings of the word – to help Logan recover it. Pause.

The fact that both of those characters have very tangled timelines from the RL perspective does not help. Therefore, D&W has relocated itself largely to the Void from ‘Loki’, (introduced in S1), where they encounter various mutants and several other characters, both from MCU and otherwise. Mind, that the movie’s plot is a straight-out redemption story, seen through an equally straight-out RPG plotline, where the titular characters have to defeat tougher and tougher opponents until the final boss – Dr. Cassandra Nova in this case. Moreover, since the end of Phase 3, MCU did not really go for in-depth, rounded villains, (the situation with Kang and his actor had not helped things either), and so, Dr. Nova is rather forgettable, as is Paradox, (who gets arrested in the film’s end too, as part of TVA’s cleaning up its’ house at the end of ‘Loki’ S2. Isn’t interconnectivity clever, cough?). What next?

The movie is carried by emotions rather than logic, and by visuals rather than anything too in-depth – R-rated or not, D&W is still a Marvel comic film, and as such the next ‘Gawain and the Green Knight’ movie it is not. Thank goodness for that, too. What else?

Ah yes, the extra mutant variants of the films. Guess MCU has not yet given up on the Multiverse concept, and RR is doing a better job in fixing it than the Rock did with DCEU… before it ended. In addition, Wade broke up with Vanessa (at the beginning of the film)? Seriously? After the emotional wrangler, that was their second film? Well, weirder things have happened…  The point is that D&W film has delivered a good story, and it is good, even if it isn’t seminal, semiotic, or anything else high-brow. It has not recharged me per se, but it did bring something of a smile to my face after all.

This is it for now. See you all soon!

FH: Sohei - July 24

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, but at least there is entertainment, on the other hand.

First, there is the ‘Despicable Me 4’ film. It… is not bad, but it is still apocrypha: see, the first three films were about Gru changing from an anti-social villain into a more social anti-hero. Then there were the Minions’ movies, which acted as something like a prequel to those first three films, explaining the Minions’ general history and their shared history with Gru. Now, the DM4 film seeks to reset the timeline, by introducing Gru’s new son, by introducing Gru’s history with him, and by rebooting the Minions and their new employers, (cough). It is not a bad strategy, just a weird one, and given that the DM4 is a less than a successful film, (by the critics’ standards, anyhow), I guess we know as to which side the coin has landed.

Second, there is, well, the second season of Hulu’s ‘Hit-Monkey’ series. It is based on a Marvel comic line, but it is not a part of MCU, which might be why such sites as the Marvel comic database are downplaying it in favor of the D3 film, which we will discuss at another time. ‘Hit-Monkey’ S2, meanwhile, might not be something epic, but it is still worthwhile to watch, you know?

Finally, we come to FH (‘For Honor’) newest hero, the Sohei. In RL, they were warrior monks of the Buddhist variety, so GM has never utilized them in his ASOIAF, at least not in the canon, or even the GoT, versions. FH, again, created something, or someone else entirely, armed with seven different weapons of all things, and the primary one appears to be some sort of a glaive – aka a variant lance. Again, FH’s PC has little in common with their RL counterpart other than their name, but that is par for the FH’s course. Pause.

Now, here is probably when you expect me to rant about something or other, but the truth is I have no energy to do so, no motivation. I watched recently a YouTube personality rant about the Megalodon of all things, how is has most definitely not surprised. Now, I agree – the Megalodon has died out, if only quite recently, but ranting about this fact? It will not affect anything at all, by now there are two Megalodon, in a manner of speaking – the RL fish that died out, and the imaginary sea monster that continues to exist, and the two entities are both separate and combined at the same time… The point here is that ranting about things is never helpful; fun, but never helpful, and besides, I just do not have the energy, given how things are going on in my RL: yes, Marvel’s treatment of its’ not-MCU-properties is bad, and FH is something else, but it does not matter – things will change soon… or they will not.

For now, though, this is it. See you all soon.

Jaws vs. Meg 2023 - June 18

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us have a flashback to the Shark Week 2023 instead. Now, there has been some consideration about the new SW: Acolyte series, but at the end of the day? It does not deserve the hate that it is getting… or does it?

From my point of view, the people who hate ‘Acolyte’ are the same people who hated the SW Sequel Trilogy, aka films 7-9, and who were handled by Disney/SW… however they were handled. Regardless, they weren’t vanquished; already by the time of the ‘Mandalorian’ S3, when Disney/SW were beginning to bring, well, the SW universe from the 6^th movie’s setting to the 7^th, the old criticisms were coming back. They stopped when the ‘Mandalorian’ ended, but apparently did not go away, as they resurfaced once more when the ‘Acolyte’ came out. Now what?

So far, Disney/SW franchise is not backing down from the TV show the same way they did with the 8^th and 9^th films. Back then, they fluctuated between total support and full reboot, and the result was a big setback, much bigger than any other Disney branches had to deal with. Since then, Disney/SW tried to retcon and circumvent its’ rebooted/redesigned universe, but with more mixed success than they would like, and ‘Acolyte’ is part of this mixed bag. What will Disney/SW do next, now that the ‘Acolyte’ is not being as successful/accepted as they expected it to be? It is anyone’s guess, of course, but hopefully they will be more consistent with their response than how they acted during the SW Sequel movie trilogy… Back into the real world?

No, ‘cause the reason I’m writing this entry is because I got to see the Shark Week special ‘Jaws vs. Meg’. In this special feature, people made a CGI battle between the great white shark and the Megalodon, with the latter winning, because of course it did. Pause.

Here is the thing. The reason as to why I was watching the special in the first place was because of nostalgia for AFO (Animal Face-off), as well as JFC (Jurassic Fight Club) and DW (Deadliest Warrior). In the first show, episodes ended with two RL CGI animals faced-off, in the second – we had prehistoric animals, and in the third, we had a live-action re-enactment of a quasi-historical battle – say, a Spartan vs. a ninja, or a Viking vs. a samurai. Here, in ‘Jaws vs. Meg’, we also have a CGI battle, both of a modern and of a prehistoric animals, well – fish. What next?

Well, for one thing, there was no doubt that this was the fight for the great white shark to lose. In nature, especially among the vertebrates, (the invertebrates are another story, admittedly – just watch Monster Bug Wars), size matters, and bigger and stronger beings triumph over their physical inferiors. Lions dominate over leopards, leopards – over cheetahs, wolves – over coyotes, coyotes – over foxes, and so on. The bigger and stronger Megalodon would dominate the great white shark during the time the two species coexisted, simply because while the great white shark could hurt it, the Megalodon could kill it far too easier than vice versa – as the special feature’s CGI confirmed. The Megalodon was able to take the punishment that the great white shark threw at it, and kill the latter with a single lucky strike. Overdramatized, maybe, but regardless, this would how it happen… what else?

Co-existing with the Megalodon caused the great white shark to become a specialist – it specializes it hunting seals, fur seals and sea lions, mostly in tropical and subtropical waters. It is more modernized than the Megalodon was, but it still prefers warm and tropical waters than temperate and colder ones. These days, with the global warming (or whatever it is called), the shark is moving north (and south?), including the shores of Eastern U.S. and Canada. What will come out of this, is yet unknown.

Back in the past, the great white shark had to stay closer to the shoreline, because in the open ocean the adult Megalodon lived and dominated – other sharks. However, there were also the cetaceans…

The cetaceans’ overall evolutionary history still hasn’t been completely resolved, but what matters here and now, is that during the Miocene and Pliocene, the baleen whales were smaller than their modern counterparts are, and more vulnerable to attack from such as carnivores as the Megalodon and the predatory prehistoric sperm whale cousins, (including the Livyatan). Just as the great white shark specialized in the pinnipeds – seals and their cousins that usually stay closer to the coast than in the open seas, so did the Megalodon specialize in the cetaceans, which preferred the open seas to the coastlines instead. The two species co-existed by specializing in different directions, and the Megalodon’s closer cousins, the mako sharks, specialized in yet a third – they aren’t as massive as the great white shark, but are faster and more maneuverable than it is. If the great white shark is a lion of the seas, then the mako sharks are the cheetahs instead. They would not outfight the Megalodon (or most other prehistoric predators), but outpace and outmaneuver them instead. The killer whales, for example, are known to attack great white sharks – successfully, too – but the mako sharks? Not so much. However, where do they fit in?

The main reason as to why the Megalodon is not around anymore, no matter what fan favorite theories proclaim. During the end of the Miocene and the first half of the Pliocene, the two Americas formed a single continent finally, and the world began to enter an Ice Age. The Megalodon (and many of its’ prey species) couldn’t handle the climate change and died out; also, in the Megalodon’s case, the disappearance of the warm shallow seas between the two American continents left its’ young vulnerable – well, more vulnerable, to predation from smaller sharks, including the great white and the hammerhead species. Megalodon vanished during the Pliocene and Pleistocene periods, and the smaller sharks flourished.

The same situation goes for the whales: the modern whales are giants, true, but they are specialists as well. The baleen whales feed on plankton, and many of their species spend their lives migrating between the two poles, following the seasons and the currents, to keep themselves fed, (and the global warming is throwing a wrench into this), while the biggest toothed whale, the sperm whale, is a deep sea hunter, feeding mostly on the big, giant, and colossal deep sea squid species. Its’ closest relatives, the two Kogia whales, are tiny by comparison, and little is known about them, so let us put them aside for the moment. The point here is that the time of easy living in the ocean has ended for now even before the humans evolved on planet Earth; compared to the Miocene, when the global oceans were full of small and medium-sized baleen whales, the modern ocean has only big baleen whales, or giant ones. Megalodon would be outmuscled in the modern ocean – but the great white shark would have nothing to do with that… Anything else?

The CGI battle of ‘Jaws vs. Meg’ could have used some tweaking and twerking, but this is splitting hairs; the point here is that it was an enjoyable TV program, while the ‘Acolyte’, for example, is much more forgettable.

Therefore, we will end the discussion for now - This is it. See you all soon!

Venom 3 trailer - June 4

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. In particular, I really hate my family sometimes… and this is all I want to say about it, because this post is not about their character assassinations, but rather about ‘Venom’.

Well, the trailer for the third, and final, ‘Venom’ film, coming in October 2024, most likely. It is a chaotic mess, but in a good way.

First, Tom Hardy is stealing the show, because of course he does. He has been carrying the ‘Venom’ films from the start, and so hooray! He makes the ‘Venom’ franchise great, but that said…

The first ‘Venom’ film was unimportant… but it was original, and already separate/distinct from MCU. Yes, it was rather underwhelming, as the main villain of the film was a discount Carnage, but never fear – the second film flat-out featured Carnage, with Venom’s character and character history being reset. In addition, Anne Weying, or whatever her last name is, starring as the She-Venom. Right now, she is notably absent from the last movie’s promo; it is almost all about Eddie and Venom on one hand, and the alien symbiotes coming to Earth. Wait, doesn’t this sound familiar?

Of course, it is – this was the plot of the first ‘Venom’ film, where Venom, as well as several other symbiotes, came to Earth. Aside from Venom and Riot, they did not make it, but also they came to Earth as a scouting party of sorts. Riot tried to return to their home planet, but Venom stopped it, saving Earth from the alien invasion because Venom’s race is not really friendly towards others, as Carnage and particularly Riot demonstrated. However, the first ‘Venom’ film also featured a Dr. Dora Skirth, a female scientist ally of Eddie, who had a forced bonding attempt with a yellow-colored symbiote, and both died, abruptly. The trailer for the third ‘Venom’ film also features a female scientist, who might bond with a yellow-colored symbiote… or she might not. She is also an ally of a military commander who might be baron Mordo in disguise… or he might not be. Anything else?

Well, the Lizard, (last seen in ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’), aka Curt Connors, might be in the movie as well, at least as a cameo. Since ‘Morbius’ showed that Sony is quietly shifting MCU’s Spider-Man characters over to its’ own universe, this is quite a possibility, especially since we saw a shot of a lizard (namely a little reptile without any augmentations), in the trailer too. However, ‘Morbius’ is nowhere as successful as the ‘Venom’ films are, so it is questionable, if the Lizard and co. are appearing; the ‘Kraven’ might need to succeed first in order for this to happen, perhaps.

That said, so far the most confusing issue here is Ms. Chin and the absence of Anne. Yes, this movie seems to be mostly about Eddie and Venom’s bromance, but still? Why are this duo dancing with Ms. Chin of all people? So far, she was only a supporting character, nothing more, is she going to be more important in the third movie, or is it more of the Spider-verse shenanigans? In the second Miles film, Ms. Chin did have a cameo, showing that Venom’s universe is a part of the greater Spider-verse somehow, so who knows…

That said, keep in mind that Sony’s movies are a mixed bag, but they work best when they do more original material than just simple follow the lines hero’s journey or things like that, and both of the previous ‘Venom’ movies proved this point; the trailer for the third film – ditto. Therefore, I, for one, am excited for it to come out (in movie theaters only, apparently), in autumn 2024.

For now, however, this is it. See you all soon!

X-Men '97 - season finale

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about X-Men ’97 season finale. It… is not much of an improvement, unfortunately.

What has become one of X-Men ’97 traits? A lack of personal stakes for the main cast: here, for example, Rogue, Roberto (Sunspot) and Magneto seceded from the X-Men, and several of the latter went to rope them in. It was a mixed success, until professor X interfered personally and… healed Magneto, making him a ‘white hat’ once more, with Rogue and Roberto following suit. Seriously, drama does sell, but it has to be convincing, and the stakes covered by it have to matter. Otherwise, it just chews up the scenery and time. (The lack of chemistry between Roberto and Jubilee most of the time is not even worth mentioning anymore).

As for the other villains… Bastion came up only in the last few episodes of the season, and so we never formed an attachment to him, had an investment with him. He died – and good riddance. Mr. Sinister has been ‘only’ depowered, so he’ll be back once more in the future seasons, (if there are any)… Oh, and JG briefly pokevolved into the Phoenix.

Right, here is the thing. In the canon, including the original X-Men cartoon, the Phoenix was an external force, a semi-incorporeal, albeit a very powerful entity, that needed a corporeal host to manifest itself to the max. Jean Grey is the best-known example, of course, but there were, and are, others who also were, or are, the Phoenix. In the original cartoon, the Phoenix in JG was defeated, eventually, so how JG was able to tap into it is unknown. Maybe we will learn in the future seasons, (if there are any); the question as to why JG want to bring back the Phoenix, (their relationship was ambiguous, to say the least) is a different matter… Anything else?

Ah, yes, the season ends with the X-Men being scattered through time, and we get to see some of the future seasons’ villains, including some sort of a version of Apocalypse. Given how in the ‘Beyond Good and Evil’ story arc of the original series Apocalypse was banished outside time and space, guess who’s coming back, eh?

Otherwise, the X-Men ’97 11^th season was good enough; better than ZS’s ‘Rebel Moon’ movies, for example. The new/old/rebooted X-Men do not shine, but neither do they dim; they deliver; delivered; will deliver some good old-fashioned entertainment, and that is good enough for their viewers. Oh, and Senator Kelly is now president of the U.S. Of course he is.

…However, for now, this is it. See you all soon.

X-Men '97 - Extinction II

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. The RPG 2^nd Edition Pathfinder, in particular, seems to have gone marasmatic: they try to come across fast and lose, yet at the same time they try to micromanage everything. Look at the latest adventure path, one that is set in the Mosswood (or whatever it is called, it does not matter here). In the player’s guide to the path, the Pathfinder team is bombasting the readers’/players’ with oodles of suggestions and references yet all the while telling them it does not matter; they can be whomever they like. Fair enough, but… in this case either the readers/players really can be whomever they like, in which case all of the information in the guide is superficial and unnecessary, or this information is mandatory, in which case the players have to choose out of the options presented by the guide, and their personal desires are irrelevant. Pause.

Aside from the fact that both options are equally bad and annoying, there’s also the fact that team Pathfinder and the DMs don’t really have ways to enforce it, if the players will disregard the Pathfinder options, (remember, they’re supposed to be suggestions), and go with the flow. Not to mention that the DMs usually do not want to fight with their players, because often the latter are their friends too, on one hand, and on the other, RPGs are a luxury item, they aren’t needed, they cater to whims, and if they don’t, people will find other options (such as D&D) that do. Onto X-Men ’97, then?

Yes, pretty much. Not unlike the RPGs, this cartoon series is also a luxury item, it is trying to tickle the audience’s fancy with a lot of Easter eggs and references, and when they stop, we are left with something else.

For example, Magneto – in this episode – restarts the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, taking Rogue with him, as well as Roberto. Well, Magneto and Rogue’s relationship aside, firstly, Magneto actually saved the day – or at least helped a lot – in the first part of the season’s finale, so is he really evil anymore, or did the scriptwriters want to write yet another Magneto vs. Professor X fight? (The two of them did fight here, sort of). On the other hand, since Roberto is with Magneto now… err, with the Brotherhood now, Jubilee seems to be actually missing him… why? Throughout the season, Roberto was essentially a prop; his chemistry with Jubilee was nonexistent, and so was his role on the show, and now that he is with Magneto and Rogue, Jubilee actually begins to miss him? Can we say – ‘forced relationship’? And In the past, it looked as if the relationships on AoS were contrived. Anything else?

The bulk of ‘Extinction 2’ episode was about fights, with little being done, to be frank. The non-relationship between Jubilee and Roberto feels forced, and so’s the conflict between most of the X-Men and Magneto, Rogue and Roberto. This entire specific episode feels like filler, albeit an exciting one, so odds are is that it is. In fact, as it was said before, the entire X-Men ’97 now feels like a luxury product that is getting a bit desperate for whatever reasons. Ah well, it is no skin off our back.

…Meanwhile, for now, this is it. See you all soon!

X-Men/Mufasa - May 1

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Now onto the home stretch of the X-Men ’97 season?

…Well, rather not, because by now we got the gist of the conflict in this season: it is the X-Men and most other mutants against yet another sentinel version – the Prime Sentinels. As far as Sentinels go, they are the X-Men version of the Mindless Ones, complete with glowing eyes. They can hardly be stopped, they can barely be reasoned with, they are yet another incarnation of the ‘evil mob’ kind of foe, and as such they cannot be sympathized, not really – and (the now dead) Gyrich is behind them. Of course he is. He is the mastermind behind the mob, (not to be confused with the actual X-Men character named the Mastermind). It was said before and it is said now, the X-Men ’97 franchise is going around in a circle like a snake in a wheel and going nowhere.

…Ok, this was uncalled for – with Magneto’s help the Prime Sentinels are defeated, but since the season’s finale is a 3-parter, and this was only the first part, so more excitement is ahead, really. Hell, even Jubilee and Roberto will be given something to do! Back in the 90s, Jubilee was all but written out of the main narrative, because it was no longer obvious what she was needed for in a show with a big cast, and the same is happening now, her and Roberto’s adventure in Mojo-land notwithstanding. This time she and Roberto are being dragged along for the ride like a couple of accessories to the main suit, and-

-and yes, Jubilee may grow up into a formidable warrior if she doesn’t die, and Morph is used as a prop to showcase various other Marvel mutant characters without them being actually around, and professor X is back, and everyone is excited, and the audiences are eating the show up, and there’s no specific background, unlike what is shaping up in the ‘Deadpool 3’ movie, and we’ve been here before, remember? Therefore, instead of beating up a (existential status undetermined) Deadpool, let us briefly talk about the upcoming ‘Mufasa’ film.

This is a spin-off of the ‘Lion King’ films, focusing on the childhood of Simba’s father instead. In this trailer, we see that 1) the (spotted) hyenas might be present, but they are playing a smaller role than they did in the original movie (both incarnations), which is good, because they need more good PR (the hyenas do). 2) Is that Mufasa’s brother Scar is not very prominent in the trailer either, but there are scenes of two lions of different ages fighting each other. In one scene, the background is on fire, and we get a glimpse of a small creature attacking the (enemy?) lion – perhaps it is Timon, who, alongside Pumba, is also supposed to be appear in the film. In the second fight, the background is icy, so either we are going to have a flashback into the past, into lives of cave lions instead, or Mufasa is going to get onto the Mt. Kilimanjaro or somewhere similar.

…The geography in the ‘Lion King’ franchise is just as bad as zoology is – in RL Africa has deserts at the ends, the jungle in the middle, and the savanna in-between, broadly speaking. In the world of Mufasa, Scar and Simba, we get the desert between the savanna and the jungle instead, therefore, an ice and snow covered mountain could fit quite well into this ensemble.

3) – in another scene, we have a lion cub, or cubs, having a misadventure with at least one Nile crocodile. In RL, this reptile is the only challenger to the saltwater crocodile in size and strength; the royal lion can defeat it, however – on land, and preferably in a pride. One on one, and especially in the water, the Nile crocodile has the upper hand, however. Since Mufasa (and his companions) are just cubs, they are in big trouble.

Finally, 4) – Rafiki. He is a mandrill, and this monkey, as well as its’ only true relative the drill, are not baboons, nor are particularly close cousins to them; rather, their closest relatives are the crested mangabeys, a group of guenon-like monkeys that don’t look anything like the drill/mandrill duo, as the latter look much more like the baboons and the geladas instead. Moreover, unlike the latter, the drill and the mandrill live in the African jungle, and as such, they appeared in Disney’s animated Tarzan-verse, and avoid the savannahs instead. Disney is certainly playing fast and loose with Africa in the ‘Lion King’ franchise; it will certainly be interesting to see how the movie will come out in winter of 2024.

For now, however, this is it. See you all soon!