Friday, 27 March 2020

Quarantine entry #6 - March 27


Obligatory disclaimer: real life continues to suck as more and more people are getting sick each day. Seriously, this is getting truly intolerable even by my standards, so this time, instead of watching JFC, I went back to DW. For a change, I watched a modern face-off – the ‘IRA vs. Taliban’ episode, and-?

And ever since I have watched it for the first time, I am being constantly struck by how openly prejudiced DW hosts had been on that episode. More specifically, this episode matched the Taliban’s trophy AK-47 vs. the IRA’s AR-15, and the show’s hosts twisted themselves into some amazing knots to justify giving the edge to the IRA’s AR-15. Why? Because on the earlier S1 episode, the Russian Spetsnaz actually took down USA’s Green Berets, fair and square, and the show clearly hadn’t recovered from this – ever. True, they tried to keep their future pro-American bias subtle in S2, but in S3? It came to the fore, and as I have written a long time ago, (when the DW S3 episodes were aired in real life and we were discussing each one individually, as each one was ‘piping hot’, pardon the clumsy pun), it was one of the reasons as to why DW went down for good after the S3. USA isn’t RF, (and even so, the Russians are becoming clearly against Vladimir Putin ruling them until 2036 unopposed, good for them), and for them such blatant propaganda, pro-US or not, was too much. …And yes, there were other reasons as to why DW was cancelled, but still…

…But why was I watching DW to begin with? Somehow, JFC became even more intolerable than when I saw it last, and so instead of it, I watched something else – DW ‘IRA vs. Taliban’ as I said earlier, as well as Impossible Pictures’ ‘Chased by Dinosaurs: The Giant Claw’ episode, and – ‘Mulan-1998’.

What can I say? Ming-Na Wen was already awesome as a voice actress, (and these days she is an actress-actress, staring as Melinda May in AoS, though at the end of S6 finale she got temporarily killed-off or at least – incapacitated). That said, the Shan-Yu and his horde were some of the least impressive villains of animated Disney. Why? In the movie, none of the Shan-Yu’s lieutenants really had names; yes, the various Wikis who specialise in this sort of thing, have their names, but the movie never acknowledges this. Harsh!

Moreover, the Shan-Yu himself… It seems that he had invaded China because he decided that the Great Wall of China is an insult to his manhood or something. Seriously? What is this? A reality show, ancient Chinese version? The Shan-Yu and his horde serve no other function than to be the distraction; the real adversary, of course, were the gender roles and norms in the society, and Fa Mulan proved that a woman could do a man’s job easily, etc. etc. How very 20th century of her! (‘Mulan’ was released in 1998, remember? Technically, it was the 20th century still, rather than the 21st). It will be interesting to see how ‘Mulan-2020’ stacks up against this film.

…Yes, it was evident – Hell, Disney outright told its’ viewers that this was going to be more along the lines of the new ‘Dumbo’ film than TLK-2019 or the rebooted L&T. Fair enough, and hopefully the new villain, Borikhan or whatever his name is, will have a better motivation than his 1998’s counterpart did, but for now, it is too early to make premonitions – or too late, but in any case, thanks to COVID-19, now isn’t the right time. Moreover, what about ‘The Giant Claw’?

Not unlike JFC, this was a mix of education and entertainment, but more honest – it involved Nigel Marvin travelling through time – literally – to the Late Cretaceous Mongolia, 70 MYA, or so, in search of the titular creature. Spoiler warning – it was Therezinosaurus, one of the biggest purely herbivorous theropods, whose cousin the Nothronychus was mentioned earlier, when we were discussing Tyrannosaurus Rex.

And where was this dinosaur in ‘The Giant Claw’? Why, nowhere at all – it had not evolved in Late Cretaceous North America yet. Instead, this 30 minute special featured its’ cousin, Tarbosaurus bataar.

…Ever since this dinosaur was discovered, there was plenty of discussion, as to how it was related to Tyrannosaurus. These days the scientific community believes that while the two species were cousins, Tarbosaurus was more distantly related to Tyrannosaurus than some other North American tyrannosaurid species, such as Albertosaurus, Daspletosaurus and Gorgosaurus; Tarbosaurus’ bones, especially in its’ skull, prove that. That is fair, but ecologically wise, Tyrannosaurus and Tarbosaurus played the same role – that of an alpha predator; not even Velociraptors stood up to the Tarbosaurus.

What about the Velociraptors? They were depicted in ‘The Giant Claw’ as well, but they were much smaller and proportionally more realistic than they are in the ‘Jurassic Park’ franchise – turkey-sized predators, rather like modern coyotes with an attitude. They were shown hunting other smaller dinosaurs – the herbivorous Protoceratops, which about the size of a modern sheep, but had attitude of their own, and a powerful beak to back it up. (Something of the Protoceratops-Velociraptor interaction was shown in ‘The Giant Claw’, FYI).  Put otherwise, all of the Impossible Pictures’ series did their best to educate, or at least to inform, rather than to entertain – and did a much better job than the JFC did, in my frank opinion.

By the way, JFC did not have Velociraptors to begin with – instead, it had three of their cousins: the Deinonychus, the Utahraptor, and the Dromaeosaurus. The first two were bigger than the Velociraptor was; alongside the lesser-known Dakotaraptor, they were the biggest members in their family, comparable in size to their fictional counterparts from the ‘Jurassic Park’ franchise. By contrast, the Dromaeosaurus was the Velociraptor’s counterpart in the Late Cretaceous North America, but as I said earlier, it was not the contemporary of the T-Rex, so here the JFC lied…but we talked about it last time, so let us drop it.

Anything else? COVID-19 continues to march across the face of the planet, more and more public figures are continuing to get ill, and I have no idea as to when it all will end. The Donald is not entirely wrong when he is focusing on the economical aspect of it all, but he is not truly right either. Did I mention that the real life sucks? Because it does. Sad face emoji.

…This is it for now; see you all soon.


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