Valley Girl 2020 - August 18

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so I decided to watch this year’s, (2020), remake of 1983’s ‘Valley Girl’. Why? Because Chloe Bennett, who has made such an impressive interview by the series finale of AoS, (last week, Aug 13-14 2020), starred in it in a secondary role, and-?

Let us start from the beginning. ‘Valley Girl 2020’ went straight to DVD/streaming services in May 2020, and it went down practically unnoticed. Why?

For several reasons that amount to it being like the love child of ‘Like a Boss’ and ‘Doolittle-2020’, (both discussed previously), gone down as expected: it’s vapid. Why?

For two main reasons, I would say. One is that ‘Valley Girl-2020’ was pointedly vapid; yes, it had people of color playing important, (albeit secondary), roles in the film, but so what? As ‘Like a Boss’ showed, these days, (the year 2020 onwards), the presence of people of color is no longer enough for a movie, (or a TV series), to be considered ‘woke’, or ‘progressive’ unlike the past. It makes a movie politically correct, yes, but these days political correctness itself is not ‘woke’ or ‘progressive’ – rather, it is stylish and fashionable, and nothing more. The ole dream factory, including their flagman ship, ‘Disney’, is interested only in money, not in controversy, especially these days, what after the SW sequel trilogy failure, and the Sony confrontation, (won by Sony), and the ‘Artemis Fowl-2020’ flop…

That said, ‘Valley Girl-2020’ was remade more along the lines of ‘Frozen-2’, with as little controversy as possible, (cough, Elsa’s sexual orientation, cough). Back then, someone on the crew of ‘Frozen-2’ proclaimed that ‘Elsa will tell us herself just what her orientation is like’, which is the most brazen piece of deflection ever, and now… And now we got ‘Valley Girl-2020’ which is all about avoidance and deflection and having nothing, nothing controversial, such as the (step)mother-daughter rivalry, present in the original version, but now and here? Unthinkable!

…Put otherwise, today’s USA’s official public morality is much more reminiscent of the 19^th/early 20^th century standards, than those of the actual early 1980s, by comparison, complete with hypocrisy and what else have you. AoS had it – the show actually avoided interracial colors, Phil and Mel never really got together on screen for too long, and as for the other couples? Mack and Yo-Yo are both POCs, the FitzSimmons are both WASPs, and so are Daniel and Daisy for all technical purposes. Everyone else is either single, or married to someone off screen – yes, I’m talking about S.H.I.E.L.D.’s agent Davis, who got replaced an LMD just because the actor’s contract demanded that he appears on a set amount of episodes of AoS, and anything else will result in a real life financial fallout, (among other things, I bet). Within MCU, however, I wonder as to how did Ms. Agent Davis react to her late husband being replaced by a robot? Did she get some hush money, or was she just cut out and told to bugger off, because her husband is actually dead and S.H.I.E.L.D. does not owe her anything anymore? Seriously, how is that for a fanfic idea?

This brings us to the Whedon-son’s reference to fanfiction and his acknowledgement of the AoS’ fandom, fanfiction, fan-art, etc. This acknowledgement is quite flattering, but pointless – the official AoS series are finished, there’s no indication that Marvel will continue to bring AoS characters forwards on Disney+, in the movies, and etc., so the fans can do whatever they want – they, (we), will be just playing with ghosts…

Onwards, (and back), to ‘Valley Girl-2020’? Chloe Bennett did not shine in this movie; her character actually dated the movie’s main antagonist, a jock named Mickey, who was acted by… Logan Paul, who fancied himself YouTube’s version of the Donald, and who had sunk into obscurity much faster than the original has. What matters to us, however, is that Chloe Bennett had acted alongside Logan Paul and there was no problems, no issues, no nothing coming from her. Pause.

Yes, who Chloe Bennett is in real life does not affect her character – well, ex-character Daisy Johnson at all. What is important here is to be aware as to just what kind of person Chloe is, when you are reading her interview, which is about as gushing as those of the Whedon-son and his wife and family. AoS, up to date, had been her one and only main break – yes, she voiced Daisy Johnson on the ‘Marvel Rising’ videos, (does anyone remember them at all?), also, Yi, on Disney’s ‘Abominable’ movie, (again, not exactly up to ‘Frozen’ standards), and now – a secondary character in a slick, forgettable movie.

…Why is ‘Valley Girl-2020’ forgettable? Second, because it is smooth, it got no angles to stick out and to catch the audience members’ attention, but first? It is a ‘jukebox musical’ of a ‘rom-com’, done in a manner of ‘Cats-2019’, but nowhere as bad, because ‘Cats-2019’ is the worst. That said, the viewers of the new ‘Valley Girl’ get constantly bombarded by various 1980s songs, which wears down attention, interest, and what else have you very quickly, and the prosaic dialogue portions of the movie don’t have a lot to contribute in that area to begin with. Anything else?

Sadly no. This is it for now, but it is always nice to talk to you. See you all soon!