Death of a unicorn - April 27

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about the ‘Death of a Unicorn’ film.

Or not, as despite its’ title, the film is rather lackluster and banal. Pause.

Well, there is nothing to pause. A father-daughter duo bring down (accidentally) a unicorn foal and bring it to the father’s boss and his family, (idle rich, whereas the father and daughter are more of working-class people), who promptly abuse and experiment on it… wait. This makes ‘DOAU’ sound actually exciting, while in reality, it feels more like the second Jurassic World film, just with unicorns, rather than dinosaurs; it is a straightforward D&D RPG film, just set in a modern setting, with scientists rather than sorcerers or wizards. In addition, hey, some of the secondary characters are people of color, so there’s that box ticked off!.. Second pause.

Third try. ‘DOAU’ has a lazy script, and while the cast do their best to liven it, the script still fails. Yes, now, the unicorns are more than just horned horses, but so what? Until the 19^th century, perhaps, when the unicorn had a lot of cultural meaning, when the dominant view was that of the Western society, that it is a gentle, pious beast, then ‘DOAU’ could, and would, have been shocking and edgy, but not anymore. Now, the unicorns include the Far East’s qirin and kilin, (remember the last Grindelwald film? Those Far Eastern creatures had a relatively important role in it), animals that blur the lines between the dragon and the unicorn, though they are fully benign. In the RF, there is the Indrik-beast, a mighty monster that is reminiscent of the Near East’s karkadann, (more of a rhino than a horned horse). The Near East also had the al-miraj, a carnivorous rabbit with a single horn, as well as the shadhavar, a unicorn with a hollow horn – when the wind blew, it made a lovely sound with the horn; other creatures, including humans, would approach the shadhavar and be devoured. Finally, in the sea, there was the campuchurch, a marine unicorn with flippers rather than hooves. I.e., real life folklore had plenty of ‘monstrous unicorn’ ideas, but the A24 Company opted to go with a classic, with a twist on it that is just insipid.

The virtuous maiden… she’s played by Jenna Ortega; between “Wednesday” and the “Beetlejuice 2” film, she’s typecast; in this role, yes, she swears and has a nasal ring to make her more modern, but it doesn’t appeal to anyone, as neither the modern audiences nor the fans of the classical ‘the maiden and the unicorn’ approach will care for the ‘DOAU’ film. I did not care much for the ‘DOAU’ film and I have watched it. It ranks right there in the bottom with the ‘Dr. Odyssey’ franchise – but that is another story.

For now, though, this is it. See you all soon!