Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us turn to the movies, and… what is that? The seventh ‘Minions’ movie? Why, for the love of God?!
Let us try again. The DM1 film (I am just numbering
them, come on, all know which DM movie is which); the DM1 film was about Gru
adopting three orphan girls as his stepdaughters and becoming less despicable
and villainous. DM2 introduces Lucy, his love interest; DM3 – his brother, and
the trilogy was complete.
The DM4 film explained the origins of the Minions as
well as their metaphorical journey to become, well, the Minions. DM5 – showed
them becoming, well, minions to Gru when he was a teen or some age like that.
DM6 introduced Gru and Lucy’s new baby son, as well as Poppy, a teenage girl
that becomes somewhat of a family friend – eventually. It also introduces the Super-Minions,
but they do not appear to be in this film, at least – thank God for small
mercies. What next?
The DM7 film appears to be a new expansion of the
DM-verse, as the Minions are going for the Monsters to have them star in the
Minions’ movie. Guess someone watched MCU’s ‘Wonder Man’ series, eh?
Right, Disney/MCU’s ‘Wonder Man’. It is more
ambiguous than it looks. Namely, on one hand, it looks to be the culmination of
Disney/MCU’s desire to have a mini-series with a P.O.C. in charge; they tried
it with RiRi ‘Ironheart’ Williams, and when her own series failed first, and Marvel
Zombies cartoon series were almost just as bad, they went with Wonder Man
instead. Therefore, on the other
hand, WM appears to be more like ‘Agatha All Along’: it is connected to MCU but
doesn’t appear to influence it; as Agatha and co. were dismissed after AAA
finished, so did the WM – it is done, it is gone, Disney/MCU has its’
feel-good, and it puts WM into the storage, right next to AAA, if it ever will
need either of them again. (It will not). What next?
‘Knight of the 7 kingdoms’ continues apace, with
even more Targaryens that we ever wanted. The people are continuing to watch
it; they like it well enough, but nothing more; the fan support is getting
there, of course, but slower than they had with HoD, so there is that. Dunk and
Egg are joined by Waffle – I mean, Daeron Targaryen and are about to go against
Aerion the Monstrous; say what you will, but Aerys from GoT (ASOIAF) was much worse
by far out of the two (for now). Guess we will have to wait to see if he does
live up to his moniker, or not.
In addition, it will be curious to see just how Lyonel
Baratheon’s friendship with Dunk and Egg will evolve. The Baratheons were Lords
Paramount of Stormlands, and as such – just below the Targaryens themselves,
but Egg is a Targaryen, (and will become king, cough), while Dunk will become
the Lord Commander (and the ancestor of Brienne), so Lyonel’s friendship with
them can easily become a Good Thing for the House Baratheon – and maybe it did.
Certainly, until the Targaryens did that shit with the Starks the Baratheons
were loyal to them well enough; why, everyone was loyal to them until Rhaegar
listened to his inner Tarquin, and then almost no one was. (Just look up
Shakespeare’s poem ‘The Rape of Lucretia’ would you? It is that Tarquin). What next?
Well, DM7 is going to be a cash-grab; good or bad is
another story, but this one? It is going to be a cash-grab. ‘Illumination’ is
already sticking Minions wherever, anywhere, regardless of whether people want
it or not, and now they are getting their own movie. Again. DM4 was their first
movie, and it did lay the groundwork for the second DM trilogy, but you have to
admit that the DM6 film has a rather final feel to it, especially the last
scenes that just re-introduce all the main characters from all of the six films
in one capacity or another; it leaves Gru with his wife, daughters, son, and
even brother (and some family friends) on his lawn – clearly, it was supposed
to be the series’ finale. Now we are having a new Minions movie, (just when the
U.S. movie industry seems to be struggling as it is). Why, for the love of
God?! Oh, wait, it’s real life. It sucks. Yay.
Well, this is it for now anyhow. See you all soon,
instead.
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