About Nolan's 'Odyssey' - May 7

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so what does Mr. Nolan do? Plans to make an ‘Odyssey’ that will make RL even more so.

What is the biggest beef of people with the ‘Odyssey-2026’ (upcoming?). The American accents of the characters/cast and the contemporary language. Mr. Nolan openly refers such pieces of modern movie history as MCU and DCEU, (the latter is somewhat defunct now) as his role models. Pause.

MCU, in particular, tried to ground itself in realism, especially the first three phases, but it was ‘realism’, not ‘reality’- Pause. Stop.

Let us look at the trailer again. What do we see? For example, Antinous, treating Telemachus how Jaime Lannister could be treating Jon Snow (in the opening episodes of GoT). The problem here is not in Antinous treating Telemachus badly, but that it was already done in this style, Mr. Nolan is not creating something original, but borrowing someone else’s ideas.

Look at Mr. Nolan’s ‘Odyssey’-related interview. He is referring to Ms. Emily Wilson’s version of the ‘Odyssey’ as his source material. Stop.

Ms. Haynes – remember her – claimed to re-tell some original myths from a supposedly more woman-friendly approaches, but she did it in a manner that was inoffensive and intellectual. Yes, in her novels, (non-fiction is somewhat different) women are good (with exceptions), and men are bad (with exceptions), but those exceptions undercut her entire narrative on one hand, and on the other by offending no one, she is winning no one’s approval either. People, especially literary critics, are singing her praises, but pretty words butter no parsnips and all.

…Ms. Wilson’s re-telling/translation of the ‘Odyssey’ feels a lot like a sister project to Ms. Haynes’ novels – it allegedly might be more gender-equal, woman-friendly, but in reality, it is just another re-telling/translation of the ‘Odyssey’, as a translation/re-telling isn’t the same as writing an original work; Hollywood might be struggling with original works, but so does literature, it seems.

Moreover, just because Mr. Nolan is reading Ms. Wilson’s version of the ‘Odyssey’ does not mean that he will adapt it directly – since his characters are already talking like an average American does – he will not. In translations of the ‘Odyssey’, the characters – and the narrator – do not talk as modern people do; that is the epic’s charm. Well, a part of it anyhow. In Mr. Nolan’s film this will not happen – people are talking in modern American English, referring to the modern American culture (i.e. GoT), to begin with. Huzzah.

Pause. Aside from the language, my main problem are the Lestrygonians – what did they do to them? Listen, if for Homer the Phaeacians were the elves, the Seelie court, then the Lestrygonians were their opposite, the orcs/the Unseelie – and Mr. Nolan is ignoring it; his take on the ‘Odyssey’ already feels ‘inoffensive’ – just like Ms. Haynes’ novels, just like Mr. Serkis’s ‘Animal Farm’, (you didn’t think that I’ll forget it this soon?), despite his words and his allegedly politically progressive opinions, he isn’t trying to convert/convince anyone to join the party; he just wants to make a buck.

No, seriously, the books, the TV series, the movies, the mass media of the centuries past tended to be opinionated if not controversial; each work of fiction, (or non-fiction) tended to push/promote the views of the author (and their cohorts, sometimes), and now this isn’t happening. In the past, mass media often stirred the pot on purpose, and now it does not. Instead, it stirs the pot unintentionally – just look at the Lestrygonians. Just who was the idiotic genius who came up with the medieval knight/Robocop™ idea here?

Alternatively, look at Mr. Nolan’s Scylla. It is supposedly a cephalopod-crustacean creature, according to him. Right, well, the crustaceans – crabs, lobsters, crayfish, and woodlice – are arthropods; they are related to spiders, scorpions, and insects. The cephalopods, on the other hand – octopi, squids, and cuttlefish – are mollusks; their relatives are snails and oysters, (broadly speaking). ‘A cephalopod-crustacean’ creature is just as unreal and mythical as the centaur or a harpy is. (Not the harpy eagle, ok?). Mr. Nolan is trying to be original. He is failing.

What else? No, this is pretty much it. Just as Ms. Haynes, Mr. Nolan is trying to be inoffensive, just as Mr. Serkis tried with the ‘Animal Farm’. The latter was a tire fire that everyone is ignoring, unlike ‘Prada-2’, because ‘Prada-2’ is actually well made from a technical angle; so are Ms. Haynes’ novels. Only, because ‘Prada-2’ is also much more visible than Ms. Haynes’ novels are, it is being discussed more than the latter…

In addition, consequently, will be Mr. Nolan’s ‘Odyssey’ – already people are divided about it, and that is just the trailers. Of course, there is also the final trailer for the latest ‘Minions’ movie, and for the love of Zeus, why would anyone release this abomination on the screen? By now, it is the minions vs. the monsters based on Howard Lovecraft’s works, and this is just wrong. When the Western cinematograph tries to come up with something original, this is the best they can come up with? Maybe they should adapt Ms. Haynes’ novels instead – they’re just bland, the ‘Minions’ are worse… That is real life, however. It sucks.

Well, this is it for now. See you all soon.

Minions and Monsters 1 - Feb 10

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us turn to the movies, and… what is that? The seventh ‘Minions’ movie? Why, for the love of God?!

Let us try again. The DM1 film (I am just numbering them, come on, all know which DM movie is which); the DM1 film was about Gru adopting three orphan girls as his stepdaughters and becoming less despicable and villainous. DM2 introduces Lucy, his love interest; DM3 – his brother, and the trilogy was complete.

The DM4 film explained the origins of the Minions as well as their metaphorical journey to become, well, the Minions. DM5 – showed them becoming, well, minions to Gru when he was a teen or some age like that. DM6 introduced Gru and Lucy’s new baby son, as well as Poppy, a teenage girl that becomes somewhat of a family friend – eventually. It also introduces the Super-Minions, but they do not appear to be in this film, at least – thank God for small mercies. What next?

The DM7 film appears to be a new expansion of the DM-verse, as the Minions are going for the Monsters to have them star in the Minions’ movie. Guess someone watched MCU’s ‘Wonder Man’ series, eh?

Right, Disney/MCU’s ‘Wonder Man’. It is more ambiguous than it looks. Namely, on one hand, it looks to be the culmination of Disney/MCU’s desire to have a mini-series with a P.O.C. in charge; they tried it with RiRi ‘Ironheart’ Williams, and when her own series failed first, and Marvel Zombies cartoon series were almost just as bad, they went with Wonder Man instead. Therefore, on the other hand, WM appears to be more like ‘Agatha All Along’: it is connected to MCU but doesn’t appear to influence it; as Agatha and co. were dismissed after AAA finished, so did the WM – it is done, it is gone, Disney/MCU has its’ feel-good, and it puts WM into the storage, right next to AAA, if it ever will need either of them again. (It will not). What next?

‘Knight of the 7 kingdoms’ continues apace, with even more Targaryens that we ever wanted. The people are continuing to watch it; they like it well enough, but nothing more; the fan support is getting there, of course, but slower than they had with HoD, so there is that. Dunk and Egg are joined by Waffle – I mean, Daeron Targaryen and are about to go against Aerion the Monstrous; say what you will, but Aerys from GoT (ASOIAF) was much worse by far out of the two (for now). Guess we will have to wait to see if he does live up to his moniker, or not.

In addition, it will be curious to see just how Lyonel Baratheon’s friendship with Dunk and Egg will evolve. The Baratheons were Lords Paramount of Stormlands, and as such – just below the Targaryens themselves, but Egg is a Targaryen, (and will become king, cough), while Dunk will become the Lord Commander (and the ancestor of Brienne), so Lyonel’s friendship with them can easily become a Good Thing for the House Baratheon – and maybe it did. Certainly, until the Targaryens did that shit with the Starks the Baratheons were loyal to them well enough; why, everyone was loyal to them until Rhaegar listened to his inner Tarquin, and then almost no one was. (Just look up Shakespeare’s poem ‘The Rape of Lucretia’ would you? It is that Tarquin). What next?

Well, DM7 is going to be a cash-grab; good or bad is another story, but this one? It is going to be a cash-grab. ‘Illumination’ is already sticking Minions wherever, anywhere, regardless of whether people want it or not, and now they are getting their own movie. Again. DM4 was their first movie, and it did lay the groundwork for the second DM trilogy, but you have to admit that the DM6 film has a rather final feel to it, especially the last scenes that just re-introduce all the main characters from all of the six films in one capacity or another; it leaves Gru with his wife, daughters, son, and even brother (and some family friends) on his lawn – clearly, it was supposed to be the series’ finale. Now we are having a new Minions movie, (just when the U.S. movie industry seems to be struggling as it is). Why, for the love of God?! Oh, wait, it’s real life. It sucks. Yay.

Well, this is it for now anyhow. See you all soon, instead.