S.H.I.E.L.D. 'Option Two' - April 28

This week’s episode of AoS was aired yesterday. In more exciting news, the ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ part 1 movie was aired yesterday too. What shall we talk about first?

One thing that connects the two – aside from the Marvel logo – is, or rather are, Hill and Fury. These former leaders of S.H.I.E.L.D. appeared in A: IW1 post-credit scenes. What we need to focus on here, passing the potential spoiler situation, is the fact that they are still out and about in MCU at large, so…why haven’t they visited their friend Phil Coulson and the remainder of S.H.I.E.L.D. at the Lighthouse? Fury appeared only in AoS S1, Hill – in S1 and 2, but still, if their actors still star in MCU features, why not on AoS? AoS seems to be bleeding actors still, but-

But the same may be said about MCU too? A: IW1 had Thanos kill Loki, Heimdall and Valkyrie, apparently, since they do not appear in the movie. Why? And how? And how come?

…Yes, Loki has practice at pretending to die, and so he may have had Thanos fooled, and rescued Valkyrie and/or Heimdall and some other Asgardian refugees, but again, couldn’t this be featured in the movie? And as we know, Loki did work for Thanos, so why would Thanos kill him now? Because of the initial failure? Maybe, but again, it could have happened on-screen, especially if this just the first half of a duology.

Dead aliens bring us back to AoS. General-brigadier Talbot, of all people, fused with gravitonium in this episode and killed the alien invaders. Pause. The aliens of ‘Option Two’ – this week’s episode – weren’t even Kree; just some crazy alien ninjas that could generate their own clouds of darkness, were resilient to ordinary bullets and armed with kunai, rather than katanas; the latter were used by Mack and May instead. Since when does S.H.I.E.L.D. use katanas? Since they have tried to rip-off ‘The Defenders’, it seems.

‘The Defenders’ deserve a mention of their own, since S2 of ‘Luke Cage’ is coming to Netflix and beyond in summer 2018. S2 of ‘Jessica Jones’ was marked by some interesting twists and turns, including a semi-weak villain storyline, and her resemblance of BtVS’ Faith the Vampire Slayer – but that’s ‘Jessica Jones’. ‘Luke Cage’ is a different story…and another issue that the fans and viewers had with ‘Jessica Jones’ was the lack of reference to ‘The Defenders’ (S1) plotline. Will ‘Luke Cage’ be different? But we must get more information on his S2 first…

Instead, we learn that ‘Cloak & Dagger’ are also coming to TV (Freeform), this summer. By now, we know that the show will take a more spiritual/religious take on the duo than the comics usually do, so S1 of this show will be interesting to watch as well…

None of this is helping AoS though; last week’s episode’s numbers were lower even they were for the ‘Life Earned’ episode. That is just sad, but that is bad luck for you: some time in the last third of S4, AoS reached a point where viewers just were not excited about it anymore, and it shows. Sucks to be it.

…That is it for this week; see you soon!

Shadow polar bear - April 25

For a change, here's a polar bear, augmented with the shadow template from the latest Pathfinder: Campaign Setting book. (Nidal). How it looks?

SHADOW POLAR BEAR CR 6

XP 1,600

N Large outsider (native)

Init +3; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent; Perception +8

DEFENSE

AC 20, touch 12, flat-footed 17 (+3 Dex, +7 natural, -1 size)

hp 52 (5d8+30)

Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +4

Defensive Abilities shadow blend

OFFENSE

Speed 50 ft., swim 30 ft.

Melee bite +9 (1d8+7), 2 claws +9 (1d6+7 plus grab)

Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.

Special Abilities hide in plain sight, resistance cold 10

STATISTICS

Str 25, Dex 21, Con 23, Int 4, Wis 18, Cha 14

Base Atk +3; CMB +11 (+15 grapple); CMD 24 (28 vs. trip)

Feats Endurance, Run, Skill Focus (Survival)

Skills Perception +8, Survival +8, Swim +19; Racial Modifiers +4 Intimidate, +4 Stealth

ECOLOGY

Environment cold coastlines or plains

Organization solitary or pair

Treasure none

real life is crazy - April 23

The obligatory disclaimer: real life…it does not suck, not always. Sometimes it is just insane instead. If you look on Yahoo’s™ news of the day, you will see why. I, incidentally, got caught on the tail end of the event in question, and just barely made it home. Go me. Not. Several other people got much more unlucky…

Anything else? Just that last week’s episode of MLP: FiM featured more of the hippogriff-merpony weirdness. Again. Yes, it is continuity with the MLP vs. the Storm King movie, but… again, who was the genius behind this idea? The whole sea to sky/land conversion isn’t too different from what Disney™ did in their ‘Little Mermaid’ franchise, but how would this work in a more anthropomorphic setting, (say, the Equestria Girls side-universe)? Merponies are, naturally, merfolk; Equestrian ponies correspond to the humans, dwarves and elves of the modern RPG worlds, so where do the new races fit in? And the hippogriffs, as I said in an earlier time, were an especially inconvenient idea, because – hybrid species, remember? So the entire merpony/hippogriff episode was weird; its’ main idea was sound and important, because it dealt with the fate and status of children of separated/divorced parents (grown-ups), due to irreconcilable, (or nearly so), differences…

So, where does this lead us? Nowhere, for today was just too full of insanity, the bad kind. Therefore, nothing more will be said today, not at the moment.

See you all soon instead!

S.H.I.E.L.D. 'Roads' - April 21

‘All roads lead…’ Lead to where?

Firstly, bad news – last week’s episode of AoS had the lowest numbers ever. For reasons discussed that week, it is not surprising. This week’s the tendencies continue: AoS continues to hemorrhage actors, even though they give their best performances ever, just look at Dove Cameron and her character, Ruby.

No, really, let us look at Ruby and her interactions with the rest of AoS characters. In a twist of… something, AoS killed Ruby on this week’s episode, leaving her mother, general ‘No First Name’ Hale to deal with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the alien Confederacy. With her hair literally down general NFN Hale does look more formidable and more Hydra, so there is that – good for her, hooray!

Back to AoS proper? Dove Cameron is a great actress and she delivered beautifully, but the thing is? Her character was supposed to be Daisy’s archnemesis, and that did not happen; in fact, the plot backflipped and presented Ruby as a very scared young woman who was in desperate need of love…and then Yo-Yo killed her with Ruby’s own chakram.

The chakram deserves a mention of its own – like, who was the genius who came up with it? And what was the motivation behind it? Was it some sort of a homage to Lucy Lawless, who played the character of agent Izzy Hartley for a couple of episodes at the beginning of S2? Frankly, that was not LL’s best character role, and anyhow, since we are in the final third of S5, this is a bit of stretch, plus Dove Cameron and Lucy Lawless do not have anything in common, so the chakram is a bit of a flop, just as Simmons’ declaration about her and Fitz’s advancement in the last week’s episode was. And speaking of Dove Cameron…

She is a great actress and expects to be paid accordingly. And unlike, say, ‘Blindspot’, AoS relies heavily on special effects, and CGI, and the like, which aren’t cheap either, so they probably cannot afford any heavy hitters from real life actors to keep on their payroll for very long, not considering that their main cast is big already. So’s ‘Blindspot’s’, but…

But ‘Blindspot’ is going for something different, and it is not the show in threat to be cancelled; AoS is. Of course, since the S5’s finale is named curtly ‘End’, it may be that this is the last season of AoS, cancellation or no cancellation. Gregg is remaining in MCU, since he is appearing in the upcoming ‘Captain Marvel’ movie at least; Wen is voicing a character in a GotG animated movie/cartoon, so MCU is not done with them, no, but with AoS? That’s another story.

And even now the show continues to mangle its’ characters; Deke has devolved into some scruffy schmuck; general Glenn Talbot became Hydra’s most incompetent brainwashed agent; Hinton the seer girl remains the most unsympathetic child actress ever.

No, seriously, is her character supposed to have the emotional range of a washroom tile wall or what? Her lack of emotions could do the Cavalry proud…but it is done in a bad way, to a point where the young Robin is unsympathetic, (whereas her senior citizen version is insipid and simpering), and that is bad. AoS is playing for speed now, events in its’ episodes are rushing like a spooked horse herd, and the actors and their characters are leaving just as fast: Anton is gone, and so’re Werner and Ruby. Creel is not gone, but his character was driven insane by gravitonium, so odds are he will not be appearing any time soon in AoS’ episodes either. What is left?

A good show that has been dealt a bad happen. In the second half of AoS’ S2, most of the actors left suddenly but at the same time, causing a shock. From S3, however, the actors still leave suddenly, in large amounts, (only the main cast remains, and even that underwent some changes as the show’s seasons went by, and now it has gotten worse. It is unknown of AoS will continue beyond this current season, but if it does – lucky for it!

That is it for this time, see you all soon!

Fallen Kingdom - April 18

The latest, and apparently the last, JW: FK trailer was released today. And?

And it is set in a world where dinosaurs – well, non-avian dinosaurs – will live alongside humans freely from now on, it seems. This puts JW (the movie franchise) right next to FH and the rest of Ubisoft™ games – firmly in the realm of fiction.

Here is the thing…actually, several things. FH itself is continuing to improve; the new training mode of the game truly makes things better and easier in the game, so there is no reason to complain about it, not in the immediate range. Many of FH’s initial flaws were technical, so Ubisoft™ fixed them with minimal fuss, and by now FH acquired or re-acquired enough of a stable fanbase to keep itself, well, stable. And flourishing. Good for them indeed, and if they have not released any of new heroes, then that is not a problem either: with the ‘regular cast’ increased from 12 characters to 18, there is someone for everyone already.

…If we are talking about Ubisoft™, then yes, there was the ‘Far Cry 5’ game released by it earlier in 2018 too. It is a good game, but very different from FH not just on the obvious level, but from the initial layout onwards. People have enjoyed playing it as well, but enough of them also agree that it is not the best ‘Far Cry’ game either. I am not really a big specialist of those Ubisoft™ games, so I am not going to go down there, sorry. …But ‘Far Cry 5’ still deserves a mention, because it is an Ubisoft™ game as well, if nothing else.

Back to the JW franchise? Look. From the start, even Michael Crichton made it an AU – if you read his first novel, for example, you will learn that that is a world where genetic modification was a part of common-day life; Hammond (the book character, and a different from how he was depicted in the movie), had a dwarf elephant, the size of a cat or a rat; his archrival, (the one who bribed Nedry in the first place), tested some sort of an anti-rabies vaccine on cattle in South America, and illegally too, but it didn’t feature in the movies, so that’s not the point – the point is that in the novels, the Jurassic Park and its’ associated existed in a universe that was alternate to ours from the start; and now…

Now we are going into the full realm of science fiction, just with dinosaurs rather than space travel or whatever. The Indoraptor looks like a cross between a raptor from the JP3 movie and a D&D troll, while acting like an all-too-human stalker of young children…but so did the dinosaurs, or rather – especially the carnivores – in the original novels; they just couldn’t help but to kill humans just because, and the previous JW movie was actually more restrained than the JP3 film was in that area. Anything else?

The mosasaur seems to act rather like a monster shark from the recent monster movies would, but so what? ‘The Meg’ is also coming later in 2018 and it shows that the shark – or rather, an idea of the shark – has appropriated its’ own place among fictional monsters, so there is that. So far, no one has tried to create a ‘Jurassic shark’, but I am sure that between the ‘Deep Blue Sea’ movie series and the upcoming ‘Meg’ movie someone will.

…In related news, ‘Westworld’ the TV series is returning to TV in 2018 too; it is a Jurassic Park but with androids (mostly cowboy androids, but there are others, or there will be), instead of dinosaurs. The S1 of the series was already very exciting, so there is every reason to believe that the S2 will be just as good. Hurray!

…And that is it for now, see you all soon.

S.H.I.E.L.D. 'Honeymoon' - April 14

‘The Honeymoon’ was aired last night. And…AoS continues to disappoint. Why? Because it is disjointed.

Let us try again. Firstly, AoS continues to disrespect its’ characters by constantly redesigning them. In this episode, general Hale – who still lacks a first name, but by now is taking her hair down, on occasion, making her look more like her daughter, Ruby – talks about ‘the chamber’ with her latest right-hand woman, how she wants Ivanov to go into it first, to learn what it will do to human flesh, etc. This does make her sound ruthless, as a Hydra head should be, but…

But Ivanov is a robot by now; in S4, AIDA has destroyed his old body completely and remade him into several LMDs. Whatever LMD of Ivanov survived, they would be completely inorganic as well, (save for the brain, maybe), and as such the chamber’s effect on Ivanov would be completely different from what it would be on Ruby, because the latter doesn’t appear to be an LMD or an android; so far she appears to be wholly organic. This will change in the next episode, but still a point must be made, beforehand.

The same goes for Yo-Yo. Poor NCB, (aka the actress). Clearly, AoS cannot afford to give her character special effects in regards to superspeed, so they made her a cyborg instead; Yo-Yo still has speed, she just cannot use it, because it hurts her very badly instead. This is a crummy thing to do a character; Yo-Yo was built around her speed and now she will be rebuilt from scratch just because – but we talked about how AoS disrespects its’ characters…without any good reason.

And now we have the disjunction on top of disrespect. Not so long ago, the Marvel comics ran a promo picture-collage for AoS: S1 promo on top, S5 on the bottom. The two pictures just did not match – not just because Ward is back, while Mack and Yo-Yo have toughed it out, but because the style, the layout, the depiction, the atmosphere, everything is different; from S1 to S5 AoS became a different show completely!

Now, this does not make AoS unique; ‘Primeval’ of ‘Impossible Pictures’ (IP) has done the same thing, with fewer episodes than AoS has…and it is gone now. IP tried to reboot the series with ‘Primeval: New World’ (P: NW), but it has died after just a single season, and yes, the Primeval series and the rest of IP had a bad break regarding their mother company the BBC and the entirety of ‘Walking with…’ franchise, but the fluidity of its’ acting cast – we’re still talking about the original ‘Primeval’ series here – didn’t help the situation either. At least AoS is constant in that each of its’ seasons was about 22 episodes long – ‘Primeval’ didn’t even had that; its’ various seasons had different amount of episodes, and thus ‘Primeval’ suffered…

Back to AoS? The title of this episode reflects the honeymoon of the FitzSimmons, but the episode itself didn’t do such a good job with it; the FitzSimmons’ plot line was only one of several featured in this episode, (and the entire episode feels rushed); at one moment, Simmons comments to Fitz about how they know now how to strap on a parachute correctly, but…

But the reference is of that S1 episode, when Simmons got infested with an alien virus, and while she did get cured, she did jumped out of the plane to prevent infesting the others…and Grant Ward, now forgotten, jumped out and caught her. Fitz did not. Ergo, this statement of Simmons is devalued and is meaningless, or even a lie. The way that the FitzSimmons fought Hydra’s robot soldiers in synchronisation again reflects how…Grant and May, (or maybe Coulson and May, I am not sure), fought a bunch of rebel soldiers in another S1 episode, so how does that relates to the FitzSimmons directly?

…And then, of course, there are the Star Wars elements; in particular, Jemma Simons is lately dressed – and wears her hair – in a style vaguely reminiscent of Ray from the new trilogy and of Jyn from the ‘Rogue One’ movie. What is up with that?

…SW references aside…this episode of AoS was a mess, and not even the FitzSimmons could save it. They, together with Yo-Yo, have tricked Mack, causing him to stay on the base, just in time save Deke, who had been shot helping Daisy, by being a doctor, right alongside agent Piper.

…Neither Mack nor Piper showed any signs of being medically savvy ever in AoS before; yes, Mack did help Simmons graft the cyborg arms onto Yo-Yo recently, but the key words here are ‘helping Simmons’. Ever since Piper appears in AoS in S4, she was shown to be only May’s protégé, nothing more, and May herself is not that medically savvy either.

So. AoS numbers continue to fall; they have come up, or rather – come upwards – in the last week’s episode, but if AoS continues to, well, disrespect itself, it’s doubtful that this streak will last for very long.

…That is it for this time; see you all soon!

Pathfinder: Changeling OC III - April

Narana, female storm-born changeling oracle 9

CE Medium humanoid (changeling)

Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +1

AC 22, touch 19, flat-footed 19 (+3 armor, +2 Dex, +1 dodge, +6 air barrier)

hp 72 (9d8)

Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +7

Resist air barrier +6

Weaknesses oracle’s curse (clouded vision)

Speed 30 ft.

Melee quarterstaff +6 (1d6) and

Quarterstaff +1 (1d6) or

Melee 2 claws +6 (1d4)

Ranged sling +2 (1d4)

Special Attacks gaseous form (9 minutes per day), lightning breath (9d4 electricity, 2/day)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 9th; concentration +4)

1/day—alter winds, create water, obscuring mist.

Oracle Spells Known (CL 9th; concentration +4)

4^th (4/day) – cure critical wounds, freedom of movement, river of wind (M)

3^rd (6/day) – cloak of winds (M) continual flame, cure serious wounds, searing light

2^nd (6/day) – cure moderate wounds, gust of wind (M), lesser restoration, shield other, sound burst

1^st (6/day) – alter winds (M), comprehend languages, cure light wounds, doom, endure elements, hide from undead, magic stone

0 (at will) – detect magic, guidance, light, purify food and drink, read magic, stabilize, virtue

Mystery wind

Str 10, Dex 14, Con 8, Int 13, Wis 14, Cha 17

Base Atk +6; CMB +6; CMD 13

Feats Awakened Hag Heritage, Combat Casting, Divine Defiance, Divine Denouncer, Dodge, Iron Will

Skills Acrobatics +10, Diplomacy +13, Escape Artist +16, Heal +11 (+12 with healer’s kit), Knowledge (history) +11, Spellcraft +12, Swim +12

Languages Auran, Common

Combat Gear scroll of cure light wounds (2), thunderstone; Other Gear studded leather armor, quarterstaff, slight with 10 bullets, backpack, fortune-telling bones, healer’s kit, rations (6), silver holy symbol, spell component pouch, 10 gp

Narana is the leader of the trio; a daughter of a storm hag, she herself is a potent divine spellcaster - an oracle. She worships no god or demon, but rather the winds and the storms themselves, and behaves accordingly.

Like many changelings and hags, including her own mother, Narana is power-hungry, but she does make it impersonal - she just wants power to rule and she doesn't care about who gets in her way; she thinks in grand gestures and long-term plots, not into details and 'petty revenges'.

Of all trio, Narana is the nastiest and the cowardliest, even by changeling standards; she prefers to let her erstwhile allies to do the immediate fighting, while she hangs in the back; if she is confronted and her hp fall to 20 or lower, she will flee and never return, abandoning even her cohorts to their fates.

...That's it for the changelings for now; how did they come across?

Pathfinder: Changeling OC II - April 12

Varya

Sea-born changeling sorcerer 7 CR 6

CE Medium humanoid (changeling)

Init +1; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +9

AC 17, touch 12, flat-footed 16 (+4 armor, +1 deflection, +1 Dex, +1 natural)

hp 46 (7d6+17)

Fort +6, Ref +10, Will +11

Defensive Abilities stormchild

Resist electricity 5, sonic 5

Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft.

Melee mwk falchion +7 (2d4+4/18-20) or

2 claws +7 (1d4+4)

Ranged mwk heavy crossbow +5 (1d10+2/19-20)

Bloodline Spell-Like Abilities (CL 7^th; concentration +8)

6/day – thunderstaff

Sorcerer Spells Known (CL 7^th; concentration +8)

3^rd (5/day)—haste, lightning bolt (DC 17), wind wall

2^nd (7/day)—blur, false life, glitterdust (DC 15), gust of wind (DC 15)

1^st (7/day)—mage armor, magic missile, magic weapon, ray of enfeeblement (DC 14), shield, shocking grasp (DC 15)

0 (at will)—bleed (DC 13), dancing lights, detect magic, flare (DC 14), light, ray of frost (cold), read magic

Bloodline stormborn

Str 16, Dex 14, Con 11, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 16.

Feats Awaken Hag Heritage, Dodge, Eschew Materials, Iron Will, Spell Focus (evocation), Toughness

Skills Intimidate +11, Knowledge (nature) +3, Linguistics +0, Perception +9, Spellcraft +4

Languages Aquan, Common, Polyglot

SQ bloodline arcana (+1 to save DCs of spells with the electricity or sonic description), sea lungs

Combat Gear potion of cure moderate wounds, scroll of fly (2); Other Gear masterwork falchion, masterwork heavy crossbow with 10 bolts, amulet of natural armor +1, ring of protection +1, 225 gp.

Varya is the second member of the not-quite-coven. She is an arcane magic user, a sorceress with the power - and affinity of - storms, something that she has acquired from her father' side. As such, she is even more conflicted about her dual nature as a changeling, than an average member of her race is.

Varya is as unpredictable as the storms that feed her bloodline arcana are. She resembles her mother's people - the sea hags - physically, but her fairly gaunt frame belies her impressive physical strength; despite her being a magic user, her falchion and heavy crossbow aren't just for show and she's always ready to go toe to toe regardless of whether she can or cannot win.

In general, Varya wants to further her arcane skills and to discover her parents - who they were, or even who they are. Whether or not she will kill them is another question altogether.

Any comments?

Pathfinder: Changeling OC I - April 11

Orishka

Green-born changeling rogue 7

NE Medium humanoid (changeling)

Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +12

AC 19, touch 15, flat-footed 14 (+4 armor, +4 Dex, +1 dodge)

hp 28 (7d8-7)

Fort +4, Ref +10, Will +5

Defensive Abilities evasion, trap sense +2, uncanny dodge

Speed 30 ft.

Melee +1 rapier +10 (1d6+3/18-20) or

2 claws +10 (1d4+2)

Ranged mwk light crossbow +10 (1d8/19-20)

Special Attacks sneak attack +4d6

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 9^th; concentration +10)

1/day—disguise self

Str 14, Dex 18, Con 10, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 10

Base Atk +5; CMB +7; CMD 22

Feats Awakened Hag Heritage, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Iron Will, Weapon Finesse

Skills Acrobatics +14, Bluff +11, Diplomacy +11, Disable Device +14, Disguise +11, Knowledge (local) +11, Perception +12, Sense Motive +12, Sleight of Hand +14, Stealth +14 Swim +12

Languages Common, Garundi

SQ green widow, rogue talents (combat trick, fast stealth, stand up), trapfinding +3

Combat Gear potion of cure moderate wounds, potion of invisibility, tanglefoot bag; Other Gear +1 studded leather, +1 rapier, masterwork light crossbow with 20 bolts, cloak of resistance +1, thieves’ tools, 489 gp.

Orishka is a member in a quasi-coven of three changelings, who plan on taking over the local town...just because. Orishka is the practical and the hands-on member of the coven. A rogue, not a spell-caster, she's usually the first to go into a troublesome situation, or a less pristine one, such as bartering with the locals. She looks like a pale and sickly, yet still attractive, Garundi woman, and indeed, she prefers to fight with finesse, not strength, but people should underestimate her at their peril; Orishka often hires some toughs to further tip the odds in her favor too.

Orishka's Garundi good looks hide a generally rough and ugly character; though she is appreciative of the beauty in the world, (by changeling standards, anyhow), but in combat she can be ruthless and will fight until she's down to 10 hp.

Orishka has hidden her changeling nature, perhaps even too successfully - many of the local thieves' guilds have a warrant out for her, so she is constantly on the move and has to look-out for competition as well; thus, she is somewhat paranoid and is liable to turn on a supposed enemy with just a slightest provocation.

Any comments?

Pathfinder: Thuvian alchemist

For a change, here's a Pathfinder NPC that I made. The Thuvian Alchemist prestige class is featured in the 'People of the Sands' Player Companion. What do you think?

Female kitsune alchemist 8/Thuvian alchemist 3 CR 10

CN Medium humanoid (kitsune, shapechanger)

Init +3; Senses low-light vision; Perception +10

AC 18, touch 13, flat-footed 15 (+5 armor, +3 Dex)

hp 80 (8d8+24 plus 3d6+9)

Fort +9, Ref +11, Will +4; +8 vs. poison

Speed 30 ft.

Melee +1 short sword +6/+1 (1d6+2/18-20), masterwork short sword +6 (1d6/18-20), bite +2 (1d4) or

+1 short sword +8/+3 (1d6+2/18-20) or

Bite +7 (1d4+1)

Ranged bomb +10/+5 (4d6+2 fire) or

Mwk darkwood light crossbow +10 (1d8/19-20)

Special Attacks bomb 11/day (5d6+2, fire, DC 16)

Alchemist Extracts Prepared (CL 8^th)

4^th—cure critical wounds, fire shield

3^rd—cure serious wounds, elemental aura, heroism, remove blindness/deafness

2^nd—blur, cure moderate wounds, false life, levitate, protection from arrows

1^st—bomber’s eye, cure light wounds, expeditious retreat, shield, touch of the sea

Str 13, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 15, Wis 8, Cha 12

Base Atk +7; CMB +8; CMD 21

Feats Brew Potion, Eagle-Eyed, Expert Salvager, False Trail, Power Attack, Throw Anything, Toughness, Two-Weapon Fighting

Skills Acrobatics +2, Bluff +7, Climb +1, Craft (alchemy) +13, Heal +3, Knowledge (nature) +8, Perception +10, Profession (herbalist) +8, Spellcraft +16, Survival +3, Swim +1, Use Magic Device +3; Racial Modifiers Acrobatics +2

Languages Common, Ossirian, Thuvian, Undercommon

SQ alchemy (alchemy crafting +8, identify potions), change shape (Medium humanoid; alter self), discoveries (concussive bomb [4d4+2 sonic plus deafness), fast bombs, infusion, precise bombs [2 squares]), fast shifter, healing solution (cure light wounds, cure moderate wounds), mutagen (+4/-2, +2 natural, 80 minutes), poison use, swift alchemy, swift poisoning, Thuvian discovery (extra curative enhancement)

Combat Gear potion of fly, potion of invisibility, acid (5), bloodroot (4 doses), large scorpion venom (4 doses); Other Gear +1 darkleaf cloth leather lamellar, +1 short sword, masterwork darkwood light crossbow with 20 bolts, mwk short sword, cloak of resistance +1, alchemist’s kit, jade jewelry worth 180 gp, 23 gp

The Meg - April 9

The long-mastered and semi-obligatory disclaimer: the real life sometimes…no, not really suck, but is crazy and unpredictable and sometimes is very easy to hate, or at least to feel confused, for those of us for whom ‘hate’ is a too specific and concrete word. Okay? Now where were we…?

With ‘The Meg’. It is yet another monster movie, shark movie, based on, not surprisingly, on the biggest real life shark – the megalodon of the Miocene and Pliocene epochs. Ever since Discovery Channel’s ‘Megalodon: the Monster Shark Lives’ mockumentary, done for a Shark Week special week, megalodon was given a special status in human mythology: it is the latest embodiment of human fear of the sea.

Let us elaborate. Humans have always feared the sea, as it was an alien element for them, and an inhospitable one. They feared the fresh water bodies too, but the ocean-sea? Especially so. Those fears manifested in various monsters, such as the kraken, (later identified as the real life’s giant squid species), the sea serpent, (whose real life identity remains undetermined by now), and the other monsters from the myths of the ancient Greeks, Scandinavians and beyond. Jolly good, and then there was the shark.

…The shark is the alpha predator of the sea; not the only one, but the most visible one, (though lately the killer whale and the saltwater crocodile are beginning to muscle in on its’ turf). Yes, we are talking about the great white shark, whose fame was made via the ‘Jaws’ franchise. Yes, the initial ‘Jaws’ novel was based on true events that happened in the U.S. pre-WWI, but as more modern examinations have uncovered, the culprit might’ve been the smaller bull shark instead. Both of these fishes were discussed when we have talked about AFO, so let us try on focusing on the megalodon.

Here is the thing. In real life, in the prehistoric past, megalodon was a shark. A giant shark, but just a shark. In modern times, the sharks are proportionally more fragile than the crocodiles are, because they do not have real bones, but cartilage, and they are not as smart, versatile and adaptable as the killer whales/orcas are. They are formidable fish, but nothing more. And yes, megalodon fed on whales, but preferably on smaller, softer species of the baleen whales; when the bigger, tougher toothed whales, including the ancestors of the modern killer whales and sperm whales appeared on Earth, megalodon began to die out – but that was just one of the reasons why.

Another reason was the climate. Most fictional movies, including mockumentaries, place megalodon in the cold dark depths of the ocean – a proper place for a fictional monster, but in real life megalodon died out because it was a native of more shallow, warmer, tropical seas, (that disappeared when the Panama isthmus formed, BTW, in the Pliocene epoch), and couldn’t handle colder deeper waters, such as at the Earth’s poles, whereas the whales could, because they were warm-blooded – and the same goes, sort of, for the great white shark. It does not really like the cold either, but it is also warm-blooded. No, honest, the scientists have discovered, not so long ago, that while some sharks are cold-blooded, (like the blue shark), the great white shark and its’ cousins – the mako sharks, the salmon shark, and the others – have evolved some sort of a warm-blooded system in their anatomy, maybe because they specialize in warm-blooded prey, such as the marine mammals, or…bony fish like the tuna, which have also evolved to become warm-blooded. Neither the great white shark and its’ immediate cousins, nor the tuna and its’ relatives are really related to the mammals beyond that all the groups are vertebrates rather than invertebrates, but there you have it – and where’s the megalodon?

Elsewhere, it seems. National Geographic’s ‘Prehistoric Predators’ series have done a megalodon-related episode, because, well, duh, it couldn’t be avoided. Fair enough and they showed the genetic mapping of the megalodon, the modern great white shark, and an extinct mako shark, (a relative of the great white). The megalodon located quite some distance away from the two cousins; the mako and the great white had a lot in common with each other; with the megalodon…much less. Ergo, the megalodon was not warm-blooded, and it could not survive in cold waters, so…no megalodon in real life. What is left?

A movie monster. Judging by the trailer, ‘The Meg’ is going to be yet another monster movie, combining both horror and lighter, more tongue-in-cheek, humor. Fair enough, maybe it won’t be so bad, but why make it look like a great white? For a while, there was a ‘Beast Legends’ show on History, which featured a monster shark of its’ own, the Dakuwanga, (or something similar), which was a mythical monster, a shapeshifter that could become a shark, a man, or a sea snake. (We are talking the real life sea snakes, not the giant sea serpents of myths and legends). They based their sea giant on the bull shark instead of the great white, so why not do that with the megalodon instead? Fossil animals are defined by their fossilized bones, (duh), but the megalodon was a shark, it had no bones, but cartilage, and cartilage fossilizes much worse than bones do, so what we have from megalodon, (and the other fossil shark species), are mostly teeth, and again, they aren’t very similar, the teeth of a great white shark and a megalodon…so why make the movie/fictional megalodon an oversized great white shark? Who knows…?

Well, this is it for this time; see you all soon in the future, (hopefully)!

S.H.I.E.L.D. 'Inside Voices' - April 7

Misadventures of AoS continue. Last week’s episode was the second lowest; only ‘Life Earned’ was lower, (though not by much). This week’s episode – ‘Inside Voices’ – show why is that: AoS is back being a mess.

For example, the Hintons are back. This time, Robin is still a girl, so she is back to being annoying, rather than insipid, as she was in the future, the older version. That isn’t bad enough, but the last time we saw her and her mother, the Hintons were under the protection of Hunter and Morse – and yet there is no sign of either of them, while Carl Creel fought Ruby, (in this episode, again), with batons, as Morse used to. So, he is what? Some sort of a substitute for Hunter and Morse? I, for example, was never the biggest fan of the HuntingBird duo, but to replace them with Creel? It is simply strange…

This strangeness continues. AoS continues to treat Talbot…vaguely. Sometimes he is a comic relief, sometimes he is certainly not. Again, is it so hard to pick a theme for the character and keep it? In addition, what is his relationship with Creel? In other news, the canon name for his wife is…Carla Talbot, so maybe the good general-brigadier has a fetish? If so, then we certainly go into a strange area, here…and the fact that Coulson has used Hydra’s loaned alien tech to zap himself and Talbot into what had been Canada back in S1, does not help either. Creel now…he seems to have survived his fight with Ruby by going inorganic, and this is important, since he also has acquired a bond with gravitonium. This means what?

On one level, we had a brief cameo of Ian Quinn and Raina, back between S1 and S2 of AoS. In it, however, gravitonium ate Ian, just as Dr. Hall was, back in S1 gravitonium episode proper. This week, gravitonium tried to eat Creel, but general Hale’s minions got him out in time. This makes the gravitonium similar…not so much to Hive, but the Kree monolith that sent people, (including Jemma Simmons) to Hive’s planet. It is also similar to the extradimensional entity that bonded with Whitney Frost back in AC S2 as well, and hey – Raina. Pre-Puerto Rico Raina, to be more precise, meaning that AoS got Ruth Negga to come back, however, briefly. Good for them, and we will wait to see if Ruth will appear in the future AoS episodes, cameos or otherwise. (She is wonderful at the ‘Preacher’, whose third season is coming this year as well).

Anything else? ‘Blindspot’ will return later this April, and as it was pointed out, AoS is still suffering from a morass of a mess. It continues to recycle old ideas and characters with varied effects, and not just from a semi-intentional ‘mix and match’ strategy. They have a general idea of where they are going, but it might not be good enough, especially if Gregg, (Coulson), will be returning to MCU movies in the near future instead. In that case, AoS might have to kill him off…only he already died in this episode, and Creel resuscitated him, so now Coulson and S.H.I.E.L.D. owe Creel one: we’ll just have to see what will come of that, or will AoS just let it go…

Well, this is it for now; see you all soon!

Boulanger's Tree Frog - April 4

…To be brief and to the point: I got my hands on April 2018’s issue of NG; a ‘special issue’, related to race – the human race in general and the various human races (‘colors’? Sorry, if this is the wrong word, but somehow it sounds so appropriate) as well. And?

It is a masterfully done piece of everything, doing its best to be politically correct, factually accurate, repentant of the past deeds and etc. And yet there is a pinch of tar in that jar of honey, and it concerns a frog.

The frog is this month’s endangered animal, featured in NG. It is named ‘Boulanger’s Tree Frog’, and I decided to look it up. The search engines produced nine major frog species that have the name, and one species of tree-dwelling lizards that is also associated with Boulanger – and yet none were a perfect fit to NG’s frog, (to say nothing of the lizard).

So, I looked up its’ Latin, scientific name – Rhacophorus lateralis – and this time I found the mysterious amphibian: it is known as Boulanger’s Tree Frog, but also as the small tree frog, and also – as the winged gliding frog. In other words, this frog doesn’t fly as birds, bats and insects do, but it, and the rest of its’ family, has evolved the webbing between its’ fingers into a parachute of some sort. Since the Boulanger’s Tree Frog in NG is a part of this family, it must be able to glide as well. But…

But none of this was mentioned, the focus here was on the amazing rediscovery of the frog, which fit with the determinedly cautiously optimistic tone of the NG issue. Between that tone and the way this frog got handled by NG – well, how its’ facts got handled – I am treating this NG issue with a grain of salt now. This is all.

Good luck to everyone, and see you all soon!