Doolittle-2020 - Jan 23

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. It sucks just because, and your family, as well as yourself, are a part of it. Yes, every new day is different, one way or another, but as a rule – real life sucks. You may want to discuss the long-tailed duck or something, but you cannot, simply because real life sucks, and your personal life sucks, and you suck. Plus – priorities. No matter how much you love nature, sometimes you just cannot master the enthusiasm to write about the ducks, (or the woodpeckers, hedgehogs, squirrels, etc.). So, let us talk about something else – the doctor. He, (i.e. Doolittle), is in the house!

…And apparently, he sucks almost as much as real life does, according to many reviews and critics. They are wrong. ‘Doolittle-2020’ is not bad. It is insipid.

Does anyone remember Marvel’s ‘InHumans’ that’d aired several years back? If not, it is not surprising – the show lasted for a single season, and it numbered only eight episodes. Yes, in the pre-Disney+ era Marvel TV shows didn’t last for more than two or three seasons, (AoS is the exception, period), but even so, ‘InHumans’ stood-out: they were that bad.

And yet… there did not appear to be something that was specifically damning that prevented them – in theory – from continuing from another season or two. (Marvel’s ‘Runaways’ ended after 3 seasons, for example). Instead, it was an entire assimilation of small flaws, including bad script and rushed acting that did Marvel’s ‘InHumans’ in. In different hands, under different management and circumstances, they could have been good, but because real life, they failed to launch instead. ‘Doolittle-2020’ is in the same boat, even though it is a single film and not a TV series instead.

On one hand, it had a lot going for it, actually, starting with the Iron Man being the titular character and a story plot that sounded good on paper. On the other, with such an illustrious name playing the main lead in a film that just couldn’t be anywhere near the level of the last two Avenger films, (let’s be honest – even in the best of circumstances ‘Doolittle-2020’ wouldn’t be anywhere near the level of ‘Infinity War’ and ‘Endgame’), enough people would feel gipped, as if this was a step down or something – and they were probably right.

 …And top of those failed expectations and the subconscious feeling of being cheated out of something that is Avenger-level film, the film itself is flawed, let’s be polite. The plot felt rather like Stark’s new Welsh accent – completely unnecessary and a straight-out failure. Queen Victoria is poisoned, so Stark – er, Doolittle – is off to bring back the miracle cure? What is this – the Avengers, Victorian era? Well, maybe – we did also get Sony’s current version of Spider-Man voicing a dog, so it could have been a start. Instead, we got a failure with a bunch of grown-up jokes in a decisively pro-child film, (children under the age of 10 will enjoy ‘Doolittle-2020’ moreso than their parents, yes), the titular character farted by a dragon, (what is this – mockery of GoT? If so, then ‘Doolittle-2020’ is excessively late for this party), and, oh yes, a gorilla fighting a tiger, (sort of) among other things.

Off topic, if a gorilla fought a tiger for real, who would win? In AFO, when a gorilla faced-off with a leopard, it actually won, but a tiger is much bigger and heavier than a leopard is and carries a much heavier punch than a leopard does. In a feline clash, tiger will triumph over a leopard, as ‘Jungle Book-2016’ showed openly and clearly – even though it is fiction, it actually did a good job of being realistic, at least to a point. But a gorilla is completely different beast than a leopard is. A tiger is a professional hunter and killer, but if it fails to get a drop on the modern world’s biggest and strongest primate, period, then it can go either way – and, of course, ‘Doolittle-2020’ went in a completely different direction to begin with. What next?

Well, for me, Chee-Chee the gorilla brought back memories of the Soviet adaptation of Doolittle, (where Chee-Chee was actually a capuchin monkey instead). To wit, this adaptation consisted of one large poem where the Soviet Doolittle went to Africa to cure all the cute animal babies there, because they all were sick; and of another large poem, where the good doctor comes to Africa to rescue a couple of human children from the Soviet analogue of Rassouli; and also a couple of novellas for children where the good doctor crosses swords with the pirate leader time and again, until he defeats the villain for good. Not such a small assimilation, especially by children’s standards, after all.

…And then the Soviet cinematography produced a cartoon series, and a couple of movies, all about the good doctor confronting the wicked pirate and his crew, and frankly, one of them, ‘Soviet Doolittle-66’ is just as crazy, but much more coherent and enjoyable than the U.S. 2020 version. Not unlike the gender-flipped ‘Ghostbusters’ reboot, ‘Doolittle-2020’ is just bad as in uninspiring and insipid, which brings us back to Marvel’s ‘InHumans’ TV series – they had the same problem and collapsed, though compared to them, ‘Doolittle-2020’ is better, (and it is certainly better than ‘Cats-2019’, cough), simply because the younger children will enjoy it with all the poop and fart jokes as well as periodic clothing, and, hey, the Iron Man is riding an ostrich in this universe, while a giraffe is talking to him in voice of Selena Gomez. Fun! Anything else?

Well, the second ‘To all the boys…’ movie is coming out on Netflix on Feb 12, 2020. Why before 2020’s Valentine Day – who knows; who cares, too – while the first film had its’ flaws, clearly, the entire franchise has proven to be tough, enduring and popular enough to bring forth a second movie. (Jenny Han wrote a trilogy about LJ’s adventures, so there is at least one more movie in store for LJ and her love life). By comparison, ‘Crazy Rich Asians’ franchise apparently hadn’t – so far there’s no news about a second movie in this franchise; maybe because it tried to be a pro-American propaganda piece among other things back when it aired and ‘Boys-1’ didn’t? Who knows, but ‘Boys-1’ was a very good romantic movie, surprisingly so, given all the flaws of both it and the original novel…but it was not insipid. It delivered. It gave enjoyment to the views. It made real life slightly more endurable than it is on its’ own. I am actually looking forwards to ‘Boys-2’ coming to Netflix next month. Yay.

…This is it for now, see you all soon!

Captain Marvel I - Sep 18

So, to sum it up. The lousy week is over. In the future, there are many weeks like that one – my life sucks, as I am repeatedly reminded by it, but conversely, lives of many other people suck even worse; those caught in the path of the now-gone hurricane Florence, for example, or those who work for SeWi in the world of tennis – they aren’t enjoying themselves either, so everything, (and everyone?), is relative…

Onto more pleasant things? I can now give life the finger – for the moment, life is good, so there is that. There’s also the new ‘Captain Marvel’ video trailer, and-

And it is something else – purposefully so, but still. It appears to be focused on the life and times of the titular character, who – before she became a superhero – was an Air Force pilot; it was apparently her dream, metaphorically speaking. Or is it allegorically? Regardless, the trailer shows that she was a resilient, tough, determined girl and became an even more resilient, tough, determined woman by the time that the events of the movie will appear. Good for her, though the choppy delivery of that statement could have used some work.

In other news, there are brief glances of younger Fury and Coulson, of Kree and Skrull aliens appearing on screen. Sadly, they are there only for appearances – in this trailer – and do not really contribute to it at all. I hope that this state of things will change in the future, however. Anything else?

‘Venom’ the movie is coming on October 5, this year, so there is that. ‘Iron Fist’ S2 has come and gone, (metaphorically speaking), so bully for it. Carol Danvers rocked her trailer in any of her superhero suits, so it will be interesting to see her properly in her film. It will be good to see Nick and Phil too, though. A: IW film showed Fury and Hill to be those among the dusted, while AoS’ S5 had Phil finally retire, with May, due to a number of factors, especially – his failing health. It is possible that he and May will be back in AoS’ S6 (or any future seasons, that is still possible), but for Gregg who plays him, and for MCU, ‘Captain Marvel’ movie has priority…

…This would be a good time and place to discuss the ‘Me Too’ developments back in the real world, but the mood is not right. Yes, there is already officially admitted backlash to the movement, but talking about it feels rather like kicking an ailing horse now, so maybe we will talk about it – or something else – at another time instead.

…So, this is it for this time; see you all soon!

Iron Fist S2 - Sep 11

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. My upcoming week promises to be rather bad, so I actually cannot wait for next week’s Monday, because it will give me a reprieve. Go me. My life sucks. I hate it.

…Of course, on the other hand, there is the first-rate tennis player SeWi, who has it worse. To recap, she lost her match against her fellow tennis player N. Osaka, and apparently turned upon the game’s umpire when things did not go her way – and lost her temper. As a result, she is now fined almost 20 grand, (as I have heard), the tennis officials are backing the umpire, (so she now might need to apologize – or not), and there already are some rather crude and unpleasant caricatures of her, too, damaging her reputation further. Yeah, and she cannot blame her bad decision of D.C. and the president Donald either. Poor her. Really.

Mind you, as much as I believe that SeWi is in the wrong here, it must be admitted that the caricatures, (there were at least two different ones), were completely unnecessary, and probably made the already bad business worse. SeWi and her people are probably doing their best at damage control, and the caricatures are making their job harder. One may hate SeWi, (though why? She is not a politician, at least), but still, to go at her deliberately is not a good thing. Hate leads to the dark side, the Jedi said, and they should know: the SW/Disney merger was apparently completely in the dark, it remained in the dark regarding the SW fanbase, and now the merger became successful at alienating that fanbase: some of its’ members honestly do hate it, and will probably abandon it, a new cartoon series or not.

This brings us to another merger – that of Netflix/Marvel. More precisely, ‘Iron Fist’ S2 was aired. How did it go?

It worked. The Netflix/Marvel combo took criticisms of ‘Iron Fist’ S1 and did their best to fix them. So far, it seems that their strategy is to take an ever-increasing amount of ‘Iron Fist’ comic elements and introduce them to ‘Iron Fist’ in particular (and maybe to ‘The Defenders’ in general). Yay?

Very much so. This is, after all, what all of the Marvel shows are about – to give their audiences the Marvel experience that the various comics (and novels) cannot. Otherwise, what is the point? There are plenty of non-Marvel TV shows, (some are not even in related to DC or other comic universes either), so to counter them a Marvel show, (TV, online, etc.,) has to use, well, Marvel elements. Moreover, it worked. Go them.

Anything else? Not really. ‘Iron Fist’ S2 shows that the Netflix/Marvel shows are diversifying and are going beyond the NYC city limits, at least partially. ‘Iron Fist’, the comic and the online series, for better or for worse, is caught between USA and Asia, and it needs to balance between these two landmasses to succeed.

…One may ask, if ‘Luke Cage’ is not similarly caught between USA and Africa. It is not – ‘Luke Cage’ is solidly Afro-American, with the emphasis on American, and while he – and Misty Knight, and a few others – can always come to Africa, especially to Wakanda, on request of their good friend king T’Challa aka the Black Panther, their homeland is still USA. (Seriously, this is what happened in one ‘Black Panther’ comic series: at one point in time a group of super-villains, including – a version of the Fenris twins, tried to take over Wakanda by fermenting internal political unrest, so the Black Panther realized: this is bigger than me and my family, and so he got his posse, which included Ororo/Storm, Misty Knight, and – Luke Cage, aside from other characters, and defeated the villains…eventually).

…Yes indeed ‘The Gifted’ S2 is returning to TV on Tuesday, September 25^th. I must admit - this is good news, and the current trailer is already exciting; the lines are drawn: the Mutant Underground vs. the Hellfire Club and Lorna is, potentially, the wild card. Magneto was never a member of the Hellfire Club, the Cuckoos have lied to get Lorna in, and if she ever finds out, the results will be explosive: Magneto was powerful, but never subtle, and Lorna seems to have inherited that. She will not be happy to have been lied to, that is for sure.

On the other hand, ‘The Gifted’ S2 trailers seem to imply that the Hellfire Club will undergo some sort of an W&H (from AtS) moment, which involves an internal coup. If done right, it will be a game changer, but to do that, ‘the old guard’ who will be killed off should be established first, otherwise the coup’s impact will be diminished.

…Yes, this all takes place in different Marvel universes: ‘The Gifted’ takes place in a separate universe – Earth-TRN674, while ‘Iron Fist’ – on Earth-199999. I have no life, (but this week, and especially the weekend still suck). Of course, it would make a cool crossover, but we will have to wait for someone to write it, so for now, we have to watch ‘Iron Fist’, and wait for ‘The Gifted’ S2, and also – for ‘Daredevil’ S3, which is also in the works. Unlike ‘Iron Fist’, ‘Daredevil’ so far takes places only in NYC, so for now, ‘The Defenders’ focus will be shifting back to NYC, leaving the rest of the world for the Avengers or whoever.

Yes, it does not appear that Thanos’ cosmic snap has affected the Netflix corner of MCU, (and as it was hinted at ‘C&D’ S1 finale, ‘Rands’ & ‘Starks’ share the universe – and Roxxon, and ‘C&D’ are also a part of that universe. However, some kinks are still needed to be worked out – so good luck with that.

This is it for now, see you all soon.

Pathfinder & real life - Aug 24

Real life sucks. In this particular instance, the suckage began when we were finally wrapping up our Pathfinder adventure path – the giants’ one – when one of our members proclaimed that Pathfinder the franchise was undergoing a reboot.

That is nothing new in the world of RPG; D&D, for example, has went through at least five reboots/editions, and does not appear to be stopping, not yet. For Pathfinder to go through a second, or a third, reboot is not unnatural or anything like that, it is only the question of whether we will continue to play it. We are going through the official playtest manuals/adventures/etc., and it does not feel as good as the previous edition, so maybe we will tone down our involvement with Pathfinder in the future.

…And don’t try to talk about loyalty; all too often, for various RPG franchises, loyalty is translated into sinking money into their property – whether it’s D&D, Pathfinder, SW, (yes, that one), or something much more obscure, such as ‘space 1889’ (or whatever it is called). As long as people are investing money, time and effort into an RPG, they are loyal to it, the end. When they stop, they are not loyal apparently anymore. Also the end and it is very hard to make a debate about an RPG, even if you do not have much of a life, (as I do).

Anything else? Apparently, there’s a petition going around about not making Zendaya the next ‘Little Mermaid’ in case Disney will a make a live adaptation of that animated classic too. Sigh.

Listen, when it comes to race in the movies, ‘nose goes’, as says Aru Shah. Everyone is singing accolades for the LJ Netflix movie, and no one cares that Lana Condor, who plays LJ, is Korean-American, whereas in the novels LJ was half-Korean half-American instead. Vietnam and Korea are as different as, say, U.S.A. and France are, yet no one is making a big stink about it in regards to the LJ film, while KMT, Rose Tico, another Vietnamese-American actress, was dragged through the mud… How is this for (in) consistency?

…Now while we are talking about Zendaya, let us talk about ‘Spider-Man’ and the rest of the MCU. It isn’t surprising that with Spidey away, Zendaya cannot play the role of Michelle Johnson in MCU, (and yes, Marvel has blinked there, it’s a different MJ, cough), so she is potentially free for other roles, even ones associated with Disney – and this brings us to the A:IW film.

Let us take a brief look at the roster of the dusted characters there. Bucky Barnes – a divisive, controversial character: some people love him, some hate him, and all are vocal. Wanda the Scarlet Witch – ditto. Black Panther… he was championed as some sort of an African champion and was this amazing movie milestone, until people began to proclaim him to be instead, an idealized Afro-American stereotype, an appeaser, and a conformist…basically, what Killmonger was accusing him of being. The hype died quickly after that. Ditto for ‘Asians’ – now they are proclaimed mainly as a movie success and nothing more, which is fairer for them, but still… And Spider-Man, who is already divisive – and not as a character. Rather, the rights to his franchise are owned, co-owned, by both Sony and Marvel, and even as the ‘Homecoming’ film was being made, people learned that Sony and Marvel do not get along all the time. Now, the ‘Venom’ film is coming in 2019, and even trailers it is said that the film is made in association with Marvel, not as a part of it. Odds are, before Spidey returns to the big screen, Sony and Marvel will need to work their issues first.

As for divisive, controversial characters… Disney/MCU is quietly getting rid of it all controversial elements, whether it is something more vague, like Hydra, or characters, such as Bucky and Wanda, or real life people, such as James Gunn. He was supposed to produce ‘GotG Vol 3’ movie, but then got fired because of ‘me too’ related reasons, and… the cast, (and maybe the crew) of GotG franchise rebelled, and it all…ended in nothing: James Gunn is still gone, (there were negotiations, but apparently they didn’t work), but the movie too is put on hold, and it is shaping to be a lengthy one: how it will affect the next ‘Avengers’ movie, (which also features the GotG), is anyone’s guess.

Now it is still a better approach than the opposite number that had been executed in the SW enterprise by the Disney/SW team – ignoring the criticisms, and calling the fan-critics retrogrades, obscurantists, idiots, trolls and the like. Only now the Disney/SW team discovered that these retrogrades, obscurantists, idiots, trolls and the like are also the SW fan base, and as it falls apart into pieces, there are fewer people who want to give their money for tickets for a SW movie. Disney hates losing money, so again, it is anyone’s guess as to what the SW9 movie will look like. KMT/Rose Tico is going to appear in it, but in what capacity and how exactly is another question.

Anything else? We are trying some of the Pathfinder playtest adventures and do not exactly love it; it feels rather like D&D 5 ed. adventures with a slightly different layout & format. We got into Pathfinder because we did not like D&D 5 ed. in the first place, and now that it is no longer the case, we might have to rethink it, our RPG strategy – but that is life for you.

This is it for this time, see you all soon!

Ant-Man and the Wasp - July 8

‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ movie premiered this month. Wow! It was great.

It was very clever, too. Whenever you talk about MCU and its’ problems regarding the various TV series, (and also online/streaming/torrent series), you may forget that its’ movies are something else, very masterful. This does not mean that they are flawless – when the ‘Black Panther’ came out in February 2018, it was revealed to have its’ own issues, and so does ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’: already there are critics who complain about this or that problem – usually an ‘ableist problem’ – in the movie. Fair enough.

However, what we are paying attention to is that the ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ are separate from the A:IW film; in fact, the movie takes place chronologically before the A:IW film and remains separate from the rest of MCU; in the initial ‘Ant-Man’ movie there was a scene where the titular character fought the Falcon (Sam Wilson) as something of a prequel to CA:CW film, (in which the Ant-Man fought on the side of Cap, rather than Tony), as well as a tie-in. Nothing like that here; yes the Ant family gets affected very severely by Thanos’ titanic finger snap, yet because the Ant-Man ends up trapped in the Quantum realm, (or the Quantum zone, whatever the proper canon name is), it is unlikely that he will be a part of the fourth Avengers’ movie either, because now he has to escape it on his own, and that will take time.

In the previous film, mind, Yellowjacket (Darren Cross) was trapped in the Quantum realm already, so maybe in the next film Scott will encounter Yellowjacket there…just to escape the Quantum realm; right now, Scott just isn’t experienced and powerful enough to do it on his own. It is just as possible, of course, that Ghost and Goliath and the remainder of his friends will do it from ‘this side’, so we’ll have to wait and see as to what the next Ant-Man film will deliver, but!

But the fact that Ghost did not die during the duration of the film, (and neither did Sonny, FYI), marks another notable break from the MCU movie traditions, where villains died, (even Loki did, sob), at the end of each movie. Thanos did not die, but he is Thanos, and besides – the fourth Avengers movie is coming forth eventually, so he will probably die then instead. The Red Skull is back, but so far, he remained below the radar, so there is no indication of the role he will play in the future MCU installments. Killmonger was sang accolades to by the various critics, but he still died, so he is off the table, for now. But Ghost is alive, and unlike Sonny, she has her own ideas and knowledge about the Quantum realm, so now maybe she will play a role in the next, future movie, and that is a notable deviation from the pre-established MCU canon – in the movies, AoS, Netflix series and so forth. (Cough Black Mariah Cough). Go, MCU – you have made several breakthroughs here without anyone apparently realizing it!

Pause. Ghost’s fate was the first breakthrough, and the second-?

Back to the Ant-Man and the Quantum realm. By staying in the Quantum realm, the Ant-Man will avoid being drafted, (or re-drafted) by the Avengers to go onto their Happy Thanos Hunt, and as such his adventures will continue to present a separate plot line that regardless follows the main plot of MCU, all of its’ phases, so to speak. MCU tried to do so in AoS, by making it the supplement show to its’ movies, but it didn’t work – from the second half of S2 onwards, (or maybe even from the very beginning, the very first season), AoS went all over the place in regards to its’ own plot and script, so now, this second attempt, via movies, is much better! Anything else?

‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ is a fun movie. Maybe it is not very deep, the ‘Black Panther’ film got a different reception from it, but this is okay. People are enjoying it, and this is still miles better than ‘Solo’, the Disney hybrid with SW rather than Marvel. Go team Marvel/Disney!

Oh, and one another thing. There’s no particular political correctness in it, (though the ‘Screen Junkies’ on YouTube claimed that Luis, introduced in the first ‘Ant-Man’ movie was the first Latino-American character in MCU, and now he’s also back), unlike, well, ‘C&D’, which recently aired a clip where Ty is getting beat-up by several of his Anglo-American classmates…

Another pause. Here is the thing. Ever since the Donald became the president, the various media-related companies, organizations, etc., grew increasingly stringent because ever since his election as such, they were shown the actual limits of their power over the American society – and they do not like it. They do not like it, and ever since the 45^th presidential election, they have done their best to prove that this is not so, they are the top power in the U.S. society – but they are not. All of their attempts to prove otherwise ultimately fail, but in the process of these failures they are making the American society ever worse – and ‘C&D’, (remember how Marvel™ has distinctively distanced itself from this duo now?), is one of their attempts. Fine, yes, ‘C&D’ is trying to reveal the ulcers of the modern society, both gender and racial inequality. Fine. How do C & D, Ty & Dy, fix it? ‘C&D’ has already spent about half of its first season just setting them up – setting all of the characters up, and by now many of them are still cardboard clichés, in one way or another; they may make most of their villains heterosexual Anglo-American men, but how does that make real life America a better place? Rather, ‘C&D’ and similar TV shows are provoking further conflicts, all the way up to potential pogroms, (regardless of color of both sides)… ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ movie avoids all of that, so congratulations to them for it too. The movie does have people of color in it, including Ghost herself, but while they are not in the main roles – not yet – neither are they diminished, not really. Go, team Marvel™, again! No wonder it seems to disassociate itself from ‘C&D’… Good for Marvel™, it seems…

Well, this is it for now; see you all soon!

PS: Here is a choral angel with a broken soul template, from Pathfinder Bestiaries. How does it look?

BROKEN SOUL CHORAL CR 8

XP 2,400

NE Small outsider (angel, evil, extraplanar)

Init +7; Senses darkvision 60 ft., detect evil; Perception +16

Aura protective aura

DEFENSE

AC 19, touch 14, flat-footed 16 (+3 Dex, +9 natural, +1 size)

hp 116 (8d10+72)

Fort +6, Ref +9, Will +9; +4 vs. poison, +4 resistance vs. evil

DR 5/-; Immune acid, cold, petrification; Resist electricity 10, fire 10, sonic 5; SR 17

OFFENSE

Speed 30 ft., fly 50 ft. (good)

Melee slam +10 (1d3+1)

Ranged piercing hymn +12 touch (4d6 sonic plus deafened)

Special Attacks agonized wail (DC 19), baleful gaze (DC 19), countersong, harmonize, torturous touch (DC 19)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 8th; concentration +11)

Constant—detect evil

At will—aid, ghost sound (DC 13), dispel evil (DC 18), dispel magic, invisibility (self only), plane shift (self only), remove curse, remove disease, remove fear

3/day—cure moderate wounds, sculpt sound (DC 16), sound burst (DC 15)

STATISTICS

Str 13, Dex 16, Con 21, Int 16, Wis 14, Cha 17

Base Atk +8; CMB +8; CMD 21

Feats Alertness, Diehard (B), Endurance (B), Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Toughness

Skills Acrobatics +14, Diplomacy +14, Escape Artist +11, Fly +20, Knowledge (planes) +14, Knowledge (religion) +14, Perception +16, Perform (sing) +14, Sense Motive +16

Languages Celestial, Draconic, Infernal; truespeech

ECOLOGY

Environment any good-aligned planes

Organization solo, duet, or Ensemble (3-8)

Treasure standard

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Countersong (Su) A choral can attempt a Perform (sing) check to counter magic effects that depend on sound. This ability functions as the bard ability of the same name.

Harmonize (Sp) When chorals work together, they can use their complementary voices to create mystical harmonies. Two or more chorals within 60 feet of one another can use calm emotions or heroism as a spell-like ability, four or more chorals can use shout, and six or more chorals can use greater heroism or holy word. Only the choral that actually casts the spell-like ability in question must take a standard action to achieve this effect—the other chorals need only take swift actions during the same round.

Piercing Hymn (Su) As a standard action, a choral can launch a concentrated blast of sonic energy from its mouth as a ranged touch attack. This attack has a range of 90 feet with no range increment and deals 4d6 points of sonic damage. Any creature struck by a piercing hymn must succeed at a DC 17 Fortitude save or be deafened for 1d4 minutes. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Mowgli 2018 - May 22

And so, Andy Serkis will be delivering yet another version of ‘Mowgli’ the movie in this year, (2018). What can be said about it?

Judging by the trailer that we have seen so far, it is basically a reboot, or a derivative, of 2016’s ‘Jungle Book’, albeit one where humans, as opposed to CGI animals, play a greater role. It still is not like the 1990s ‘Mowgli’ film, which was basically a version of Tarzan, just set in India/Asia, rather than Africa, but still. It might be closer to Kipling’s initial anthologies rather than the original Disney animated movie, so that it something of an improvement over the 2016 movie, but somehow, the first trailer at least, is highly reminiscent of that film, so we just have to wait and see before forming any conclusions first. What next?

The (CGI) animal cast remains largely the same, save for the addition of one new character – Tabaqui, or whatever his name is. In the original anthologies, he was a jackal who followed Shere Khan, as jackals sometimes follow tigers in real life. Here, in this trailer at least, he looked more like a hyena, and that is weird.

Here is why. Firstly, hyenas are not really related to jackals and other wild dogs; they are more closely related to cats, including the great cats such as lions, tigers, and leopards, (panthers). Secondly, hyenas are much bigger than most wild dogs, especially the spotted hyena, featured in ‘The Lion King’ franchise, but like most hyenas, it lives only in Africa; the only hyena species that is found on both African and Asia continents is the striped hyena instead. And-?

And while it is smaller than the spotted hyena is, it still a large animal, and is no more a scavenger than, well, a grey wolf would be. Sure, it does not let carrion go by, especially if it is hungry, but it is not a professional scavenger. Neither is the jackal, of course, but lives more like a fox than a wolf or a coyote, so Tabaqui is shaping to be some sort of a zoological chimera already, and as for the ‘Jungle Book’ itself, we’ll have to wait and see, again, if this version of Mowgli defeats Shere Khan, (who, here, is lame, rather than one-eyed as he was in 2016), by having a herd of water buffalo trample him in a ravine, as it happened in the canon. In the 2016 movie, Mowgli defeated Shere Khan with fire, in a manner reminiscent of Disney’s earlier animated Mowgli films, so we got options.

We also got Kaa who is female, again. Why? In Kipling’s novels, Kaa was male; White Hood the cobra might have been female, but probably not. The only female characters in the Jungle Book novels were Mowgli’s mother, the Mother Wolf, and his love interest, (who appeared only briefly at the end, when Mowgli became a man). So, why change Kaa’s gender? Disney’s animated movie made Kaa a male, so why change him to her in 2016, and why not change back now? Nobody knows… The fact that Serkis’ film is trying to be both different from the 2016 movie and yet basically do the same thing is not very impressive. Or rational. Or sane. Well, maybe T’Challa and the rest of his Wakandan friends will make a cameo there in the process. They got to do something while the rest of the Avengers figure out how to reanimate them and undo the damage that Thanos did to the galaxy and beyond…

And on a more serious note? The next JW movie is coming on June 22, 2018, so let us first watch it, and then return to Mowgli, (maybe). Until then – see you in the future.

A: IW - May 1

Where to begin?

Firstly, because real life is sometimes sucky, sometimes crazy, and sometimes – stupid, I made a mistake regarding Thanos, Loki and co. the last time we talked. Thanos did kill Loki in public, perhaps to make a point within the MCU, perhaps to make a point without, but kill Loki he did, blatantly and in public too. Poor Loki, but – the point still stands. MCU, in general, has experienced the biggest loss of characters ever, and while they can be brought back, actors – from the real life’s side of things – are something else. ‘Thor’ franchise is especially notorious of that, as Sif, Jane Foster, Dr. Selvig, to a lesser extent Odin, the Warriors 3, and now – Heimdall too – have all vanished from the MCU, leaving ‘Thor’ with, well, just Thor, and maybe not even that. It is certainly a potent way of changing the landscape of a cinematic universe, but will the actors be willing to come back, ever? Given the case of Hawkeye, maybe not.

No, seriously, Hawkeye appears very rarely in MCU, if ever. He appeared in the first ‘Avengers’ movie, in ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ movie, and in ‘CA: CW’ film…and this is it, I believe. If he’d actually died back in ‘Ultron’ it would make more sense and less disrespectful/dismissive to the MCU fans, but here is what we have; in A: IW1, we get no Hawkeye, again. Ditto for the Ant-Man, of course, but he and the Wasp are coming forth with their own film now, fighting the Ghost, and this is important, because the Quantum Zone is mentioned in that trailer, and this may be where all the missing people have ended up at…or not. Maybe Thanos succeeded completely and everyone died instead. Either way, we will get more clarification about this in the future Marvel movies…hopefully.

Speaking of trailers… the ‘Venom’ trailer has appeared in April 2018 too, and it is going to be an origin movie on one hand, and does not have any Venom-Spidey interactions on the other, which is strange, since Venom is one of Spider-Man’s worst rivals. Yet, if Spider-Man is stuck in the Quantum Zone, then he cannot interact with Venom, (let us presume so, anyhow), so no Spider-Man in this Venom movie, anyhow. Bully for him!

Anything else? Again, it is unknown just how AoS and its S5 plot fits into the greater MCU, in the current case – into the Infinity War plotline. Right now, General Talbot has become a Graviton-like figure and is going to save the world by killing the alien ninjas, because this is who the current aliens are – ninjas of some sort, and not even Kree, because none of them are blue…and some people still wonder as to why AoS’ numbers are so low. AoS just does not fit into MCU anymore, not since the second half of its second season, most likely, and where does it leave them?

Well, so far it seems that the S5 finale is the season’s finale, not the series’, so there’s probably some sort of a S6 somewhere in the works…eventually. Considering that Coulson (and his actor) are appearing in the upcoming ‘Captain Marvel’ movie too, that theoretical season will be Coulson-light, because of split priorities, you know?

…Anything else? No, not at this time. For the moment, real life has stabilized itself, so let us enjoy it. Until the next time – see you then.

S.H.I.E.L.D. 'Option Two' - April 28

This week’s episode of AoS was aired yesterday. In more exciting news, the ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ part 1 movie was aired yesterday too. What shall we talk about first?

One thing that connects the two – aside from the Marvel logo – is, or rather are, Hill and Fury. These former leaders of S.H.I.E.L.D. appeared in A: IW1 post-credit scenes. What we need to focus on here, passing the potential spoiler situation, is the fact that they are still out and about in MCU at large, so…why haven’t they visited their friend Phil Coulson and the remainder of S.H.I.E.L.D. at the Lighthouse? Fury appeared only in AoS S1, Hill – in S1 and 2, but still, if their actors still star in MCU features, why not on AoS? AoS seems to be bleeding actors still, but-

But the same may be said about MCU too? A: IW1 had Thanos kill Loki, Heimdall and Valkyrie, apparently, since they do not appear in the movie. Why? And how? And how come?

…Yes, Loki has practice at pretending to die, and so he may have had Thanos fooled, and rescued Valkyrie and/or Heimdall and some other Asgardian refugees, but again, couldn’t this be featured in the movie? And as we know, Loki did work for Thanos, so why would Thanos kill him now? Because of the initial failure? Maybe, but again, it could have happened on-screen, especially if this just the first half of a duology.

Dead aliens bring us back to AoS. General-brigadier Talbot, of all people, fused with gravitonium in this episode and killed the alien invaders. Pause. The aliens of ‘Option Two’ – this week’s episode – weren’t even Kree; just some crazy alien ninjas that could generate their own clouds of darkness, were resilient to ordinary bullets and armed with kunai, rather than katanas; the latter were used by Mack and May instead. Since when does S.H.I.E.L.D. use katanas? Since they have tried to rip-off ‘The Defenders’, it seems.

‘The Defenders’ deserve a mention of their own, since S2 of ‘Luke Cage’ is coming to Netflix and beyond in summer 2018. S2 of ‘Jessica Jones’ was marked by some interesting twists and turns, including a semi-weak villain storyline, and her resemblance of BtVS’ Faith the Vampire Slayer – but that’s ‘Jessica Jones’. ‘Luke Cage’ is a different story…and another issue that the fans and viewers had with ‘Jessica Jones’ was the lack of reference to ‘The Defenders’ (S1) plotline. Will ‘Luke Cage’ be different? But we must get more information on his S2 first…

Instead, we learn that ‘Cloak & Dagger’ are also coming to TV (Freeform), this summer. By now, we know that the show will take a more spiritual/religious take on the duo than the comics usually do, so S1 of this show will be interesting to watch as well…

None of this is helping AoS though; last week’s episode’s numbers were lower even they were for the ‘Life Earned’ episode. That is just sad, but that is bad luck for you: some time in the last third of S4, AoS reached a point where viewers just were not excited about it anymore, and it shows. Sucks to be it.

…That is it for this week; see you soon!

S.H.I.E.L.D. 'Rise and Shine' - March 31

This week’s episode was called ‘Rise and Shine’. And?

And it was a tense, dramatic episode, focusing on several issues.

One is general Hale’s back history. Apparently though, she was still not given a first name, so let us just call her Catherine, okay? The audience saw her interactions – in a flashback – with Jasper Sitwell, baron von Strucker, Dr. Whitehall and more, which also serves to reintegrate AoS with the rest of MCU. That is important, because a ‘Captain Marvel’ movie is in the works, and it is supposed to feature such already-depicted characters as Ronan the Accuser, and – agent Coulson. In canon, the rest of MCU considers Coulson to be dead, which is fine, since the ‘Captain Marvel’ movie is supposed to be set in the past, before the events set in motion by the ‘Iron Man’ movie series…or some other point in time; we will just have to wait and see how this film fits into MCU-verse.

Back in AoS proper, we had general Glenn Talbot, and it was his time to shine. AoS treats Talbot the same way it treats the rest of its’ characters – without any particular respect, which just muddies the issue. Half the time, Talbot is comic relief and the other half, he is a friend and an ally of Coulson and his S.H.I.E.L.D., and AoS cannot determine which aspect of Talbot is more important to it. The result…for example, in this episode, Talbot acted both heroic and goofy, and the result…he was not convincing as either. Can AoS please pick a theme for him and stick to it?

With Coulson, there is no such issue; he is a hero all the way. Ditto his friends/team, though they got about ten to fifteen minutes out of the entire episode, and Deke Shaw was not even in it. Instead, we had Mack helping Jemma with Yo-Yo, and while this isn’t a problem per se, Mack is still an engineer, not a sturgeon, so can he really help Jemma? Or is Henry Simmons, (who plays Mack), and NCB (Yo-Yo) are obliged by their contracts to be in every ep? That would be interesting to know…

Anything else? AoS is dividing its’ cast into good and bad guys, no more shades of grey here. Coulson and his people are good, everyone else is bad, forget the redemption. Mind you, maybe Creel will reconsider, since he and General Talbot used to be friendly, but one should not count on it. After the failed redemptions of Grant and Kara back in S2, (Grant had had something in S4, but it is uncertain if a framework redemption counts), AoS is done with them. Well, bully – now S.H.I.E.L.D. has to stop Hydra, its’ alien allies, (who are probably Kree, rather than Skrulls or Asgardians or anyone else), and everyone else. Except for Thanos, because the Avengers and their allies will stop Thanos instead. Or not, and half of MCU will die, we will just have to wait until the movie itself is released.

…Well, this is it for now; see you all next time!