Saturday, 11 April 2020

Quarantine entry #21 - April 11


Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Fortunately, yesterday, (aka April 10, 2020), we got the ‘Trolls 2’ movie, which offered an escape from reality… into what? Let us disassemble.

First, the disassemble part. Or the dismantling part, if you rather. As soon as the professional critics saw it, they noted the similarity to the last two ‘Avengers’ films, save that the Infinity Stones became replaced by six magical soul strings or whatever, (though still, whoever gets the all six will rule them all). That is one, for Marvel.

Two is for Disney proper, or more specifically – for the ‘Frozen’ franchise. As we talked about the ‘Frozen 2’ movie last year, in this franchise, Disney did a complete reboot – ‘Frozen 2’ fully abandons most of the premises built up at the end of ‘Frozen 1’ and goes off in an entirely new direction, while completely unacknowledging this fact. What reboot? Where? There is no reboot, everything is the same!..

And as for Elsa’s sexuality? Do not go there. Disney gave its’ audiences a teaser with Elsa and Honeymaren, but nothing else. Disney does not intend to officially rock the boat for their blue-eyed blonde breadwinner, and so they leave it to the fans to hype it up – whether Elsa is gay, straight, asexual, bisexual, etc., etc. The Disney execs themselves are not talking. One of them outright claimed, “Elsa herself will tell us whom does she like”! Great, she is a swinger then! …Oh wait, she is an animated character this Disney property. Quit acting coy people and just admit that you want the best of both worlds and do not want to rock the boat at the same time!.. Where were we?

…’Trolls 2’ got nothing like that, this movie is for an even younger audience than ‘Frozen 2’ was, yet just like the ‘Frozen’ franchise, they became fully rebooted. ‘Trolls 1’ was about the titular trolls, who were captured and eaten by some ogres or whatever they were called in the universe. Princess Poppy and her sidekicks (one or several – it does not really matter here), befriended an ogre laundry maid, helped her win the ogre prince’s heart, and freed the rest of the trolls. The end.

‘Trolls 2’ acknowledges none of that; this movie is all about the titular trolls and only about trolls, as ‘Trolls 2’ delivers a politically charged message about unity and self-identity, conquering and domination, good and evil. Pause. ‘Frozen 2’ did it as well, and in a much better manner – i.e. with a good deal less songs. This brings us to number three: ‘Cats -2019’.

‘Cats-2019’ are not the worst movie that came across me; ‘Doolittle-2020’ is not anything worth being smug about. However since it was not a musical, it ended up being just an insipidly unsuccessful movie, that is all. Tony Stark should stick to engineering, and not go into medicine after all, weird accents notwithstanding. ‘Cats-2019’ on the other hand is a musical – it is loud, it is stupid, it is proud, it is overwhelming, and in a large amount – it is intolerable and unendurable. ‘Trolls 2’ went down the same path – it is a glorified musical, or a variety show, about as intense as ‘Cats-2019’ were, and not in a good way either.

…Yes, ‘Trolls-2’ are designated for a younger audience than ‘Cats-2019’ were, (at least in theory), but the delivery method is the same – musical. The end result is still the same, though given the current circumstances, ‘Trolls 2’ came out on digital rental, and not just in the movie theaters, as ‘Cats-2019’ had, so thank the Lord for small mercies. Anything else?

Hard to say; I wanted to talk about this ibis today; the ibis is a cousin to the stork and the heron, differing from them mostly in its’ bill – the heron’s is straight and thin, the stork’s is straight and thick, while the ibis’s is thin and curved down.

Also unlike storks and herons, the ibises are tropical birds: storks and herons are found in Europe, including quite far up north, whereas the ibises are not – only the glossy ibis is found in the U.S., for example, while its’ relatives, including the members of the same genus, are found in the American tropics instead. With the spoonbills, it is the same story.

…The spoonbills are the closest relatives of the ibises, they look like herons or storks, whose bills got squished into spoon-like shapes, (hence the name). They are not very numerous in the U.S. either, nor in Europe – out of six species, only one is found in the U.S., and another on – in the European part of Eurasia. Storks, and especially herons, are represented by more species there. Why is it so? Is it because of humans? Hard to tell, though trolls, and especially – ‘Trolls’ aren’t really a part of it. Ah well, that is life for you. The snow is melting, the birds and other creatures are coming back, and (human social) life may begin to return to normal in May 2020. We will just have to wait and see.

…This is it for now – see you all soon! 

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