Quarantine entry #32 - April 22

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. However, sometimes, it is also insane, and no, I am not talking about G.W., the asshole gunman from Nova Scotia, Canada. Rather, I am talking about the U.S., whose state of Missouri, will be suing the Chinese People Republic, (aka plain old China), over the COVID-19. Do not know what will come out of it, do not know if anything will come out of it, but sue China Missouri does.

In other news, the new installment of ‘Penny Dreadful’ – the ‘city of Angels’ – has aired a couple of days ago; sadly, I’m not the biggest fan of the series, so I’m in position to judge as to whether it will be a good or a bad show, so what is left?

Turtles, really. Last time we talked about squirrels, so this time – let us talk about the chelonians! Pause.

Let us start again. The term ‘turtle’ defines all of the reptiles of the order Testudines, all of which have a bony or a cartilaginous shell that acts as a defensive shield against predators, whether they are sharks or raccoons. However, this order also contains 14 extant groups with 356 species, (currently), and they differ from each other… how?

Firstly, there are ‘turtles’, as in ‘sea turtles’, some of the biggest chelonians that there are, (or were, as in case of the now-extinct Archelon, the biggest chelonian ever, up-to-date). Such reptiles live only in seas and have flippers, instead of feet. The biggest of them, the leatherback, might be the biggest modern chelonian, and the most massive one. All of sea turtles still come ashore to lay eggs, (more about that later, maybe).

Secondly, there are the ‘tortoises’. These chelonians live only on land, almost fully vegetarian, and are the proverbial tortoises, as in ‘Aesop’s fable of the hare vs. the tortoise’. These reptiles have domed shells, can withdraw their heads inside, (while the sea turtles cannot), and were sold as pets quite often during the 20^th century at least. However, they also include such giants as the Galapagos giant tortoise, which is one of the biggest land reptiles of the modern age.

Finally, there are terrapins. As a rule, they are freshwater chelonians, superficially similar to tortoises, but their feet are webbed, and their claws are more adapted for grabbing than for walking; plus, they are much more carnivorous out of the two groups. Technically saying, the snapping turtles are really terrapins, only…

…Only the above-depicted classification aside, the ‘word’ turtle is often used for all of the above-mentioned reptiles, regardless of where they live and what anatomical details are particular to them. This is not just the case of the English language, but in other languages too – ‘Tortuga’ in Spanish, ‘черепаха’ in Russian, and so on. The more scientific analogue of these names is chelonian, so I will try to use it from now on. Anything else?

Hard to say. Of all the reptiles, the chelonians’ behavior is the most primitive, but humans do not care – they eat their flesh and eggs, and out of their shells, they make various household items, such as combs. This sucks, because even by the modern conservative estimates, the chelonians have existed since the mid-Jurassic – i.e., they lived alongside dinosaurs, and have outlived them, (modern birds aside). It would be a pity if they would die-out now, because of pouching, habitat destruction, and introduction of alien species the entire world instead. (As it was in case of the Galapagos tortoises – introduced goats competed with them for food, while rats, cats and dogs ate their eggs and young… on top of humans doing the same thing, cough). Real life may suck, because of COVID-19 and all, but still, let us try to be considerate, shall we?..

…Well, this is it for now; see you all soon!