Quarantine entry #54 - May 14

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, and odds that the U.S.-Canadian borders will not open until mid-summer or so are quite high. What will result from that is anyone’s guess, so let us talk something different. How about… moles?

Now, the word ‘mole’ has several meanings, but we are talking here about the animal ‘mole’. As it regularly happens in the animal kingdom, of course, the word ‘mole’ covers several different groups of animals, so let us begin.

First, the word ‘mole’ is the name of mammals in the Talpidae family of the Eulipotyphla order, and if the latter sounds familiar, you are absolutely right. We have talked about this mammalian order when we have discussed hedgehogs in the recent past; they, shrews, and the ‘true’ moles of Eurasia and North America are related to each other, though the moles are less derived than the hedgehogs and the shrews are, apparently. The solenodons, which also belong to the Eulipotyphla order make the other branch of this order, alongside the now extinct West Indian shrews, (apparently they were a separate family from the other mammals that are called ‘shrews’), so let’s not talk about them.

Now, as it was discussed, shrews look rather like mice, albeit with proboscis-like snouts, while moles look like themselves: their feet are tiny as are their arms; their hands are huge, and have an extra false thumb for digging; their eyes are almost non-existent, but their snouts are long and sensitive. The star-nosed mole (Condylura cristata) of North America deserves a special mention, as its’ snout is not just sensitive, but is equipped with multiple tendrils that make the star-nosed mole’s snout a unique touch organ, giving the star-nosed mole an almost alien look, (especially when seen from the front.

This animal is atypical among the moles, (both ‘true’ and otherwise) in that it is also the most aquatic mole, (there are aquatic shrews, but they don’t count here), as it can hunt in the water as well as underground; and in that it has an unusually long tail by mole standards, making it almost look like a desman.

…A desman is the name of two species of mammals that also belong to the mole family, Talpidae, but live in the water, not underground, and look more like giant shrews rather than moles. This brings us to the shrew moles and the mole shrews.

A shrew mole is a mole that resembles a shrew. Most of such mammals are found in China, but two live in Japan, and the third – in North America. Such mammals look like shrews, with long snouts, long slender tails, (in true shrews they can be quite short, actually), external ears and feet that are not adapted for digging. However, unlike shrews and like the other moles, their skulls have full zygomatic arches, (aka cheekbones), which the true shrews lack.

By contrast, the mole shrews are, well, shrews that resemble moles. They consist of representatives of two shrew genera, Anourosorex, which are found in Asia, and Surdisorex, which are found in Africa, (Kenya). They – and especially the Asian species – look more like moles than shrews, but, apparently, they lack the moles’ cheekbones in their skulls, (see above).

The mention of Africa brings us to the golden moles. In many ways, they are similar to the ‘true’ moles, but they are covered in golden-colored fur, (‘true’ moles are much more drab, usually black or dark brown), and they belong to the Afrosoricida order, which includes them and the tenrecs of the Madagascar, instead.

…From the ecological P.O.V., however, they are very much like true moles, save that their arms and especially hands are tougher, because they burrow not through soil, but sand. Consequently, they do not leave visible tunnels, mounds and molehills as ‘true’ moles do. They are also even more sight-deprived than the true moles are, (I think), because sand in the eyes is even more of an irritant than plain old earth is. Anything else?

Australia is a continent apart, which means that it has its own, marsupial moles, which are – proportionally – more closely related to the koalas and kangaroos that we have discussed earlier than to either ‘true’ moles or golden moles. However, these animals, (there are two species of marsupial moles, FYI), belong to their own order, Notoryctemorpha, within the Australian marsupial superorder; all of their true relatives are extinct. Of all the ‘moles’ mentioned here, these strange little marsupials may be the most adapted to a subterranean lifestyle; they are eyeless, while their noses and the fronts of their faces have shovel-like patches on their faces, for better digging through the sandy soil as well. (The African golden moles have them as well).

Pause. The mole may not look like much, and it does not appear in fiction very often – the best case is Andersen’s fairy tale ‘Thumbelina’, where it is a protagonist of sorts. (Was it Disney or someone else who made it into an animated movie in the 20^th century? The Soviets had made it into a cartoon adaptation instead, much more basic out of the two). In non-fiction, moles usually appear in various guides or, more often, in instructions of how to get rid of them from your lawn. Considering that the moles – like their relatives the hedgehogs – are insectivores that usually eat insect pests, this state of affairs is somewhat sad, but that is real life for you. It sucks, (just look at COVID-19).

…Well, this is it for now – see you all soon!

Quarantine entry #52 - May 12

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Today is May 12, 2020, and so far, neither U.S. nor Canada are making much noise about ending the lockdown/self-isolation/etc. The RF might’ve ended its’ period, for various reasons, but now that Putin’s press-secretary got the COVID-19, I’ve no idea as to what this country will do next, or rather – what this country’s president, aka Vladimir Putin, will do.

…On the other side of the ocean, the Donald is escaping female journalists – remind me, as to why he was not impeached before? Oh, because no one in D.C. really wants it: not the Republicans, and not the Democratic leadership in the person of Ms. Pelosi and co. USA! USA! …When will the lockdown end?

On the other hand, let us talk about something else. How about the koala, since we have talked about the kangaroos previously?

Now, the former is just as much a symbol of Australia as the kangaroos are, but it is very different from them, and I am not just talking about the obvious.

Take, for example, classification. By most conservative standards, there are at least 4 to 6 species of ‘true’ kangaroos, and with all of their cousins, there is a lot more. By contrast, there is only one koala species; it is the last member of a dynasty of specialized eucalyptus leaf-eaters and even by the marsupial standards, this beast is a rather dim bulb. Undoubtedly, it makes up in part for its’ dimwittedness by being so adorably cute, (not unlike Leo Fitz from AoS), but still. Leo Fitz is also a genius, you know!..

Putting AoS aside for now, does the koala have any relatives? Aye, they are called the wombats, and you can see one of them in one of ‘Brave Wilderness’ YouTube videos. The wombats, (I believe that currently there are two or three species of them), don’t look too similar to the koala; in fact, they’re its’ opposites in several important areas – the koala lives in trees, the wombats on the ground, and in burrows; the koalas are very noticeable, while the wombats aren’t so much; the koala hides a nasty temper behind its’ plush toy looks, while the wombat is more placid and can be tamed fairly easily, especially by marsupial standards; but! Their lifestyles are similar, as both the koala and the wombats are solitary, asocial herbivores, whereas the kangaroos small and especially big usually live in family herds instead. Why?

One of the explanations is that the kangaroos are only very distant relatives of the koala and the wombats; the koala might be the very basic model of the marsupial evolution that would eventually lead to the modern wombats, while the kangaroos belong to the second, completely separate branch of the Diprotodont order, and their closest relatives are the possums.

No, you have read it correctly: the opossums are the shy, mostly nocturnal, primarily arboreal marsupials of the American tropics, with just the Virginian opossum living in the North America. The possums that have no ‘o’ before the ‘p’ are their Australian counterparts – small to smallish arboreal marsupials that often are active at night rather than during the day. They do not really look like kangaroos-

-There are tree kangaroos, which look generally like the rest of the kangaroos, but are usually discussed separately from the rest of the roo family. Looks like the kangaroos’ evolution also involved an arboreal stage sometime in the past. Why ‘also’? Because we are coming back to the koala, which is the most arboreal member of its’ family branch of all the members there, living and extinct. The latter includes the marsupial lions, (the Thylacoleo group), and also the Diprotodonts and their relatives – the extinct rhino-sized wombats. Put otherwise, the wombats, the koala and their extinct relatives were the ‘robust’ herbivores, while the kangaroos and their relatives, (including their own extinct giants, such as the Procoptodon), were the speedy ‘gracile’ ones.

…The marsupial lions, of course, are a group apart, and not just because they were the koalas’ closest relatives, (in the past, when there were marsupial lions in Australia, there were also several species of the koalas as well). They were the most efficient and the largest of carnivorous marsupials, much more formidable than the Thylacine, (now also extinct, sadly – at least in the canon), and the Tasmanian devil, (still existing, but clearly needing human help to survive), and that was during the time when Australia’s top carnivores were all giant reptiles – Megalania, (self-explanatory by now), Wonambi, (a giant constrictor snake), Quinkana, (the last of the truly terrestrial crocodiles of Earth), and so on. Put otherwise, unlike the placental mammals, who got rid of their competition fairly quickly, by the end of Eocene or so, the Australian marsupials, (and to a lesser extent – their South American cousins), had to deal with both the giant flightless birds and the last of truly giant reptiles; they are now gone for good, but there are gaps in the Australian ecosystem, and not even the new, introduced, placental species can repair it, (and as the Thylacine situation shows, it can very easily backfire instead)…

Well, this is it for now. It’s due to those gaps and extinctions at the end of the last Ice Age why we have only the kangaroos as authentically large marsupial herbivores – the koala is too specialized a leaf-eater to evolve further, (probably), and the wombats aren’t much larger than the modern badgers are – their giant cousins did all the heavy eating. Ah well, time and tide wait for no man or beast… See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #51 - May 11

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. At least the Asian giant hornet threat has been semi-debunked, as people are beginning to realize that these insects probably will not be invading North America any time soon. Pause. I mean, that they are invading, in a manner of speaking, but not uncontrollably – people have handled them back in 2019, and they can handle them now. What next?

Well, I tried to catch up onto my ‘fiction’, in order to escape reality, and it was a mixed bag. First, I got to watch the SW: CW finale and all I can say is how ‘Solo’ the 2018 movie fits with all of that? As we remember from that Disney/SW flop, amongst other things, it showed that Darth Maul was relatively alive and well at that point in time of SW-verse, and that point in time was closer to the original trilogy than to the Clone Wars series, so hah? What gives? Is Disney/SW no longer in control of their expanded universe? Oh dear, and what with COVID-19 this might CW/’Solo’ be harder to fix than it would be ordinarily.

Second, I watched the last DC animated, straight-to-video, film, and all I can say is ‘hah’? The JLD: A film feels like a reboot/stand alone, rather than a conclusion of a series – it had nothing in common with the initial ‘Justice League Dark’ film, and on the other hand – everyone died. No, not because Darkseid was able to kill them all, (he almost did, with his new Parademon/Doomsday hybrids), but because the Justice League itself did. To wit, this DC universe seems to have been created by the Flash in the animated ‘Flashpoint Paradox’ film, in which the superhero in question tried to save his mother or something, and as a result, an entire new DC-universe was created. Yes, it is also a comicbook adaptation, but the point is that this entire DC animated universe was an ‘Elseworld’, an experiment in ‘what if’/’what could’ve been’, put otherwise. Must admit that is pretty clever – wonder as to what team DC will do next, now that this exercise is over…

Back in the real world, president Putin declared that the RF will begin to return to normal starting tomorrow, May 12, 2020. I knew that the world was going to begin to return normal on this date, but still, given that it is RF, aka Mother Russia, it is only a question of ‘how’ the country will screw it up. It is not a question of intent, it is a matter of consistency – everything in Russia, (especially everything important), is done through the ass. By contrast, the U.S. have only started to utilize this maneuver recently, around 2016 or so, and already, in just 4 short years, they managed to undo many of their achievements in the 1990-2014 time period. Some sort of an anti-record this is, and the RF have been doing it far longer…

…No, it will not be the opposition’s doing – most of them can only criticize Putin’s government and often their styles of doing so are either unimpressive or pitiful. No, it will be the Russian spirit itself that will rise against Putin and make a mockery out of him. Anything else?

Hard to say. On one hand, I wanted to revisit the kangaroos, the real-life alien-looking mammals of Australia, but on the other? I do not know if we have talked about Boba Fett coming to the second season of ‘The Mandalorian’, but apparently, returning to SW he is. Yes, initially he had survived the Sarlacc pit from the SW6 film, cough, but then it all was declared a part of SW: Legends instead, and the SW fandom split… and we have talked about it in the past. In the present, Boba Fett returns to the galaxy far, far away after his Sarlacc-related misadventure after all, so this means that the entire schism of the SW fanbase by the ‘Legends’-related decision had been completely unnecessary and fully avoidable, but Disney wanted to part with the Lucas-connected time period of Lucasfilm™… and it achieved that – hence, the schism. Frankly, real life sucks, and real life humans, (myself included), are hardly any better…

…You know what? For now, this is it. We will talk more about them kangaroos later. See you all soon instead!

Quarantine entry #25 - April 15

Obligatory disclaimer: real life still sucks. Snow still comes, even though it’s mid-April, and the lockdown continues until the middle of May at least. My computer is not doing so well either, so let us talk about something else – mice.

No, not computer mice, but the real life mice in whose honor the computer devices are named. Ergo, what about them?

The term ‘mouse’ is not very scientific; neither is ‘rat’, though technically speaking, a ‘rat’ is bigger than a ‘mouse’ is. As for mice themselves, they are a mixed bag, which consists of…

…'True mice', aka rodents from the Muridae family – the so-called ‘true mice’. Most of those rodents live in the Old World rather than the New, and by the rodent standard they consist of those that humans call ‘mice’, ‘rats’ and ‘gerbils’ to begin with. They feature the house mouse, the Eurasian field mice, and also – the Eurasian harvester mouse, one of the smallest rodents ever.

Closely related to the ‘true mice’ are several species of ‘mice’-named rodents, (such as the American harvester mouse), which, however, belong to the Cricetidae family instead. Most of the Cricetid rodents are identified as hamsters, lemmings, voles… the ‘mice’ from this family live primarily in New World instead. Murids and Cricetids are close relatives, both belong to the Myomorpha suborder of rodents, but they belong to two different families all the same.

The rest of ‘mice’ look much more exotic than the rodents that we usually associated the name of ‘mouse’ with – mice do make popular pets, and even more popular lab animals slash subjects – real life sucks not just for people, but for animals as well. Firstly, there are the ‘mice’ from the Heteromyidae family – these rodents are known as kangaroo mice and rats, and also pocket and spiny pocket mice, and they all look to be slightly more…derived than the ‘ordinary mice & rats’ do. Instead, physically, they appear to be more like miniature kangaroos of Australia instead, although, yes, pocket and spiny pocket mice do look mouse-like, but they all live in the wild, often away from humans, so people aren’t aware of them as much as they are of the kangaroo mice and rats, (and yes, we’ll get to the kangaroos soon as well).

Secondly, there are the flying mice. Now, in such languages, such as Russian, the term ‘flying mouse’ is the local analogue to the English ‘bat’, (remember, we've talked about them earlier as well?), which does look like a mouse with wings, but the ‘true flying mouse’ are more like flying squirrels; if the aforementioned pocket mice and co. belong to the Castriomorpha subfamily, which also features the beavers, (while the muskrat is just an oversized aquatic vole, but that is a different story), then the flying mice are actually ‘scaly-tailed squirrels’ or ‘scaly-tailed flying squirrels’. They, too, belong to a separate suborder – the Anomaluramorpha, and their closest relative is the African springhare, which looks like a kangaroo rat…or just a kangaroo.

This, in turn, brings us to Australia proper – this small continent features not only true rodents, both native and introduced, (which includes the house mouse from the aforementioned ‘true mice’ group), but also the so-called marsupial mice, which aren’t rodents at all, but are marsupials, just as the kangaroos are. Only, while the kangaroos feature the biggest modern marsupials – the red kangaroo, the two greys and the antilopine kangaroo, the marsupial mice are some of the smallest marsupials, and they belong to the Dasyuridae family, which features not only them, but also the infamous Tasmanian devil, and the quolls, which are marsupial ‘cats’, or rather ‘martens’, (real martens are cousins of weasels, FYI). The marsupial mice themselves are carnivores, (while their rodent counterparts are more herbivorous; the flying mice, which are one of the genera of the scaly-tailed squirrels are supposedly food specialists, even), and behave more like shrews rather than true mice, (let us keep the rats out of this equation, shall we?). Consequently, these days, the terms ‘marsupial shrew’ and ‘marsupial mouse’ isn’t used much anymore; the terms ‘antechinus’, ‘dunnart’, and the like instead…

…Well, I must admit – this was informative. I never knew that there were so many different mice, marsupial and otherwise, and that they had even more relatives among both placental mammals and marsupials. They had certainly distracted me from the realization that real life still sucks and that COVID-19 is still going strong through the planet. How about you? Any comments? All criticisms are welcome, and this is for now, see you all soon!

Quarantine entry #23 - April 13

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, though supposedly the worst of COVID-19 in the U.S. is over. Great. Considering that NYC alone has at least one mass grave by now, I am not being overly enthusiastic and optimistic here. Anything else?

…Honestly, I would like to talk about the kangaroos now. Why them? Because they are both real and unique. They are one of the best-known symbols of the Australian fauna, alongside the koala, and they deserve it. There are other jumping mammals in the rest of the continents, but they are smaller than the kangaroos are, on average. Pause.

Strictly speaking, the term ‘kangaroo’, derived from one of the Australian Aboriginal language names for the eastern grey kangaroo, (as opposed to the western grey species), applies to only four species of those mammals: the already-mentioned eastern and western grey kangaroos, the red kangaroo, and the less-known antilopine kangaroo. All the rest of them critters are wallaroos, wallabies, tree kangaroos, potoroos, rat kangaroos, bettongs and so forth. The primary difference between all of those ‘roos is their size – the four species mentioned separately are the biggest, the three genera and the eight species of rat-kangaroos and co. are the smallest, but all of them can jump, (except for the tree kangaroos, I suppose), and they all eat plants. There are rumors that some extinct species of kangaroo were carnivores instead, but they do not surface very often. What next?

…The mention of the prehistoric kangaroos brings us to the last episode of the ‘Monsters Resurrected’ mini-series, one that dealt with the Megalania. It was a giant prehistoric monitor lizard, (in case there is someone who does not know; probably a unicorn), and it fed, among other things, on giant prehistoric ‘roos, such as Procoptodon. From what I can remember, the giant monitor lizard preferred to ambush its’ prey period, venomous bite or not, because otherwise? Its’ chances were more ambiguous, because even modern kangaroos, (I am talking about the big four here), are tough, even against people with firearms, and Procoptodon was even bigger and more massive than they are. Ergo, if the Megalania did not get lucky and Procoptodon could escape or fight back, then things could go in favor of either beast.

Aside from Procoptodon, that episode of ‘Monsters Resurrected’ also featured Diprotodon, a rhino-sized cousin of the modern wombats (there are several species) and the koala, (about one species, but maybe several subspecies), and the marsupial lion, Thylacoleo. Megalania defeated them all, but, again, it is only because the scriptwriters wanted it so. Otherwise… Diprotodon was as big as the modern rhinos are, had a powerful bite of its own, and was even more massive than Megalania was – with a successful counterattack, the giant lizard would be in so much trouble!..

Yes, the modern Komodo dragons kill the water buffaloes that co-exist with them, but, honestly, I feel that there is something artificial about the entire situation. Water buffaloes are not that stupid, and if the Komodo dragons harassed them regularly, the mammals would have figured something out. Instead, I’m guessing, the entire ‘hunt’ of a Komodo dragon for a water buffalo is so disproportionally slow, and when a water buffalo dies, so many dragons feast on it, that it is a completely different situation from water buffalos and tigers in the national parks on Asian mainland, for comparison. That said, Megalania was much bigger than the modern Komodo dragon is, so I am not entirely sure that it worked out in the same way.

As for Thylacoleo… Listen, during the Pleistocene, Australia was home to last truly huge reptiles of bygone ages; aside from Megalania, (aka a giant lizard), there was also Meiolania, (a giant horned tortoise), Wonambi, (a giant constrictor snake) and Quinkana, (the last of the truly terrestrial crocodiles). They all died out as the Ice Age ended; maybe it was because of humans, but as far as humans go, the Australian Aboriginals weren’t all that well-equipped or well-armed to handle a creature like Megalania…which brings us to ‘Monsters We Met’.

This was another mini-series, one aired back in the 90s, a trilogy of human take-over of the planet. There is a companion book too, ‘Land of the Lost Monsters’ (or something similar), and it is much more derived than the original trilogy; the point is that the second episode of ‘Monsters’ was about the human take-over of Australia and their interaction with the native fauna, which featured Diprotodon and Megalania. These depictions were not as good or realistic as they were in ‘Monsters Resurrected’, but the latter was certainly inspired, (at least in regards to this episode), by the former. That aside, in ‘MWM’, the second episode claimed that by using fire-based hunting – aka suddenly start a fire, kill or capture anything that escapes and pick-up the charred corpses afterwards – humans were able to defeat Megalania and its’ kin. Pause.

Yeah, there are the cryptozoologists, who insist that Megalania has survived in Australia even to this day. The same is said about its’ other predators – the marsupial mammals Thylacoleo and Thylacine, (the latter died-out during the European colonization of Australia instead). So far, there is nothing to prove the cryptozoologists right, but there is nothing to prove them wrong either, and it would be interesting to learn that the marsupial lion or wolf survive somewhere out there even to this day. Pause. Let us get back to the kangaroos?

Another pause. Procoptodon, Diprotodon, and similar mammals died out alongside the marsupial carnivores and giant reptiles; whether it was because humans arrived in Australia, the climate changed or something else, but die out they died. The smaller, proportionally tougher marsupials survived… in a manner of speaking. Last year, (or in 2018?) Australia was marked by some monstrous fires, even humans barely survived them, and Australian wildlife suffered even more; people had to help them survive, both professionally and on the spur of the moment; even so, quite a few mammals, (including the koalas), died. Did I mention that real life sucks? If so, then sorry, but that incident seems to have been forgotten already, because of the COVID-19 and all. Humans have really short memories, it looks like…

…Well, this is it for now. See you all soon!