AAA ' Familiar' - Oct 17

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. In addition, what about AAA? Oh, bother…

First, TT is Willy Kaplan rather than Billy Maximoff; apparently, the spirit of Billy has merged with Willy (William) and now the MCU Pokefusion is searching for Wanda’s other boy, i.e. Tommy. (Speed in the comics). Such a twist, such brilliant writing!.. But, seriously, the way that AAA has been connecting and attaching itself to WV, showing itself to be WV’s sequel now, rather than just a spinoff, is impressive – one of the more impressive bits on this week’s episode, ‘Familiar’. Not that the bar is very high, either, but still…

Aside from the tie-in to WV, ‘Familiar’ reveals that – drumroll, please – MCU’s Willy/Billy is not just homosexual, but also Jewish! Given that Judaism is treating its sexual minorities not as favorably as the modern Western society does, this is ambiguous, and might be one of the reasons as to why AAA isn’t being showcased by the news/media too much, unlike how WV had been.

Willy/Billy himself is ambiguous as a character, but this is not too new – in DC, the Penguin is sometimes shown to have Jewish roots; Kaley Cuoco’s ‘Harley Quinn’ cartoon and the live-action ‘Gotham’ TV series had been some of the more prominent ones. The current ‘Penguin’ TV series does not go there too much, which is fine – it is a crime drama first, and everything else, including the DC comic elements, second.

In Marvel, meanwhile, we had the M.O.D.O.K. of Earth-1226, who was also Jewish, and who is a villain too, not unlike the Penguin, (but in a different style completely). As it was written before, (now this show ended, after a single season), does the global Jewish community really need to have ambiguous or outright evil, characters featuring their faith? Given the RL events in the Middle East right now, (October 2024), probably not.

…Mind you, what is happening in the Middle East right now has nothing to do with the post-Protestant neo-pagan Western society of our times; it is Eastern monotheism, pure and simple: the descendants of Abraham’s sons, the legitimate Isaac and the discarded Ismail are going to war once again, and the West… doesn’t really want to get involved; the U.S., whose own geopolitical interests are at stake there, probably has to do something, but the elections-2024 are prioritized, and so it doesn’t do anything. The other Western countries do not even try.

Is what Israel is doing in other countries, (such as Lebanon) right and proper? Possibly not, but they do not care; their government certainly does not. Can the other – Western – countries interfere? Quite so, but it would cost them, and the consequences would be unpredictable as well, and so they do not. Especially when there is money to be made off the RF/Ukrainian conflict instead.

Back to AAA, it also… serves as a mirror of the contemporary Western society, discussed above. The rest of Agatha’s new coven are gone, one-way or another, (Rio does not count, she got plot armor, most likely), but neither Willy/Billy nor Agatha herself care about it; they are going on their journey together regardless.

One might say that TT does not care about Alice and co. because he only wants to find Tommy. Jolly good; now re-watch the ‘Dr. Strange 2’ movie to see how well this mindset served Wanda herself in her quest to find her twins; now, to add insult to injury, AAA shows that at least one of her own twins has been on the same Earth and plane of reality as she was, and her entire mess with America Chavez wasn’t as necessary as it appeared to be. Yay.

Agatha, meanwhile, is reprising her role in WV – a witch-opportunist. She, apparently, had buried the rest of her new coven, and is now doing with Willy/Billy mostly the same thing that she tried to do with his mom in WV – stringing him along while waiting to backstab him as well. Character development for Aggie-poo? That is so funny!

Oh and we have to see Ralph Bohner again, albeit in a flashback. MCU is really trying to tie AAA to WV. In this, they are succeeding. What will they do with this success is another question.

For now, however, this is it. See you all soon!

Black Adam - Nov 2

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us briefly talk about ‘Black Adam’, before MCU’s ‘BP2’ steals the spotlight.

‘Black Adam’ works. It is not the most powerful or poignant installment in the DCEU series, it is not necessarily even ‘the most’, period, but it works. The villains are villains, (with the final Big Bad being an actual devil of all things), while the good guys… Pause.

The titular character is an anti-hero, right? Yeah, no, it does not work like that. When anti-heroes first entered the fray, the cultural landscape was still dominated by heroes and villains; an anti-hero was a sinner who had found redemption; the grey area was located between light and dark; people could dwell there, spiritually speaking, but sooner or later they would have to make a choice between the aforementioned light and dark… or else they were NPC characters who had no role in the piece of fiction at all. Now, though, this dichotomy is over, grey morality is a thing, and people like Black Adam are just heroes who aren’t afraid of getting their hands dirty… unlike the Justice Society league, for example.

Here is…not so much another pause, as an admittance of a sticky issue: why was Amanda Waller bossing Justice Society league around? In the DC canon, she runs only the Suicide Squad, (which was absent in ‘Black Adam’), nothing else. True, the status of the Justice Society itself is suspect – these days it is more apocrypha than canon in the DC comics at worst, and a second tier to the JL at best…but we still got the JL in the DCEU, right? Henry Cavill is returning from the witcher-verse, and Gal Gadot has never left, correct? Somehow, the JL never gets a mention in ‘Black Adam’, and while the entire film never feels like a reboot, somehow it does not feel like a part of the already-established DC-verse.

…Yes, I am quite aware that DCEU - and the rest – are being overhauled by their superiors in real life, (re: the Batgirl film), but that is not a problem of ‘Black Adam’ cast and crew: they set out to make a movie, (and not, say, a pet project of The Rock), and they delivered. What else?

‘Black Adam’ is an entertaining movie. Well, naturally – it is a comic-book film, is not supposed to be informative or educational. The good people are good, the bad are bad, and Black Adam and his Kahndaq are not about to bow to the U.S. any time soon, Superman or not. Can the latter defeat the titular character is another issue, but it was not explored in the movie canon – and then there is Shazam. More precisely, Black Adam is a Shazam villain, (or at least a nemesis), so you would think that DCEU’s Shazam would appear in the movie under one pretext or another, but no, nothing. Is there some problem with Shazam’s actor in real life, I know not. Moving on?

Hard to say. Lately the Internet is being bombarded with the ‘BP2’ movie info, but I am holding out – lately MCU was more disappointing than not. ‘Ms. Marvel’ was pointedly downplayed for RL reasons… and she was flat-out lackluster, while ‘She-Hulk’ was a Mary-Sue story, period, with Titania getting the short end of the stick, here. See, a Mary-Sue cannot stand female characters that are equal with her, (and the same goes for the male characters in a Marty-Stu story), and does her best to get rid of them, or at least – seriously diminish them. This is exactly what happens to Titania: at the end of the ‘She-Hulk’ S1, the ‘Hulk-King’ and the Abomination are arrested, and Titania just… vanishes – clearly, the titular character’s deal with K.E.V.I.N. included getting rid of her for good – or something. In any case, the end of ‘She-Hulk’ S1 is all about the titular character and her new and updated family – though with her cousin the Hulk introducing his own son, the situation may begin to change – but what does this have to do with ‘BP2’?

Nothing, sadly. All I wanted to point out is that MCU’s Namor has at least some things in common with MCU’s Killmonger, (now deceased… probably). MCU’s Namor has strong Mesoamerican overtones, and some of his promo images show him wearing a jaguar-head helmet/headpiece/headdress… you get the idea. Plus, there’s his moniker Kukulkan, who was, or is, a Mesoamerican serpent deity in RL – and on the other…paw we have MCU’s Killmonger, who went with the moniker of the ‘Golden Jaguar’ in the first BP film. There are no wild jaguars in the Old World, (which includes Africa); they are an American-only species – and now we get a Namor with strong Mesoamerican connotations. Again, nothing is new under the sun, we already had a half-Japanese Namor, (located on Earth-13410, one Namor Miyamoto), so why not a Mesoamerican one?.. At this point, I am more annoyed with the endless barrage of pro-BP2 promotions, but that is another story.

For now, though, this is it. See you all soon, instead!

Moon Knight, 'Gods and Monsters' - May 4

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about the MK season one finale instead – and it is a jumble.

Ok, no, let’s try again: for a show that aimed at talking about the mysteries of the mind on one hand, and that was flipping between the various settings – a mental institution, U.K., Egypt, and so on – MK was remarkably straightforward and controlled: it was yet another hero’s journey, one that MCU kept under tight control…until the twist at the end… which could be seen a mile away.

…When AoS’ S1 had Ward turned traitor, it worked because it was so unexpected… and nothing gave it away. In MK S1, the appearance of a third personality – Jake Lockley (or whoever) – was choreographed several episodes before the S1 finale. Therefore, when the man – or the personality, whatever – did appear in MK and finished ‘the Harrow job’, no one was surprised. Except maybe for Harrow.

Let us elaborate. In the S1 finale, the Spector and Grant personalities of the titular character have reunited with each other and with Khonshu, and defeated Harrow and Ammit. We have discussed Ammit/Ammut before, and the same goes for Tawaret, who bonded with Layla as well. Again, Tawaret is not a warrior goddess; Ammit/Ammut is not much of a deity period, and I, for one, just could not help but to visualize Mr. Riordan’s ‘Kane Chronicles’, especially the second book, where the Kane siblings, Carter and Sadie, have their confrontation with Khonshu.

Again, I proclaim: MK has not ripped-off ‘Kane Chronicles’ directly; the two media are quite different, not to mention that Layla’s character is quite original… in that that she’s a strong, independent woman who lives in MCU, (the viewers of the 2021 ‘Black Widow’ film) will be so impressed… and who is an avatar of an ancient Egyptian goddess, just as Marc/Steven/Jake is an avatar of an Egyptian god. Pause.

…Khonshu appeared to be quite ready and willing to work with the Jake personality of MK, implying that he himself is just as morally shady and ambiguous as Jake himself is? Not surprising, given Khonshu’s re-appearance in the Marvel comics, when he appeared as an enemy of the Avengers, and while he was not as evil as Mephisto was, (the comic version, as we have not seen a live-action one yet), he certainly was a bad piece of work – and MCU’s Khonshu lives-up to that rep, no problem.

…The problem here is that Layla is still legally married to MK, regardless of which personality is in the driver’s seat, and Jake is quite nasty, by all standards; plus, there is Khonshu playing extra interference, and the god’s moral ambiguity and other personality flaws can easily make an already tense situation worse. What is left?

‘Dr. Strange 2’ is coming out in a couple of days, and people are already divided about it – fair enough. In RL – and did I fail to tell you that it sucks, ‘cause it does – the RF has pissed-off the West by trying to use the Holocaust as its’ justification regarding its’ conflict with Ukraine, and it didn’t work, while overseas, the U.S. will try to use the RF to ty to discredit the Donald again. Can’t say that I blame the latter; if the Donald runs in the elections-2024 and wins – and given the current POTUS’ less than stellar performance here, it could happen – if the Donald wins, then the rest of the Western world can freely tell America to shove-off and sort itself, because this sort of political unpredictability gets very tiring very fast – but we digressed.

…The final face-off between Ammit/Ammut and Khonshu is reminiscent of the showdown between Set, (possessed secretly by Apop), and Horus, in the first book of the ‘Kane Chronicles’, and here I have to talk about Ammit again – not only her/their deification by MCU is absolute fiction, their depiction of the ‘new’ deity is highly reminiscent of Sobek instead.

More precisely, Ammit/Ammut was a Chimera: hippo in the back, lion in the front, and a crocodile head to cap it all. Sobek, on the other hand, was depicted as a crocodile-headed human, (or a crocodile), nothing more, and yes, he was a proper god, a warrior and a protector, (among other things). To conflate him and Ammit (Ammut) was, and is, just wrong, it is cultural appropriation at its’ stupidest worst.

…Whereas Layla’s current evolution into Tawaret’s representative smacks of copyright infringement instead: her new duds are just excessively similar to what WW wore in the WW84 film. Tawaret is a hippo goddess of fertility, (among other things), so why the slimming get-up? …Oh, wait; it is Disney/MCU, never mind. When money is not involved, Disney is certain to play it safe; and when it is… well; we will just have to see what, and how, the fight between Disney and the Republicans in the state of Florida will go. Did I not mention that the real life sucks?

…Getting back to the Egyptian myths and mythos… there were several falcon-associated deities in there, but they tended to be male, because they were associated with the pharaoh, (who were overwhelmingly male themselves, cough); the most famous are Ra, Horus, and their fusion, Horus-Ra – the Egyptian myths could be quite confusing on their own right, (which may be why WW84’s creative team tried to go with the Mesoamerican imagery instead), but we digress.

…No, we are not, not really. The final official judgement on the MK S1 is out, but mine is that it is one part reworked Mr. Riordan’s ‘Kane Chronicles’, one part MCU attempt to tackle serious issues, (mental issues in this case), one part MCU sticking to what they know best – i.e. entertaining people, and all of this is wrapped-up into an ‘independent’ MCU series, which takes place separate from the rest of the MCU. The end result is something that you can see for yourself, and I will take my leave of you now.

See you all soon!

Moon Knight, 'Afterlife' - April 27

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about MK. Only, it continues to travel down Mr. Riordan’s ‘Kane Chronicles’ trilogy, so here isn’t much to talk about either.

No, really, throughout the trilogy, (especially in the second and the third books), Carter and Sadie Kane regularly travel into the Egyptian Afterlife, to converse with their father, (who is also the avatar of Osiris), and for other goals as well – and here we get Oscar Isaac’s characters, who do exactly that.

The Kane siblings travel usually on a magical boat, clearly associated with the ‘authentic’ slash ‘original’ myths of ancient Egypt; and in this week’s MK episode, ‘Afterlife’, we got the same thing, save that apparently in MK’s case the magical boat is the hospital/mental asylum that Marc and Steven found themselves on/in…which doesn’t make much logical sense, but this is MCU, where logical sense doesn’t always exist…where are we?

Ah, yes, Tawaret. In this week’s episode, she is the one doing the judging of Marc and Steven, and finds them wanting. This isn’t too surprising – since the series’ premiere, MK was all about ancient Egypt, ancient Egyptian myths, and especially the ancient Egyptian afterlife & the myths about the afterlife, but, again, I repeat – the ancient Egyptians’ judge of the afterlife was Anubis, or/and Osiris, not Tawaret, who is more associated with childbirth and fertility instead; Mr. Riordan played fast and loose with her role in the ‘Kane Chronicles’, but MK has him beat easily.

Again, not an issue, but for the statement that DCEU’s WW84 did not do Egypt and its’ culture much respect; compared to MCU’s MK, WW84’s treatment of Egypt was tasteful and restrained instead. Ouch! Anything else?

Yes, back in the real life, we saw a live raccoon in our local park; given that it was a sunny afternoon, this makes it unusual, as wild raccoons are more active and bold during night-time instead; we didn’t approach it, as though it is smaller than a coyote is, a wild raccoon is still formidable and powerful and must be treated with respect, but it was certainly an event that was more exciting – and important – to me in my life than anything than MK can throw at me at this point, all of MCU’s pageantry and spectacle aside. Ah well, real life sucks, but sometimes it does deliver a gem instead.

Well, this is it for now, though. See you all soon!

Moon Knight, Type - April 13

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about the third episode of ‘Moon Knight’ – ‘Friendly Type’. Sadly, MK continues to not quite deliver, and-

-And nothing, sadly. First, Oscar Isaacs continues to imitate Tom Hardy’s characters – he has Steven, he has Marc, and he can even do Khonshu – though Khonshu got petrified by the finale of this week’s episode.

Second, MK continues to imitate the original Indiana Jones movie trilogy and the like – we got a European adventurer in the exotic foreign country with its’ treacherous natives and mysterious undercurrents – the Dany plotline in the original ASOIAF novels has demonstrated the same theme, and fairly recently too; Hell, the entire face-off in the arena where MK on foot fought an opponent on horse is certainly reminiscent of a certain showdown in one of the ASOIAF novels…

Third, the Rick Riordan factor. In his universe, the modern Greco-Roman world is USA, (with Canada being Hyperborea, seriously!), while Egypt is associated with the U.K. instead. Ergo, now, in ‘Moon Knight’, we got the U.K., (especially England), and Egypt, delivered with barely more maturity than the novels in the ‘Kane Trilogy’ series did! Yes, Disney owns both Riordanverse and MCU, but still, this is not the sort of crosspollination that I have expected in ‘Moon Knight’.

Fourth, I am guessing that this change of focus – from USA, (and especially NYC), to the rest of the world, (especially U.K. & Egypt) might have brought the sudden downfall in the reviews and responses regarding ‘Moon Knight’ – the American public and its’ elite aren’t very fond of pro-U.K. movies as people might think; remember the ‘King’s Man’ film? It was done with all of the main American cultural tropes, but it was Great Britain, rather than the U.S., that was in the focus of the film. The result was mixed reviews, with some of them being quite scathing too – you do not try to out-U.S. the U.S. and not pay the price!

That said, the geography in MCU is atrocious; whereas DCEU went fully imaginary, with its’ world having mostly imaginary cities such as Metropolis, Gotham, National City, Starling City and so on, MCU tries to have some real-life places as well, especially NYC…and little more. Their geography feels a lot more restrained, especially in the 90s and the early 2000s, though now it has improved – some, but not much.

Finally, all of the subtle nods to ‘the greater MCU’. It is not very impressive, about the level of the ‘Eternals’ film. The latter has been one of the least successful MCU films up to date – precisely because of that detachment, and it seems that MK suffers from the same problem, (and the same goes for the Sony films). Ah well, we have discussed this problem before, and now it is too late for MCU to change anything in MK…and they probably did not want to from the start…

Ah well, this is it for now. See you all soon!

TBOBF - Jan 16

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, and you can always count on your family to make it worse, so let us briefly talk about Boba Fett instead. We are already 2 or 3 weeks into 2022, so it is time for me to make my first blog entry of the year anyhow…

…Well, here is the tricky part – there is not much to talk about in regards to ‘The Book of Boba Fett’: like almost anything that is associated with Disney, the technical side of things is done perfectly, but otherwise…

But otherwise, if you look at the Disney/SW situation, then you will notice something else: it is stuck. It is stuck within the framework of the first two trilogies, done without Disney’s involvement and investment in Lucasfilm™, and while ‘The Mandalorian’ tested those borders, ‘The Book of Boba Fett’ – not so much, at least not in the first three episodes; ‘The Book of Boba Fett is taking place sometime around the original trilogy…ok, sometime after the SW6 film, but so far it is ignoring the greater galaxy far away and is centered around a certain town on Tattooine instead. In ‘The Mandalorian’, we travelled all over the place, but then… first, Gina Carano made a daft and a politically inapt statement, she was fired, her SW character Cara Dune was scrapped, the end. Where did this leave us?

…With the titular character handling over Grogu the Yoda Baby over to Luke Skywalker, leaving fans wondering, just what has happened to the tyke between ‘The Mandalorian’ S2 finale and the SW7-9 films that he either sat out Luke Skywalker getting his ass handed over to him practically by everyone else, or else Grogu was in the posse that joined the Dark Side and handed Luke Skywalker his ass. Neither possibility is good, so for the moment Grogu and the rest of the remaining ‘Mandalorian’ cast are benched, and we got ‘The Book of Boba Fett’, which is detached – in a large part - from the rest of the SW universe. The fan community is not too impressed, and so ‘The Book of Boba Fett’ is not flourishing as much as it could have been. Anything else?

Yes, the AoS, for I would not be talking about Disney’s latest SW misadventure without it. Yes, DC seems to have come up with its’ own take on the show’s initial premise in the ‘Peacemaker’ series, which is actually the redemption arc Grant Ward should’ve had; the titular character is his variant, the rest of the crew are the variant AoS, save for the Vigilante, who is essentially a Deadpool variant instead. Marvel’s loss is DC’s gain – if Deadpool was a regular on the AoS show, it would have been much more popular and successful than how it was. Instead, we got Ms. Ming-Na Wen making a smooth and a casual reply to the question – is AoS coming back? – that amounts to her saying nothing and promising nothing, which is much more diplomatic than anything that Chloe Bennett would’ve said, but I digress.

First, Ms. Ming-Na is a talented actress, who knows that who pays for the music dances the girl, and does not go against Disney/MCU’s grain, as Chloe Bennett seems to have had. Second, AoS is over for good. Whatever it was supposed to be initially, in the end it was a clunky Frankenstein’s monster of a show, which had cannibalized the other cancelled MCU shows, such as ‘InHumans’, ‘Ghost Rider’, and even the cancelled third season of AC, but we’ve discussed it in the past.

Third, Disney/MCU has re-started that issue themselves in ‘Hawkeye’ – yes, we’ve talked about this before, but again, I’ll note that given how the audience’s/the fans’ reaction to the suggestion that Laura was the ‘true’ Mockingbird all along was ambiguous, Disney/MCU quickly squashed the discussions on this topic, and used the latest ‘Spider-Man’ movie to cover-up its’ tracks. However,

…However, there are traces of AoS in ‘No Way Home’ as well; the way that team Spider-Man deals with the extradimensional villains isn’t too different from the Tahiti method that AoS used on Cal, so clearly, the way that AoS had re-used its’ recycled ideas has spread to the rest of MCU by now. Oh dear, we will have to wait and see as to what will come out of it.

For now, though, this is it. See you all soon!

What If, 'T'Challa the Star-Lord' - Aug 18

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, and the U.S.’, (but also NATO’s), actions in the RL Afghanistan showed it to everyone, loud and clear, on August 16, 2021…onwards. I really want to talk about it, but, conversely, many other people have already talked, and are talking, and will be talking about this for a long time from now on, so let us talk about something else – the second episode of ‘What If?’

What happens here, of course, is that Disney/Marvel/MCU are trying to erase J. Gunn’s live-action GotG franchise and replace it with a better one, one that is animated. I am guessing that whatever beef they had with ScarJo in regards to the ‘Black Widow’ movie pales in face of their feud with J. Gunn! What next?

Well, the Western world will need to figure out what to do now that the Taliban, as well as their Pakistan backers and superiors have won a major score – oh, we are talking about ‘What If?’ No…well, yes, but here is where ‘The Suicide Squad’ deserves a special mention.

The new version of the 2016 film is a good movie although it has its flaws, just as the 2016 version had its’ virtues. For example, in 2016, Waller was assembling a team that was supposed to be custom-made, to be precisely tailored to deal with various threats…on behalf of the American government, (cough). Yes, it didn’t go smoothly, not quite to plan, but in the end? The titular characters actually delivered…pretty much as Waller and her cohorts had expected them to be, and maybe even surpassing the expectations, (not that there was too much height to clear). Here, in the 2021 version, the Wall not so much assembled as collected a literally motley crew of bits and pieces that don’t even fit together, and make MCU’s AoS crew seem cohesive – and has the gall to be surprised when the mission literally dissolves into shite.

…No, I am not talking about the massacre on the beach but about how the team Bloodsport did its’ job in the completely opposite direction from where the Wall…assumed that it would go, apparently? Seriously, she collected some of the worst people in the DC-verse and sent them off with minimal oversight – Colonel Rick Flagg and whatever means of keeping an eye on both teams, (drones? Satellite cameras?). The result was that Flagg died and the news about the American government’s involvement with Jotunheim and Starro leaked out all the same – something that Waller wanted to avoid. Peacekeeper was nullified, Blackguard died, and her FBI underlings turned on her, (guess they heard what she did to their predecessors in the first movie). I have no idea as to what agent Waller will do next, but that is not why the movie failed. Rather, it failed because the American audiences had their fill of movie theaters for the moment, plus all of the baggage that was carried over from the first Suicide Squad movie, one that HBO/WB/DC/whoever never managed to quite divorce from the new one…

Back to ‘What If?’ Yeah, sort of. In the first GotG film, we had a ragtag group of characters, literally, who went forth and saved the galaxy. In the second film, they progressed, becoming more competent and more comfortable together. Moreover, in the ‘Infinity War’ and ‘Endgame’ movies, they did their best to stop Thanos, and stop him they did…with losses along the way, but that was unavoidable.

And now we got the second ‘What If?’ episode that has none of that, but instead we got T’Challa succeeding at practically everything that Peter Quill had struggled with. Maybe that is justifiable, but as we have seen in MCU, both in CA: CW and the first ‘Black Panther’ film, T’Challa has had his own problems so clearly, in his ‘What If?’ episode, (Earth-TRN877), this might be some very alternative T’Challa, (though he and Yondu both were fought to a standstill, cough, by this dimension’s Collector)… Anything else?

The tendency to play it safe as it was depicted in the series’ premiere is running here true too – all of the characters are familiar to us, its’ their roles that change. In the series’ premiere, this was downplayed, sort of, but now and here, in the episode 1x02, it is played-out to the max, in an almost vaudeville-like manner. So, what next?

Sadly, I have no idea, or at least – no concrete idea. I have some theories, but nothing that I want to air for the moment. Therefore, for now, this is it – see you all soon instead.

Peloton and Co. - May 7

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Just ask the Peloton™ team: they have only just recovered from their previous ad snafu, one that smelled of either sexism or of the Dark Mirror™ TV series, and now they got another scandal: apparently, children are getting into accidents over their treadmill equipment, and are getting hurt, maybe even seriously.

Listen, I don’t like Peloton™ as much as the next lazy guy, but even I have to admit that an indoor gym equipment isn’t necessarily child friendly, and as such, children – especially young ones – should be kept away from it, or at least – kept under supervision. This time, Peloton™ isn’t exactly at fault here, you know?

…On the other hand, we live in a world where endangered condors are trashing people’s homes, so all bets are off, actually. Let us try to talk about a less bizarre topic, i.e. the bad batch, the titular characters.

…No, I have no intention to talk about the series’ premiere in detail, let us just point out that the group’s villain, Crosshairs is…

No, let us try again. The Bad Batch themselves are a variant clone of the AoS’ team Bus from the get-go, just as the core characters of the ‘Blindspot’ TV series had been. Omega, of course, is the new Skye, while Crosshairs is Grant Ward, save that he is actually mind-controlled by some chip here, and thus has an out, (sort of): he was really made to do it and his mind isn’t entirely his own. It’s a thin excuse, but Ward didn’t have even this; actually, he never had anything, he hadn’t been fully damned nor fully redeemed, but we’re not talking about him; we’re talking about Crosshairs, who is also modelled after a Marvel comics’ character, a minor villain named William Cross, who is a master sniper and planner, who has slightly cybernetic modifications, but who wasn’t in S.H.I.E.L.D., but rather in CIA, before he went bad. He is also bad at hand-to-hand combat, and everything, (except for S.H.I.E.L.D. and CIA, primarily), applies to Crosshairs: the clone might be a Grant Ward variant mentally, but physically, he is more of a variant William Cross instead. The cross-pollination between Disney’s various franchises is proceeding apiece quite nicely.

This brings us to DC, and its’ ‘Justice Society: WWII’ film. Listen. The DC franchise is in the middle of a latest reboot, which began with the ‘Superman: Man of Tomorrow’ animated movie. This specific person plays an important role in this film too, even though in the promo videos it was more about the Flash and Wonder Woman instead, but so what? DC is trying to reinvent itself…cosmetically, while remaining same old same old on the inside: JS: WWII is a variant of the first Gal Gadot Wonder Woman movie, though there’s a nice homage to ‘Flash’ the 2014-onwards TV series too. You are free to watch it, but it is forgettable. Anything else?

Ah yes, the first season of ‘Jupiter’s Legacy’ is available to watch now. I have tried to follow the original comic series, and found them to be confused – just what exactly did they want to be? They tried to be original, but they did no better than Hasbro’s ‘G.I. Joe’ franchise, which struggles to be something more than another S.H.I.E.L.D. vs Hydra variant in an increasingly Marvel vs. DC comic world, and in this world, Marvel is increasingly driven and motivated by Disney, (cough), while DC is trying to figure out what it wants other than bigger sales of its’ own merchandise. Nice.

…Into this fray entered the ‘Jupiter’ comics, which tried to leave a mark, tried to be original, but somehow have largely vanished without a trace, until now, when they’ve resurfaced with a complete reboot from the original plotline, and-?

And nothing. Not unlike the abovementioned DC film, people will either enjoy the ‘Jupiter’ series, or not. There is nothing memorable or outstanding that gives them an advantage over the rest of their respective crowds, and so it is time to move on and to talk about something else.

For now though, this is it. See you all soon!

TFATWS, 'The Star-Spangled Man' - March 29

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Ergo, let us look at what is going on in MCU, and here things are not much better either – DC has struck! (Warning – spoilers ahead. If you care – do not read, if you do not – do).

Let me elaborate: whereas WV has dominated the American news, (especially the entertainment section, now that the Donald is no longer the POTUS and cannot compete with them fairly), TFATWS, on the other wing, has to compete with the Snyder cut of the Justice League, (which is apparently much more coherent and collected and composed differently from the Whedon version), as well as from the upcoming remake of the ‘Suicide Squad’.

…Personally, I reckon that the original ‘Squad’ movie worked, but this isn’t about workable movies, it’s about remaking its’ brand: DC has already remade the animated versions of Superman and Batman (plus the Martian Manhunter and several other characters, big and small), now it is time of the animated Wonder Woman, the Justice Society, the Flash and etc.… as well as of their live-action counterparts, (cough, ‘Superman and Lois’, cough). Team DC/Warner Brothers/HBO/etc. are not strong enough, or just unwilling, or whatever, to challenge the Disney/MCU juggernaut directly…but they are fighting it regardless. They are also putting a dump on the elder Whedon-man, but fuck him – after the mess that he had turned the AoS into, I am in no hurry to defend him – the man made his bed, let him lie in it, and the rest of his clan as well.

That said, the mutation of AoS, the unexpected and unwanted one, into a seven-season giant, had caused some ripples in the greater MCU as well. WV has demonstrated a complete lack of S.H.I.E.L.D. on one hand, (seriously, the current version of S.W.O.R.D. is just S.H.I.E.L.D. in a different package, cough), while on the other…

Apparently, one of the removed scenes had been Ralph teaming up with Monica, Darcy and Jimmy to capture a demon that Agatha’s rabbit Senor Scratchy transformed into. This event would have allowed Ralph to properly integrate into MCU and become something more than just a dick joke, (pun intended). However, it seems that a certain RL actor wasn’t very interested in this, and so his character got increasingly downgraded from the episode 1x06 onwards – as ‘Dark Phoenix 2019’ showed, the integration of FX into Disney/MCU didn’t occur too painlessly, and some bad feelings still linger on… Where are we?

…Right, while the WV – especially the last two episodes – suffered from some revision, (in a bad way, not unlike what AoS had in the second half of S2), TFATWS… does not appear to be, at least not at the moment. Instead, what we have are two teams – one is the titular characters, and the other is the new guys – J.W. aka the ‘new captain America’ and his main man Battlestar.

Yes, the racial dynamics is inverted in the new team, but I have no idea what does that mean. Yes, TFATWS is big on depicting racial dynamics within the U.S. – last week, it was Sam and Sarah’s big misadventure in the bank – apparently, with Tony Stark gone, the Avengers’ financial security is gone with him – and this time it is the cops’ harassing Sam because they think that he has harassed the Buck… and they’re white too.

I live in Canada, and the first time I saw an Afro-American person being arrested was in the U.S., (in the city of Buffalo, which is in the New York state, FYI), but the cops who arrested him were also Afro-Americans, and the detained man didn’t appear to be suffering too badly, so yes, here I am calling out Disney, MCU, and the rest of Hollywood on their racial BS because that is what it is, and given just how messed up the U.S. still is after the Donald’s 4-year tenure, does it really need Disney/MCU stirring the pot? Probably not, but TFATWS still has another 4 episodes left in it, so this is what’ll get – a modern social commentary set in a superhero universe, where super-soldiers whale at each other on top of moving trucks and what else have you. Bravo! How very woke of you, Disney & MCU! MAGA, MAGA!

But that aside, what did ‘The Star-Spangled Man’ have? It set up J.W. as the new ‘wrong’ captain America, it showed that the Flag-Smashers are not as evil as they appear to be, (maybe), and that there is another power group/player to the game, one that may or may not be Helmut Zemo, who is returning to TFATWS proper in the next episode. Not a wealth of information to go on, but then again, TFATWS is all about racial inequality, mental trauma, (PTSD), and action, as far as MCU incarnations go. That is fair enough, but not enough to go on.

Therefore, for now this is it. See you all soon instead!

Batman: Soul of the Dragon - Jan 13

 

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Yes, it is a direct responsa to the mess that the U.S. is currently in, but it is also a response to my family’s latest visit to our house – we all have barely survived the two weeks of holidays staying in the same house, (ok, apartment building), cooped-up together – it was that bad. I do not want to dwell on it, however, so let me just reassure my followers by proclaiming that I am not dead yet, and move on.

…The entire U.S. situation is not something that I want to discuss – not yet. By opening his big mouth, the Donald revealed himself to be an idiot of the highest caliber and quality, one that apparently hates the U.S. with a passion that not even Putin come close to, and one who should’ve been removed from the Capitol, the White House, etc., etc., a long time ago. Instead, we got a hot mess between the Republicans and the Democrats once again, and the Donald keeps on wheeling and flying over the U.S. unhindered. Seriously, do the American politicians consider other American people to be worthy of mattering? Alternatively, do they ignore them completely? Yes, some corporations have cut-off their funding either to the Donald or to the both of the abovementioned political parties – and this does not brighten the picture in the D.C. either, but still…

…At any rate, I have tried to distract myself by watching the new DC movie, ‘Batman: Soul of the Dragon’, and… I have regretted it. One of the worst wastes of my life and time ever!

Here is the thing. WW84 is a wonderful movie, (pun intended), just dealing with the modern political issues in atypical ways, as I have written last year about it. Hence all the rage from the independent movie critics and connoisseurs, (or whatever they are supposed to be). Those that are more dependent, like the IGN, of course, sing accolades to WW84 instead – but IGN have sang accolades to the ‘Dragon-Bat’ film as well. What is the problem here?

It is banal. WW84 has plenty of content, something that none of its’ critics deny. Not everyone is liking WW84’s political content, and not everyone is recognizing it for what it is, but it is present; WW84 has put itself onto a higher rung of the ladder of the movies’ worth, and right now, WB and HBO believe that it is a winning horse, (and rightly so) – WW84 is trying to do something else than just to entertain – it is trying to educate about the social and gender norms, (aside from anything else). ‘Dragon-Bat’ does not do anything like that. Instead, it is a straightforward fic, er, flick, about Batman teaming up with several other DC characters to bring down the Kobra cult. Pause.

Here is the thing. It is not a bad concept on its’ own, and ‘Dragon-Bat’ isn’t entirely a bad movie, it is only forgettable: none of the characters really have much of defining characteristics outside of martial arts – and everyone in the ‘Dragon-Bat’ has martial arts. The ‘dragon’ part seems to be coming from Richard Dragon, one of the movie’s main characters, and who got the worst part of the deal – lady Shiva has appeared in all sort of DC franchises and so has the Bronze Tiger/Ben Turner; I, in particular, remember his incarnation in the ‘Batman: The Brave and The Bold’ cartoons, and I got to say – I liked this version better. There he had backstory and traits that made him different from the rest of the BB characters – yes, it is obvious, but it needs to be said. Here, in ‘Dragon-Bat’, he is not, and neither is Richard Dragon, who seems to be little more than Batman’s/Bruce Wayne’s pale shadow instead, (somewhat how Homer’s Menelaus was a shadow of Odysseus in both ‘Iliad’ and ‘Odyssey’). After all, unlike lady Shiva and Ben Turner, he doesn’t have much of a presence outside of the DC comics… anything else?

Sadly, no. ‘Dragon-Bat’ doesn’t focus much on its characters; they appear to be almost interchangeable, and none of them appear to be too interested in each other beyond what the game – I mean, the movie – demands of them. ‘Dragon-Bat’ feels like a badly filmed RPG, in other terms. Lady Shiva, for example, is one of the more interesting female characters in DC – and here she is just a crime lord in the local Chinatown. Pardon me, a top crime lord or something. Fancy that. Do the other characters care? Not really. Is it all that important within the greater movie? Also not really. Ouch.

And the same can be addressed towards the Dark Knight himself, though he is a special case, actually. Yes, he is the Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader and so on, but he is more of a masked detective than a dragon slayer instead – somehow, here he feels redundant – even IGN admitted that in this movie his role could’ve been taken over by Richard Dragon or by anyone else, with the plot of the movie being none the worse. Only… the ‘names’ of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and so on have selling power that the ‘names’ of Richard Dragon or Ben Turner or even lady Shiva lack. Batman is here to make ‘soul of the Dragon’ sell, first and foremost, and everything else is redundant. Ouch!

But then again, everything about ‘Dragon-Bat’ is redundant and forgettable: yes, it is fun to watch once, but nothing else: you watch it once and probably will not watch it again. WW84, on the other hand? Has staying power and will be staying in discussions for the next little while, even as the ‘Dragon-Bat’ will not be. However, that is real life for you. It sucks.

This is it for now – see you all soon.

WW84 - Dec 22

 Obligatory disclaimer: I still am not dead. To elaborate further: the ‘WW84’ film is good.

Let us start from the beginning: what is this film about? It is about the further adventures of the titular heroine, this time – in the middle 1980s. So far so good, though did Ms. Patty Jenkins had to tack on the Donald as well?.. however, we digress.

Let us try again. The main difference between this year’s film and the 2017’s one is that the first WW movie was a part of the ‘greater DCEU’, let us call it that, it tied on directly into the effects of the JL movie, and on the flip side it was strongly reminiscent of Marvel’s first ‘Captain America’ film, though with a less pulp fiction film. I don’t know as to who thought that pulp fiction Nazis on screen was a good idea; they and their association with Hydra backfired on MCU in a big, unpredictable way, but that isn’t the point right now – the point is in that WW84, there are no WWI or WWII associations, there are some signs of an escalating, cough, Cold War, but none of the main characters of this film are associated too deeply with that RL aspect. Now what?

First, a shout-out to Pedro Pascal for his depiction of Maxwell Lord; the man has nothing in common with ‘the Mandalorian’, even though one and the same person is playing them both. Pedro Pasqual is clearly a man of many skills, whereas Ming-Na Wen, who has also reappeared in ‘the Mandalorian’ S2 finale as Boba Fett’s new sidekick, is more of a hot sauce – as the ad says, Grandma Disney puts Wen into everything. MCU? – AoS; Disney? – ‘Mulan-2020’ (and ‘Mulan-1990s, cough); SW – now ‘the Mandalorian’; yet so far Wen either plays a tough, powerful woman warrior, or she is just a cameo, a spectre of her normally powerful image.

…Yet even such a spectre is more powerful than Chloe Bennett is; the younger woman seems to be a one-hit wonder, now that AoS’ and its’ Quake are gone, and Quake/Daisy Johnson herself seems to be largely not in demand by Disney/Marvel now that AoS is finished; but how did Chloe wax poetic after the series’ finale!.. Where were we?

…Well, the Whedon family heavily invested & involved with AoS, and had published their own article once AoS was finished, but nothing was mentioned of the Mr. Whedon-father, who is under a MeToo cloud currently – and now Ms. Gadot, aka Diana Prince of the latest WW-movies, mentions Mr. Whedon-father in a less than flattering light. Fair enough and – girl power! Go, Diana! Go, Wonder Woman! Or not.

Oh no, the girl power in Diana is there, and if you need a sexist pig to base your villain upon, then the RL Donald is your man. The trick here is how Ms. Jenkins had handled her Maxwell Lord; ‘her’, because there are at least two other versions of Maxwell Lord who were played by RL actors rather than being cartoon animations, and one of them appeared back in ‘Supergirl-2015’ – a rather different person from the Maxwell Lord of WW84, so why hadn’t Ms. Jenkins used this actor?

Because she needed a Donald look-a-like, with one major twist – her Maxwell Lord actually redeemed himself at the end, because of his son, but regardless. In RL, of course, Barron Trump was off the metaphorical menu, though this was probably due to the actions of Melania, who was usually ‘ignored’ by the anti-Trump media because of reasons, but nevertheless, this version of Maxwell Lord proved to be a different version from the Donald, making their resemblance to each other imperfect, and Lord’s misogyny, (relatively speaking, but still) – ditto.

…And on the other hand we have the Cheetah, who was not redeemed, however likable she used to be in most of the movie. If Maxwell was a misogynist of WW84, then Dr. Minerva/Cheetah was an equally toxic TERF, (not unlike J.K. Rowling in real life), a stereotype that is much less popular in the mainstream culture, political and otherwise, than someone as the Donald is. By depicting the Cheetah this way, may be one of the reasons as to why WW84 reviews were mixed, as some of the reviewers do not like this portrayal of hers, and the others – of the Donald… I mean, Maxwell Lord. Fair enough.

That said, for most of the movie, Barbara-Ann Minerva isn’t the Cheetah, but more of a dark mirror to Wonder Woman, a selfish version of Diana rather than an outright evil one. Of course, by wishing for Steve, Diana herself proved to be selfish…at least by the movie’s standards…or maybe the crystal’s…since it was created by a ‘god of mischief and lies’…cough. Gee, I wonder who can that be; you know that Marvel hadn’t created him, but rather taken the actual RL Norse mythology and adapted it to its’ own purpose…but because their association with Loki is that tight these days, that DC decided to hide behind anonymity, because of course that works!..

Back to the Cheetah proper, as it was said before, for most of the movie, she is not an evil person, more of a selfish one, an anti-Wonder Woman…sort of. Then she decided to change her wish – just as Diana gave up her own wish, that of Steve being with her, (and in exchange, she was growing weaker, more ordinary – the movie could’ve had fun, by having Minerva turn into Wonder Woman, just as Diana was turning into an ordinary woman, and someone who resembled the original Minerva, maybe?.. but that would be fetish fuel or something, so no.

Instead we got Minerva turning from a dark Wonder Woman into an extra from CATS-2019, (and that was a toxic trash fire even before COVID-19 struck), because, supposedly, Minerva wanted to be an ‘apex predator’, or an ‘alpha predator’, or whatever.

…The problem here is that a cheetah is a predator, but is much closer to the bottom of the metaphorical pyramid; there are videos on YouTube that show RL cheetahs being chased away from their kills by…flocks of vultures. We’re talking RL vultures here, professional scavengers, not hunters themselves, not at all – and when professional scavengers can get the best of you, because you’re tired and exhausted to the bone, and they aren’t, and there’s many of them, and only one of you – then you know that you’re neither alpha nor apex anything. In RL, cheetahs are pwned by practically every other carnivore of the African savannahs where they live, and they know it. They are speeding specialists and as such, they are really fragile and physically weak, (though I still would not advise any human to tangle with them for all sort of reasons), so the Barbara Ann Minerva version of the Cheetah is more like the Leopard or the Jaguar instead.

…There is also the Priscilla Rich version of the Cheetah; unlike Barbara-Ann, this one is no metahuman, but more like an evil version of the Catwoman instead, what with a suit…and a load of cash, ‘cause her family name is Rich, got it? Still, she has not appeared in DCEU so far, so no more shall be said about that. Anything else?

Well, Steve-O and his amazing body snatching/look-around switcheroo story line feels rather influenced by the 90s’ X: WP/H: TLJ TV series’, cough, ancient Greece, cough. In them, some of the villains – especially a blonde named Callisto – had escaped from the Underworld on one point and took over Xena’s body, so Xena had to take over Callisto’s…or something. In RL, Lucy Lawless, who played Xena, had a broken leg or some similar injury, so Hudson Leick, (who normally played Calypso) had to step in and take over…so an elaborate body swap had to be involved, somehow.

…Yes, Lucy Lawless had appeared in MCU’s AoS, but that role – an S.H.I.E.L.D. agent named Isabelle Heartly – was not one of LL’s best, not even in the top ten. A chakram-wielding character did reappear in S5 – one that had been played by Dove Cameron instead – but that character, Ruby Hale, had been underwhelming as well…but we have talked about this before. What about WW84 instead?

This movie works. It has its’ flaws, of course, but it works. It fun and entertaining, and while it tried to be woke, it also tried to be fair – something that’ll backfire on it; already has begun to, as the reviews have started to tickle in. Ah well, Gal Gadot is still herself, and Patty Jenkins will be directing the new SW movie, whatever it will be – but that is another story.

For now, though, this is it. See you all soon! Happy upcoming Christmas!

Quarantine entry #118 - July 17

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Therefore, I looked at the ‘Wonder woman 77 meets Bionic woman’ comic, and-?

Well, here is the thing. For a while, I followed the ‘Batman 66’ comics, which were based on the sixties’ TV version of Batman. They are not bad comics, and I have enjoyed following them, (they have ended for now, from what I understand), and this brings us to WW77. This is a comic series based on the seventies’ version of Wonder Woman. Fair enough, but somehow they never got to be as popular as their Batman counterparts did. As to why is that, I have no idea – WW is as good a DC superhero as Batman is – and this brings us to the abovementioned comic. Ergo-?

Ergo it just does not work. Somehow, they made the meeting of the two female superheroes look kind of boring and mundane – almost like ‘Charlie’s Angels’, (the initial original movie), but with superpowers. And robots.

The robots. Throughout the series, they’re called ‘fembots’ – apparently, in the original TV/comic series, they were only women, but now they’re men, so even the crossover comic itself asks – shouldn’t they be ‘man-bots’ instead? And…the name never changes for some paper-weak excuse: obviously, the name cannot be changed because of copyright issues, but…

…But this is actually the problem with the WWBW comic here – it is trying to be ‘woke’ too hard, while also trying to be authentic to the spirit of both of its components – WW & BW – also too hard. The result is weak sauce – maybe not ‘Dark Phoenix 2019’ weak, but close enough.

Let us try to elaborate. Let us look at the villains – there are 3 to 4 various WW & BW villains, all associated with robotics, cybernetics, bionics, etc. That sounds like a good combo, but somehow this evil team never amounts to much; sure, a motley crew of the abovementioned robots and mercenaries let by a Nazi/ex-Nazi captain from WW’s past invades the Amazons’ island, but both of those groups are featureless as far as characters go, and serve nothing more than cannon fodder. If this were ST, they would all be wearing red shirts.

…Oh, wait, the robots do wear red shirts; actually, their closing is red (or some other monochrome coloration), done in the worst 70s throwback ever: their getup serves no purpose just to provide some authentic 70s’ vibe. Set in a world of Amazons and humanoid robots. Right. Authenticity, what are you doing here? Are you on a trip? Cough.

…The clothing issues aside, why are the villains invading the Amazon Island? Why, to steal some special metal that will make their robots extra strong!.. Doesn’t sound like the worst idea, true, but somehow the team WWBW makes it sound mundane and tripe, and have ever the info that WW’s homeland has some special metal ever surfaced in the DC verse? I can’t remember, but this is no reason to declare this development to be a one-time wonder, right? Where were we?

Ah yes, the wokeness. Somehow, the Batman 66 comics were never so ‘woke’ as this one, which might be the reason why the WWBW comic never acquired any sequels; the WW77 comic line itself went for a volume or two, but now it is also gone, (just as the Batman 66 comics are). Maybe team DC decided to overhaul its’ extended universe again, and any future collaborations between WW and BW got lost in the shuffle. Who knows?

For now, however, this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #100 - June 29

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, but at least Disney/Disney+ will be releasing both ‘Mulan-2020’, and ‘The Falcon and the Winter Soldier’, into public access by august 2020, so some bright news are ahead after all. What next?

Well, today I wanted to talk about the peregrine falcon, which is the bird when it comes to falconry, but first – DC had released the trailer for ‘Superman: The Man of Tomorrow’ that is coming later this year, (or next year, whichever date will be better), so let’s mention it first.

What is S: TMT? It is DC’s reboot of its animated videos’ franchise, especially of the titular Superman. So far, he looks very much like his initial model, (from the 1990s’ animated series’ onwards), whereas Luis Lane looks less pin-upy as she did before.

…Judging by the trailer, Superman will be dealing with Lobo and the Parasite; there is also a scene of him interacting with Lex Luthor, but it is quite brief, and so there is no certainty as to how specifically the interactions between those two will go. True, it probably will not be good – there is no incarnation in which Clark and Lex ever remained friends, even if they were friends to begin with – but the details are not available yet.

Lex aside, it was also revealed that Superman would be facing off with Lobo and the Parasite. Lobo appears to be largely like his 1990s cartoon version as well, though he seems to have trouble standing up to Superman now – in the 1990s version onwards he actually could, through sheer physical badassery. In this trailer, however, he seems to have a green kryptonite ring…either that or a Green Lantern ring, but the latter version seems to be too far out – Lobo just is not a real Green Corps’ material, you know? …In any case, we see the Martian Manhunter come to help the Man of Steel out, the two aliens bond, and the rest of the trailer is dedicated to the Parasite, who is a Superman villain who had fallen out of fashion since the 1990s, and who got a feral new look, rather reminiscent of the White Martians from the ‘Supergirl’ TV show at their worst. Since unlike Lobo and the Man of Steel himself, the Parasite used to be an ordinary human who acquired his powers by accident, it will be interesting to see if Lex Luthor is behind it, say – but for now, this is it. Now about the peregrine falcon?

…Here is the punchline – while the Man of Steel is faster than a speeding bullet is, the peregrine falcon is the fastest of modern birds, and probably the fastest of modern animals, period. All falcons are built for speed, but the peregrine – especially so; its’ primary trick is to get high above its’ prey and then swoop down upon it; each of its’ feet has a specialized, extra-large talon, so if the peregrine scores a direct hit, a bird the size of a hooded, or an American, crow, can be sliced almost in two.

But that is the peregrine. It is one of the bigger falcons, (the biggest modern falcon is the gyrfalcon, which lives in Arctic and is not as known, especially in the New World, as the peregrine is). Smaller falcons, like the merlin, have their own tricks – in particular, hovering, meaning that they channel their inner helicopter, (rather than airplane), and stay in one spot in midair, trying to zoom-in on their prey, usually something like a mouse or a large insect, (small falcons, remember?). But normally, falcons prefer to eat other birds.

More precisely, while hawks hunt among trees and eat primarily both birds and arboreal mammals such as tree squirrels, and eagles often prefer to hunt various mammals, period, (but we’ll talk about the eagles at a different date), the falcons are bird specialists…unless they’re like the crested caracara, of which we have talked yesterday. The ecology of modern birds is a complex bag, and we will be talking more about it later.

…For now, though, this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #61 - May 21

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about something else, anything else, really.

There’s the final season of AoS…which I’ll miss, because I’m stuck in a place that has no TV, and I’m not so certain that I’ll be able to access them via my computer, because no matter how much I love AoS, I’m not sure that it’ll be worth the money. As it is, odds are that in their final season, AoS will turn into DC’s LoT, (remember those guys?), complete with time travel and all. S.H.I.E.L.D. must save Hydra because otherwise there will be no S.H.I.E.L.D. – sigh. In the CA: CW film, Zemo made a point in telling some Hydra/ex-Hydra colonel or another that Hydra is done, gone, lost in the junkyard of history.

…Zemo was contained at the end of that movie. He’s supposed to return on ‘The Winter Soldier and the Falcon’ Disney+ series, but that series was one of the first to go down once COVID-19 was here to stay, and so that is the end of that, for the moment.

…Speaking of team DC, Ruby Rose is leaving the DC-verse. Since she was the titular character in the new ‘Batwoman’ TV series, this raises a question – just who will take over from her, and how will ‘Batwoman’ be able to spin it? The reasons here actually aren’t COVID-19-related, but RR is gone from DC-verse all the same, so what next?

…’The Lovebirds’ movie is coming to the Netflix soon, (as in tomorrow – May 22, 2020), so we will talk about it then. The ‘SCOOB!’ film did come to the screens before today, and it is yet another reboot of ‘Scooby-Doo’ in particular and of ‘Hanna-Barbara’ in general, so what is left?

Well, I wanted to talk about snakes today. They may be the youngest modern group of reptiles, and probably the most infamous, thanks to the Biblical serpent. In reality, snakes are not any more – or any less – dangerous than their closest cousins the lizards are, and as for the crocodilians… do not go there.

We have talked about various snakes on and off in the past, especially regarding the AFO episode ‘Jaguar vs. Anaconda’, where the latter had won. Why this was the wrong decision was also discussed at length, so what is left behind?

…Modern snakes are characterized by the lack of limbs, though the oldest of them all, pythons and boas, have spurs as remnants of them. Snakes’ eyelids have also ‘fused’ into goggles, making them different from the various legless lizards, such as the slowworm and the glass lizard. Many snakes are venomous, meaning that it is dangerous for them to bite you, but not vice versa, because otherwise they would be poisonous instead. The venomous snakes of North America are mostly the various pit vipers; they tend to be much more aggressive than their non-venomous counterparts are and do not hesitate to warn others of their defences – i.e., the rattlesnakes rattle, their cousins the cottonmouths (and maybe the copperheads as well) show the insides of their mouths, and so on.

…The odd ones here are the coral snakes of the southern, especially south-west USA, which are more closely related to cobras and kraits of the Old World than to the pit vipers, (which are also found in Asia, though the American species outnumber them). They are shier than the pit vipers are, but are also much more colorful, in bands of black, red and yellow that warns other animals to back away, and rightfully so, because the coral snakes are quite venomous.

There are other snakes, all over the New World, really, that imitate the coral snakes’ coloration with various degrees of authenticity – this is called mimicry, and it is a really quite amazing evolutionary devices that allows the non-venomous, very venomous, and slightly venomous snakes to co-exist with each other, while protecting each other as well, (in a manner) of speaking – but that is another story.

…For now, though, this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #53 - May 13

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, and on this particular day, there is nothing going on in real life that is exceptionally noteworthy, the rant of a certain musician on Twitter aside. People are falling apart, as simple as that, and the fact that such captains of industry as the aforementioned Twitter, Google and Facebook are allowing their workers to work from their homes even in the post-lockdown world doesn’t help. Working from home means co-existing with your family 24/7, and this is what the lockdown has already exposed as overrated – you need to have some space from your family, some time off, and if that isn’t happening, then it isn’t happening, and you got an unavoidable meltdown instead. What else?

…People have been asking me as to why I have not been discussing Ubisoft’s latest ‘Assassin’s Creed’ installment – the one with the Vikings. My answer is plain: I do not do ‘Assassin’s Creed’ as a rule, and this version is essentially ‘Assassin’s Creed’ meeting the ‘Vikings’ of History channel, and in case you have forgotten, I wasn’t impressed with that TV series either. Frankly, I’m going to call a spade a spade and call out, saying that if it wasn’t for the lockdown, the ‘ACV’ wouldn’t receive as much publicity as it did, but this is the hand it was dealt instead, the end.

…As for ‘Stargirl’, the latest darling of the DC TV-verse, I’m not going to touch it right now either – I’m not a big fan of DC TV-verse, ‘Stargirl’ may be superhero drama meeting a teenage rom-com, or sit-com, or whatever – don’t care. This is not my TV show for now, the end. What is left?

…I feel like talking about lions, actually. Of course, we have talked about them repeatedly in the past, so let us do this now once more – I am feeling sufficiently nostalgic, here and now.

So: the lion is the king of the beasts. People claimed that it could stare into the sun without blinking. However, so can the other cats – the anatomy of their eyes permits that. ‘Tis just that the lion is so regal-looking, so majestic! It appears that a lion is never looking at anyone directly, but only at some point in the distance, as if it does not notice you. And its’ roar is something else – it isn’t roar, it’s thunder!

When it comes to strength, the lion does not attack only the African bush elephant, (namely, the fully-grown animals), the African rhinos, (ditto), and the polar bear, (because the latter is never found in the African wilderness). Anything else is fair game. The lion’s strength is such, that it can break a bull’s back with one paw strike. However, more often, the lioness will jump onto the prey’s back, grab the muzzle with its paws, and by jerking around, it either suffocates the beast or breaks its’ neck, whether it was a wildebeest, some other antelope, a zebra, or even the African buffalo.

…Yes, there are several subspecies, or even species, of the African buffalo, which is only a distant relative of the American buffalo, aka the bison that we have discussed in the past. However, right now, we are talking about the lions, which is the only species in the Panthera genus that hunts in packs, as the wild dogs do – aka in prides. All the rest of the ‘roaring cats’ are solitary hunters. Beyond them, we got the cheetah and maybe the cheetah’s South American cousin the jaguarundi, which also live in family prides, especially the cheetah. Too little is known about the jaguarundi to make a concrete statement.

Finally, the lions used to live beyond Africa – in Eurasia and even in North America, (which used to be connected to Eurasia via a land bridge in the past epochs). As you know, those beasts were called cave lions in Europe and American lions in North America. Whether they actually lived in caves, or were only depicted there by the Stone Age humans, is another story. These days, lions live only in Africa, and in the Gir Forest in India, Asia, and their status slash well-being is contradictory and worrisome. A sad end for the king of the beasts there!..

…Well, this is it for now – see you all soon!

Quarantine entry #51 - May 11

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. At least the Asian giant hornet threat has been semi-debunked, as people are beginning to realize that these insects probably will not be invading North America any time soon. Pause. I mean, that they are invading, in a manner of speaking, but not uncontrollably – people have handled them back in 2019, and they can handle them now. What next?

Well, I tried to catch up onto my ‘fiction’, in order to escape reality, and it was a mixed bag. First, I got to watch the SW: CW finale and all I can say is how ‘Solo’ the 2018 movie fits with all of that? As we remember from that Disney/SW flop, amongst other things, it showed that Darth Maul was relatively alive and well at that point in time of SW-verse, and that point in time was closer to the original trilogy than to the Clone Wars series, so hah? What gives? Is Disney/SW no longer in control of their expanded universe? Oh dear, and what with COVID-19 this might CW/’Solo’ be harder to fix than it would be ordinarily.

Second, I watched the last DC animated, straight-to-video, film, and all I can say is ‘hah’? The JLD: A film feels like a reboot/stand alone, rather than a conclusion of a series – it had nothing in common with the initial ‘Justice League Dark’ film, and on the other hand – everyone died. No, not because Darkseid was able to kill them all, (he almost did, with his new Parademon/Doomsday hybrids), but because the Justice League itself did. To wit, this DC universe seems to have been created by the Flash in the animated ‘Flashpoint Paradox’ film, in which the superhero in question tried to save his mother or something, and as a result, an entire new DC-universe was created. Yes, it is also a comicbook adaptation, but the point is that this entire DC animated universe was an ‘Elseworld’, an experiment in ‘what if’/’what could’ve been’, put otherwise. Must admit that is pretty clever – wonder as to what team DC will do next, now that this exercise is over…

Back in the real world, president Putin declared that the RF will begin to return to normal starting tomorrow, May 12, 2020. I knew that the world was going to begin to return normal on this date, but still, given that it is RF, aka Mother Russia, it is only a question of ‘how’ the country will screw it up. It is not a question of intent, it is a matter of consistency – everything in Russia, (especially everything important), is done through the ass. By contrast, the U.S. have only started to utilize this maneuver recently, around 2016 or so, and already, in just 4 short years, they managed to undo many of their achievements in the 1990-2014 time period. Some sort of an anti-record this is, and the RF have been doing it far longer…

…No, it will not be the opposition’s doing – most of them can only criticize Putin’s government and often their styles of doing so are either unimpressive or pitiful. No, it will be the Russian spirit itself that will rise against Putin and make a mockery out of him. Anything else?

Hard to say. On one hand, I wanted to revisit the kangaroos, the real-life alien-looking mammals of Australia, but on the other? I do not know if we have talked about Boba Fett coming to the second season of ‘The Mandalorian’, but apparently, returning to SW he is. Yes, initially he had survived the Sarlacc pit from the SW6 film, cough, but then it all was declared a part of SW: Legends instead, and the SW fandom split… and we have talked about it in the past. In the present, Boba Fett returns to the galaxy far, far away after his Sarlacc-related misadventure after all, so this means that the entire schism of the SW fanbase by the ‘Legends’-related decision had been completely unnecessary and fully avoidable, but Disney wanted to part with the Lucas-connected time period of Lucasfilm™… and it achieved that – hence, the schism. Frankly, real life sucks, and real life humans, (myself included), are hardly any better…

…You know what? For now, this is it. We will talk more about them kangaroos later. See you all soon instead!

Quarantine entry #47 - May 7

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. In the world of imagination, things are not all right either – first the ‘Star Wars: Clone Wars’ cartoon series have ended, and secondly, so did the DC animated videos, which had begun way back when the ‘Flashpoint Paradox’, when the Barry Allen Flash – or some other Flash, I tend to get them all confused – broke time and created an alternate universe, much worse than the DC mainline… Now what?

Honestly, I have no idea – as we have discussed previously, the Disney/SW universe is still having issues, and the SW9 film had only made them worse. The SW: CW series were a good thing, mind you, but now they are finished, and that chapter of the SW saga has also ended.

As for the DC animated universe… I do not know. I’m not a big fan of DC, but I tried to follow it generally, and so I’m aware that the animated movies of that comic world have appeared relatively regularly throughout the ages, an heir to the (original) ‘Teen Titans’ and ‘Justice League’ cartoon series of the 90s and the early 2000s. They might be the reason why the ‘Young Justice’ TV cartoons never got off the ground properly – competition between similar species and all that – who knows? Now they are gone, and DC is left mainly with live action movies, (which are a mess), as well as live action TV series, (which are doing great). We will just have to wait and see what will come out of this conclusion yet.

…The ‘JLD: Apocalips’ film (or whatever it is truly called) itself will be discussed at a different time, so let’s talk about something else. How about geese?

They are waterfowl, birds from the Anatidae family, and relatives of ducks and swans. They differ from swans by being smaller, with shorter, straighter necks. They differ from ducks by being larger than they are, by having less sexual dimorphism than ducks have, (in geese, the female geese and the male ganders are colored much more similarly than the female ducks and the male drakes are in duck species), and by being more terrestrial.

I.e., out of the three groups of waterfowl – ducks, geese and swans, the ducks spend the most time in the water, and they find most of their food in the water as well. Contrary to some popular old beliefs, both swans and geese are omnivorous at most, with a strong herbivorous element – geese in particular are quite happy to survive on plant-based food, with only some animal-based supplements, (possibly caught in a nearby pond). The swans are similar, and both they and geese spend quite a large period of time on land, foraging there. They need water primarily for their young, to keep them safe from such predators as red foxes, coyotes, and – probably – large hawks and similar birds of prey, whereas ducks…

…Whereas ducks prefer to spend their time either in the water or at the water’s edge. They are quite smaller than the geese, let alone the swans, have notably shorter necks, and their legs are located further down towards the tail end of their bodies than in case of their swan and geese cousins, making them better swimmers, (though the grebes and the loons – neither of which are anatid birds – are better swimmers and worse land-walkers yet).  

Moreover, there are two main groups of ducks, (by layperson bird watchers’ standards) – the dabbling ducks and the diving ducks. The dabbling ducks are ducks like mallards (and especially the domestic ducks): they feed in shallower water, mostly on plant food, and they dabble – turn downside up in the water to pick up aquatic plant material, (primarily). The diving ducks dive outright, and they are the more carnivorous species of ducks – birds like the mergansers. They look different from the dabbling ducks and are not really domesticated, as their flesh is strongly fishy. So, where do the geese come into this?

…Aside from the three genera of ‘true’ geese, (Anser, Branta & Chen, or the grey, the black, and the white geese), there are also quite a few species of birds that are also called ‘geese’, but are not considered to be geese at all. Some of them, like the northern gannet/’Solan goose’, (a bird more closely related to the anhinga and the cormorant, FYI), don’t even look like geese at all, but most of them are anatid birds that look more like geese than ducks – only they are ducks instead, shelducks! More precisely, they are waterfowl of the Tadorna genus, and they are large, semi-terrestrial birds, somewhat in the middle between the ducks and the geese, an intermediate link of sorts. They behave more as how the geese do, but they have sexual dimorphism as the ducks do instead.

On the other end of the spectrum, we got the Coscoroba swan, a waterfowl endemic of the South America, which looks and acts like a ‘true’ swan, but is genetically more closely related to the so-called Cape Barren goose of south-east Australia and Tasmania instead. The mapping of the genetic relationships of various birds can get pretty weird, sometimes…

…Well, this is it for now, though. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #41 - May 1

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, but at least the province of Ontario is beginning to show signs of recovery, as at least some businesses are going to reopen next week, since it’s the first of May people, yay! April is over, and life is changing again. …So, what is my point?

Ah, yes, to further progress my escapism, I have rewatched the 2004 ‘Catwoman’ movie, and…

…And it is not that bad. Oh, sure, the depiction of the titular heroine is problematic and doesn’t really mesh with the entire underlying ‘girl power’ message that the C-2004 movie seems to push forwards, but on the other end, it’s not a horrifying mess that ‘Cats-2019’ have been, you know? The movie feels kind amateurish, the villains are not very impressive, but the same can be said for the first ‘Venom’ film, and now we are getting a second one and everyone is excited already, and not just because of cabin fever… where were we?

Ah yes, the Marvel movies of the early 2000s aren’t all that popular – ‘Daredevil’ was rather reminiscent of the ‘Batman’ films, (and yes, the Catwoman version in ‘Batman returns’ was better than the 2004 one, no argument), and as for ‘Electra’… it was really more style than substance, flashy to watch rather than fun, but… since then Marvel got itself together, (cough, Disney, cough), while DC didn’t. It is still a tangled mess, as the repeatedly delayed film about Batman, (the latest one) indicates. ‘The Fantabulous Emancipation of Harley Quinn’ is itself something of a ‘Suicide Squad’ reboot, (even if it is getting a ‘proper’ reboot now), and the underlying ‘girl power’ message… pause. Didn’t we already mention it in the subtext of C-2004?

…Yes, yes we did, and it looks like as if everything old is new again; Selina Kyle has apparently appeared on S2 of the ‘Harley Quinn’ cartoon series, which in itself is something of a reboot of the ‘Batman Animated Series’ of 1990s, which went through several transformations of its own, before it ended, (I’ve seen it personally). Put otherwise, of all the DC aspects, ‘Batman’ is one of the more enduring and versatile, even moreso than ‘Superman’, so to have it struggle is…disheartening to say the least. I have no idea where DC will go in the future, now that ‘The Fantabulous Emancipation’ is over, and everything is suspended by COVID-19, where everything is falling apart.

…Yes, now that it is May, things are coming to life once more, but still. DC had problems before COVID-19, so during and after… who knows?

In other news, I have also rewatched a DW S1 episode – ‘Knight vs. Pirate’. The pirate won, of course, but the knight had him working for it. Was it a fair episode? Yes, as the entire DW team were busy establishing if the basic firearms, (a flintlock pistol and the like) could penetrate the Medieval plate armor…and the answer is yes, it could and it can, but it was much dicier than in case of the more modern weapons, (19^th century onwards, I suppose). This episode of DW was all about the weapons and the warriors, and as such, it was one of the better ones. Anything else?

Here is another piece of my original fiction – hope that you will like it:

Once upon a time, there was a dog, who lived in the kennel. Though the kennel had no furnace, the dog's fur kept him warm, and since he did a good job of keeping various thieves and blackguards out, he was well fed as well...

"Screw this!" said the dog as he looked over the author's drabble take of him. "I'm a dog! Man's oldest companion and best friend! Surely, I could get something bigger than just a drabble - a story, maybe, or a sequence of them..." He looked around, as he scratched himself behind an ear in a thoughtful way. "Maybe I could do some sort of a crossover, even..."

The dog looked around; he sniffed around and he walked around the enclosure of his drabble, which was supposed to be a yard. He tested the borders of his drabble, examining the entire fourth wall concept, until he got the idea of the lay of the land, so to speak, and he also tried to figure out as to where his story was going to go, because he also felt kind of lonely, (domestic dogs are social animals, as is their close cousin the grey wolf, and don't like to be by themselves, period), until he finally made a decision.

///

Once upon a time, there was a cat, who lived in the house. She caught a mouse in the cellar and was rewarded with milk, while her kitten, who was too young to appreciate milk properly - her mother could always give it to her fresh - was busy playing around the house, being a nuisance to everyone else, but a lovable one...

...And then the window into their room slash house opened wide, and the dog looked inside. "Hello there, neighbor!" he spoke in a particularly dopey way, which was typical of overly enthusiastic canines. "Doing anything currently?"

"Hello!" the kitten called back cheerfully. "Hi there, neighbor! And what are you doing?"

"Young lady!" the mama cat was far more defensive and less enthusiastic. "Behave yourself! And you," she turned to the dog, "what are you doing? The human owners will catch you at any moment-"

"Nuh-uh," the dog did not back down. "There are no humans, not right now - the author didn't put them into their drabbles, not yet! Anyways, I am going to break borders through our original fandom and another one - could you two please come along with me? It'll be lonely on my own-"

The mama cat looked decisively unimpressed by the dog's plea - cats and dogs don't constantly fight, but neither do they always get along, plus unlike dogs, cats are individualist creatures and don't do large social gatherings...unless they want to, (and there's catnip involved. When there's catnip involved, all bets are off).

"I don't know, mister," the kitten spoke up suddenly. "Mama doesn't really like to travel and to have adventures. Maybe you can come in and play with me - I mean, with us, instead?"

The dog thought this over for a bit. "Sure!" he finally agreed, and jumped into the house through the window, right onto the carpet, where he gave himself a good shake, shaking himself clean. Well, cleaner. The kitten giggled and imitated him to an extent; the mama cat just stared.

The dog stared back. For a while, the two grown-ups just looked at each other, clearly trying to establish some sort of a telepathic communication slash argument. The kitten just looked at them, feeling rather worried - she did not like it when the grown-ups fought.

"So where are we going?" the mother cat suddenly changed her tactics.

"Yay! We're going on a trip!" the kitten mewed enthusiastically. "Thank you mama!" and she hugged her mom.

"Yes, well, even a trip is better than having our... neighbor here," the older feline mewed. "Also, where are we going?"

"Oh, I got it all figured out!" the dog replied brightly, as he reached out and pulled the fourth wall between this original fandom and the next one...

///

"...Wow, where are we?" the kitten mewed delightfully as she pranced around the grassland - literally. Well, no - literally speaking they were in a savanna, complete with long grass and trees that were more tropical than the ones that grew in the forest that was located beyond their village...

"In Africa," the dog said brightly, as he sniffed around one of the trees in question. "Smell, or see, this one? It's an acacia tree-!"

"Yay!" said the kitten and immediately began to climb it. Her mother was far less amused.

"You!" she told their new acquaintance. "You! You man! Do you know as to who lives here?"

"Your relatives?" the dog suggested brightly, as he pointed out to a lion in the distance. (So far, the latter was more interested in a herd of zebras and was ignoring the disturbance, not that the smaller mammals minded that, king of the beasts and all).

The mother cat looked at the king of beasts in question and her ears went flat. "You!" she switched her attention back to the dog. "You! You bachelor! You bachelor man! You self-designated bachelor- dog-! You!"

"Mama!" And the kitten (of whom the mother cat had kind of forgotten, cough), fell from an acacia branch - she did not have too much experience at climbing trees yet, and right onto the dog.

There was a pause as the trio tried to get their bearings together, because reasons. "See, mommy? I landed on my feet, as a big cat!" the kitten said brightly, switching her mental gears really easily, and doing her best to sound innocent, too.

The mother cat was not impressed - mothers often are not. That said...

"Right," she spoke finally. "Let's go and walk around here for a while - gently. We can play and all but do so quietly, and without making a commotion. Understood this, both of you did?" she asked, sounding a bit like the older version of Yoda, (not the new baby one).

Instead of commenting on this, however, the other two just nodded in understanding, and this was that: the not exactly dynamic trio went on for a walk through the acacia grove and had many adventures, both here and elsewhere - but that was another story.

End.

Did you like it? All comments and criticisms are welcome! I will see you all soon!