New story - April 16

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, my phone is especially acting up, and DD is being his regular awesome self, so here's something different - a new story, eh?

Kaleen did not just walk; he marched. Every step was a heavy thud against the sun-baked dirt of the hilly country, a rhythmic stomping that sent dust motes dancing around his boots. He ignored the rolling beauty of the boulders and the hardy shrubs that clung to the slopes. His mind was a storm of irritation, focused entirely on the path ahead—or rather, the lack of one.

 

He was passing a jagged fissure in the hillside, a dark mouth of a cave that smelled of cool earth and old stone. He did not glance at it. He did not care what lived in the shadows.

 

A sharp, melodic whistle pierced the air.

 

Kaleen stopped. He turned slowly, his brow furrowed in a deep scowl. Standing at the cave’s entrance was a woman. She was striking, leaning against the stone with a beckoning finger and a knowing smirk.

 

Kaleen did not move toward her. He did a double take, blinking as if trying to clear his vision, and then barked, "Did you see anyone else passing by here? Another woman? Looking rather like me? As Tall as I am? Trailing a scent of betrayal and bad decisions, perhaps?"

 

The woman’s smirk faltered. She blinked, her head tilting in genuine confusion. This was not the usual reaction to her lure. She gave a slow, bewildered shake of her head.

 

"Great," Kaleen grumbled. "Helpful."

 

He turned on his heel and began to stomp away again.

 

Whiz—CRACK.

 

A rock the size of a fist shattered against a boulder inches from his head. Kaleen spun around, his hand instinctively dropping to the heavy belt at his waist.

 

The woman stood there, her arm still extended from the throw. She looked remarkably sheepish, her expression a mix of "I can’t believe I just did that" and "don't you dare leave." She gestured vaguely, almost desperately, toward the darkness of the cave.

 

Kaleen sighed, a sound like a leaking bellows. "Do you need help or something?"

 

She did not speak, but her eyes held a frantic sort of pull. Grumbling under his breath about his own misplaced sense of duty, Kaleen trudged toward the cave and stepped inside.

 

The interior was vast, an amphitheater of shadows that stretched far beyond what the exterior suggested. Kaleen turned to ask what the problem was, but the woman was already gone.

 

In her place, a nightmare uncoiled.

 

From the waist down, she was a thick, muscular coil of emerald and obsidian scales. She hissed, her jaw unhinging to reveal long, curved fangs dripping with venom. She lunged, her movements a blur of predatory grace.

 

Kaleen did not scream. He did not even draw a weapon. He simply reached out and caught her by the shoulders.

 

The hybrid thrashed, her tail whipping against the cave floor, but Kaleen stood like a mountain. His arms were locked, keeping her snapping jaws exactly three feet from his face. He looked profoundly bored.

 

"Are you done?" he asked.

 

She hissed again, snapping her fangs at the air. Kaleen rolled his eyes and gave her a firm, two-handed shove. He stepped back, centered his weight, and took a deep, shuddering breath.

 

The air in the cave suddenly felt heavy. A low, grinding sound—the sound of shifting chitin—echoed through the chamber.

 

The snake-woman froze. Her slit-pupiled eyes widened as the man before her vanished, replaced in a heartbeat by a hulking shadow. A giant scorpion, easily twice her size, stood over her. Its carapace was the color of dried blood, and its massive stinger hummed with a lethal, iridescent glow.

 

The hybrid did not fight. She turned and scrambled for the nearest wall, her fingers digging into the cracks as she tried to scale the vertical stone.

 

She felt a weight beneath her. Kaleen—human once more—was grunting as he shoved her upward by her scaled backside, helping her reach a high ledge.

 

"Get up there then, if you're so scared," he muttered.

 

She perched on the ledge, looking down at him with a mix of fury and intense embarrassment.

 

"I'll ask one more time," Kaleen said, dusting off his hands. "Did you see anyone else?"

 

"No!" she snapped her voice high and sharp.

 

Kaleen nodded, satisfied in a grim sort of way. He turned to leave.

 

"Wait!" she hissed, her hand darting out to grab his tunic. "Did you... did you understand me? When I called to you?"

 

"Yes," Kaleen said, looking over his shoulder. "Why shouldn't I?"

 

"Because I whistle," she whispered, her eyes searching his. "People can understand. They just... come."

 

Kaleen groaned. "Is this some sort of woman-logic thing?"

 

"No," she said, her voice dropping an octave. "It’s part of my curse."

 

Kaleen went still. "Gods? Or some other magic?"

 

"...Gods," she admitted.

 

"Right. Figures. For my former companion and me it was 'some other magic.' A botched ritual, a temple collapsing... the usual mess. Well, anyhow—"

 

"Can you help me?" she interrupted. The aggression was gone, replaced by a small, fragile voice. "Can you break it?"

 

Kaleen looked at the exit, then back at her. "You tried to kill me."

 

"It’s my nature," she pleaded, her tail twitching nervously. "Besides... we are similar. Both monsters."

 

Kaleen’s expression darkened. "My former companion said something similar. Right before she abandoned me to deal with the fallout."

 

"Please?"

 

Kaleen closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Let's go, before the giant tortoise arrives."

 

The snake-woman paused, her head tilting. "Say what?"

 

He led her out of the cave and up to the crest of the highest hill. From there, the world opened up. He pointed to a jagged silhouette of ruins on the horizon—the place where his life had gone sideways. Then, he pointed down into the valley.

 

Moving with a slow, terrifying inevitability was a tortoise. It was the size of a small manor house, its shell covered in jagged moss-covered ridges. Its eyes were fixed on the hillside, and it looked—even from this distance—utterly, cosmically pissed off.

 

"It’s tracking us," Kaleen explained. "Don't ask why. It's just very, very angry."

 

The woman looked at the beast, then at the distant horizon where her own salvation supposedly lay. She explained the location of the shrine she needed to reach, but her shoulders slumped. "I can't get there in time. I am too slow. On the open ground... I'm slower than that turtle."

 

Kaleen looked at the giant tortoise, then at the snake-woman. He let out a long, weary sigh.

 

"Get moving," he said, gesturing toward the path. "I'll help you. But we have to move before that overgrown pebble catches our scent."

 

Therefore, the scorpion and the serpent began their trek across the dirt, two cursed souls walking away from one monster and toward another.

So, what are your opinions? Please share!

Quarantine entry #95 - June 24

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. ‘Barkskins’ have finished their run for now, and few people have acknowledged them – it’s a pity, because they were a very good novel adaptation/historical drama TV series. However, they were not very popular, or rather – this genre is not very popular right now, and so ‘Barkskins’ remain very much obscure for now. What next?

Yesterday was the U.S.’ primaries’ voting, (we are talking June 23, 2020 here), and I have to ask: how did the U.S.’ ‘civil unrest’, (let us live the COVID-19 out of the equation for now) affect the voting? Seriously! Especially since we are talking New York and all, where the unrest in question was especially bad. The mass media is keeping mum on that now, just as it does about Seattle, where there was some sort of a leftist commune there; an armed leftist commune, I should add.

But no – the mass media is keeping quiet about it; instead, they’re talking about politics, about elections, about the Donald and his clan beginning to fight his niece Mary for real, as she is releasing, or trying to release, her own book about the Donald, the Trump family, and the presidency. Fun! Or not, since this is the clan that the U.S. has to live with, and the rest of the world has to live with the U.S.

…Or not, since people are still trying to find alternatives to the U.S.’ global hegemony; China, the RF, and the EU are all ‘viable’ alternatives. Idiots! History has its’ own cycles, and it states that after every peak – a semi-global empire – comes a fall, which results in a multitude of small states, (or city-states, whatever), during which the planet recuperates, (however partially), from the whatever damage the human civilization was able to inflict upon it, and everything starts anew. Right now, we are living it, as the COVID-19 and its’ side-effects/after effects demonstrate; already, some human projects are being put on hold… pause.

Yes, by now the global human society is beginning to emerge from the initial global lockdown, initiated in the first half of 2020. But already there’s the beginning of a talk about the second wave of COVID-19, which means things are going to snap back into a lockdown position… or not, and I honestly don’t know which is worse – the devil that we know, (namely the lockdown with all of its flaws), or the one we don’t, (aka if we don’t go back into the lockdown and the second wave of COVID-19 hits for real). What is left?

…Yes, by now, humans are pissed about the lockdown, and a part of the entire civil unrest, (primarily in the U.S. – in Canada it was somewhat different), was because of it – people want it to end, they want out! …Ok, now they are out, and what next? If all of those conspiracy theories are false, then COVID-19 is not going away anywhere, and people will continue to die – maybe at a more intense rate, maybe not, but regardless, they will continue to die. And if COVID-19 does go away, then all of those conspiracy theories are true, however partially, and things for humans will get even worse. Anything else?

Well, actually, today I wanted to revisit out friends the turtles today, just because, but then I came across a news article on ‘The Atlantic’ about how the MLP: FIM fandom has acquired Nazi elements and doesn’t know what to do with them, and how it equates with NASCAR having a lot of racist elements in it still, and I got to admit that any world that has a fandom of small, talking, colorful ponies/horses acquire outright Nazi elements in it, (the MLP-fandom doesn’t really deny it), is a weird one to live in, and while it might suck, I still won’t switch it for any fictional one.

…Well, this is it for now – see you all soon!

Quarantine entry #85 - June 14

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. By now, the American people have started to realize that their ‘civil unrest’ is unhealthy in so many ways and are trying to tone it down instead, but that is hard; in Seattle, in particular, there’s some sort of a ‘leftist’ people’s republic or something. Forget U.S.S.R. – this is right out of the 19^th century, when proto-communists of France and the rest of Europe took over Paris and declared a commune. It didn’t hold, because by then the communists, socialists etc. of Europe and especially of France were very different of their 18^th century predecessors – remember them? …No, you probably do not, but if you ever read about the French revolutions and France’s revolutionary history, you will see the difference. What is next?

Let us get back to our old fan favorite, the turtle/tortoise/terrapin. Right now, they are probably the oldest order of reptiles. (Unless they are parareptiles or something like that instead. Scientists are not sure anymore). There are more than 230 species of turtles, supposedly, and they live in all sorts of ecosystems, except for the Arctic, the Antarctic, and the mountains. They are instantly recognizable from everything else, (differentiating different species of turtles from each other can be trickier), but each turtle group has its’ own personal quirks. In particular, the terrapins, (or freshwater turtles), usually have smooth shells and legs and feet adapted for swimming and climbing – they are both clawed and webbed. There are some odd ones in that group, however, such as the snapping turtles and the matamata – these turtles may be some of the most basic turtles, and cannot even withdraw their heads beneath their shells because of anatomical reasons.

…Actually, about that. Most turtles withdraw their heads beneath their shells straight on – just look at the tortoises from a pet store. They are called cryptodires, aka ‘hidden necks’. However, some turtles, especially freshwater ones, cannot do these, and put their necks and heads beneath their shells sideways – hence their name, pleurodires. They are considered to be less derived than their cryptodire cousins are.

Back to the turtles proper. The terrestrial turtles, or tortoises, usually have high, domed shells, and legs and feet adapted for walking on, and digging into, the ground. They are also the most herbivorous of all the turtles… though yes, probably because they are too slowly to catch anything alive – their freshwater cousins are the proportionally faster ones out of the two groups. The term ‘tortoise’ is more restrictive than the term ‘turtle’, and these days, most people prefer the latter to both ‘tortoise’ and ‘terrapin’.

…On the other hand, the term ‘turtle’ is more often referred to the group that is called ‘the sea turtles’, (no duh!), which are instantly recognizable – both from the other reptiles and the other turtles. (Captain Obvious says come on!) They are the smallest group of those ancient reptiles, but also, some of the most physically big modern reptiles; they are certainly more massive than most of other reptiles, (including some of the smaller crocodiles and caimans). As a result, these marine giants come ashore only to lay eggs…which is where their problems began, as humans kill them for their eggs, meat, and shells. Therefore, most sea turtles are endangered; actually, most of the turtles are endangered, both from human hunting and from habitat destruction; ‘Lonesome George’, anyone?.. What next?

…The tide has turned, people have started to help turtles – sea turtles and otherwise – to survive. So far, it is a mixed bag, because Earth’s ecology has changed considerably since humans arrived at the global scene with a bang and an Industrial revolution, and who knows what else. Bad news for the rest of Earth’s animals (and plants), I suppose, but that is real life. It sucks, COVID-19 or not.

Well, this is it for now. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #63 - May 23

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Just look at the grey wolf – one day it is a part of the native ecosystem, the next – they are villains in the script written by the Europeans and their North American descendants, and right now, the wolves are still very much in the grey, pardon the intended pun. What next?

…So, ‘The Lovebirds’. Now that they were released, we can talk about them, and what can be said about this movie? …It is inane. Pause.

Now, here is the thing. ‘The Wrong Missy’ was just… wrong. It is politically deaf, probably not very correct either, and outright grating, even if you keep ‘me too’ issues out of the bracket. ‘The Lovebirds’ aren’t anywhere as extreme – they’re a direct spoof of the various mystery/action movies, just as the ‘Spies in Disguise’ 2019 film was a parody of the spies movies, and ‘Onward’ (2020) – of various fantasy films. Pause.

…Yes, this is already a mixed bag, as ‘Onward’ seems to be a rather more popular film than the ‘Spies’ were, but both of them are rather forgettable – you watch them once or twice and move on. And ‘The Lovebirds’?

‘The Lovebirds’ are birds of a feather, even if they are live-action rather CGI. Featuring an interracial couple, (real life says ‘how cute!’), who were drifting apart but now they have to work together or they are doomed, this movie aimed to entertain and amuse – nothing more. The titular characters half-wander and half-blunder from one episode to the next, and you are left exasperated – why are you rooting for them?

…To be certain, are not as bad as ‘The Wrong Missy’, ‘Doolittle-2020’, let alone ‘Cats-2019’. It just isn’t truly good either – at best it is light-hearted comedy, at worst, it is inane, with more style than substance, and that style isn’t very everyone, you know?..

On the other hand, given how real life sucks, how its’ narrative is so poorly written lately, maybe this sort of comedy is what we all require right now; for those, who want something different, PBS is released its’ own nature mini-series, based on its ‘Spy in the wild’ series, i.e. a nature documentary, and does this bring us back to the natural world?

…On the other-other hand, NG will present ‘Barkskins’, a TV series adaptation of the 2016 novel with the same title, of life in New France, aka the French colony in what has now become Canada. I admit that I’m of mixed feelings here – such adaptations tend to be a mixed bag depending on way too many variables… but it is certainly something different from the aforementioned ‘Lovebirds’ and co., who aren’t bad, just forgettable. (Unlike, say, a scolopendra centipede). Anything more?

I admit that I wanted to talk about turtles once again today. As probably the oldest reptiles of the modern world, they are fascinating creatures, and endangered ones, as humans have fed on them and their eggs to near-extinction; actually, some species – the biggest ones – have become extinct for real, and the smaller tortoises are also in trouble due to the exotic pet trade.

…Yes, I know – we have discussed this – how the terms ‘turtle’, ‘tortoise’ and ‘terrapin’ are interchangeable… to a limit. When I was young and went to an animal-lovers’ club for a couple of years, we had a lot of terrestrial tortoises, and a single terrapin, (I do not know the species), in an aquarium/terrarium combo. The two reptiles looked quite different – the terrapin’s shell was much smoother, much more hydrodynamic, and it was not released from its’ enclosure anywhere as often as its’ terrestrial cousins did. Ah, the nostalgia of the past!..

…For the present, though, this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #32 - April 22

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. However, sometimes, it is also insane, and no, I am not talking about G.W., the asshole gunman from Nova Scotia, Canada. Rather, I am talking about the U.S., whose state of Missouri, will be suing the Chinese People Republic, (aka plain old China), over the COVID-19. Do not know what will come out of it, do not know if anything will come out of it, but sue China Missouri does.

In other news, the new installment of ‘Penny Dreadful’ – the ‘city of Angels’ – has aired a couple of days ago; sadly, I’m not the biggest fan of the series, so I’m in position to judge as to whether it will be a good or a bad show, so what is left?

Turtles, really. Last time we talked about squirrels, so this time – let us talk about the chelonians! Pause.

Let us start again. The term ‘turtle’ defines all of the reptiles of the order Testudines, all of which have a bony or a cartilaginous shell that acts as a defensive shield against predators, whether they are sharks or raccoons. However, this order also contains 14 extant groups with 356 species, (currently), and they differ from each other… how?

Firstly, there are ‘turtles’, as in ‘sea turtles’, some of the biggest chelonians that there are, (or were, as in case of the now-extinct Archelon, the biggest chelonian ever, up-to-date). Such reptiles live only in seas and have flippers, instead of feet. The biggest of them, the leatherback, might be the biggest modern chelonian, and the most massive one. All of sea turtles still come ashore to lay eggs, (more about that later, maybe).

Secondly, there are the ‘tortoises’. These chelonians live only on land, almost fully vegetarian, and are the proverbial tortoises, as in ‘Aesop’s fable of the hare vs. the tortoise’. These reptiles have domed shells, can withdraw their heads inside, (while the sea turtles cannot), and were sold as pets quite often during the 20^th century at least. However, they also include such giants as the Galapagos giant tortoise, which is one of the biggest land reptiles of the modern age.

Finally, there are terrapins. As a rule, they are freshwater chelonians, superficially similar to tortoises, but their feet are webbed, and their claws are more adapted for grabbing than for walking; plus, they are much more carnivorous out of the two groups. Technically saying, the snapping turtles are really terrapins, only…

…Only the above-depicted classification aside, the ‘word’ turtle is often used for all of the above-mentioned reptiles, regardless of where they live and what anatomical details are particular to them. This is not just the case of the English language, but in other languages too – ‘Tortuga’ in Spanish, ‘черепаха’ in Russian, and so on. The more scientific analogue of these names is chelonian, so I will try to use it from now on. Anything else?

Hard to say. Of all the reptiles, the chelonians’ behavior is the most primitive, but humans do not care – they eat their flesh and eggs, and out of their shells, they make various household items, such as combs. This sucks, because even by the modern conservative estimates, the chelonians have existed since the mid-Jurassic – i.e., they lived alongside dinosaurs, and have outlived them, (modern birds aside). It would be a pity if they would die-out now, because of pouching, habitat destruction, and introduction of alien species the entire world instead. (As it was in case of the Galapagos tortoises – introduced goats competed with them for food, while rats, cats and dogs ate their eggs and young… on top of humans doing the same thing, cough). Real life may suck, because of COVID-19 and all, but still, let us try to be considerate, shall we?..

…Well, this is it for now; see you all soon!