Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. On top of everything
else, my summer allergies are beginning to act up, and no one needs that,
believe me! So, let us turn away from the reality – given that lately a
Pakistani plane has crashed, with 100 people on board or so, no one needs more
reality news, I am afraid – and turn to… Netflix.
No, we are not talking yet about ‘The Lovebirds’ – let’s
talk about ‘The Wrong Missy’ instead. Supposedly, it is the ‘Forgetting Sarah
Marshall’ movie, but without the good aspects. Some other people have compared
it to ‘Shallow Hal’ – pause.
Here is the thing. ‘Shallow Hal’ was not as politically
correct as the modern movies may be, but neither is ‘The Wrong Missy’. Moreover,
out of the two films, ‘The Wrong Missy’ is the more jarring one out of the two.
The humor is crude, the titular character – played by Ms. Lapkus – is especially
crude, and the male lead is lukewarm, to say the least. Pause.
…Does anyone think that it is wrong or even odd, that a
30-year-old female lead is playing across a male lead who is in his 50s? No?
Carry on. The male leading character is a bland milquetoast bitch who has no
defining features at all, (especially in the first part of the movie), so why
did ‘The Wrong Missy’ latch onto him? Is she a desperate ‘unmarried woman’?
Ha-ha, my splitting sides, guess we’re done with the entire ‘me too’ and the
rest of the ‘girl power’ topics for now, now that Hillary is done and gone, and
the Donald wasn’t too affected by all the parades, protests, and what else you
can you the letter p for.
…Back in the movie, we got ‘The Wrong Missy’, who clearly
has many issues that she should take care, but obviously, she never does, and
so she comes across as a woman with a lot of issues and a low self-esteem… that
she buries under a busload – or a boatload, use whichever measure is bigger –
of crazy and so she proceeds to drive most of people away from her, leaving ‘The
Wrong Missy’ in company of such people as the male lead, who is simply
emasculated in a political correctness manner done wrong. The man is clearly a
moron – he hated his first date with the titular heroine, so why did he even
kept her number? What, was the erasure of it some sort of defiance in face of
the relative who would set him up with ‘The Wrong Missy’ and we couldn’t have
that, because reasons?
…For the most part of ‘The Wrong Missy’, the titular
character is more obnoxious than sympathetic, and you almost feel sorry for the
male lead, but you know what? He asked for this himself by keeping the titular
heroine’s numbers, and so he got to reap it all, the good and the bad; good
riddance to bad rubbish and sorry for Ms. Lapkus to star in such a tire fire of
a film. Anything else?
…’The Lovebirds’ are a somewhat different movie, and we will
talk about them some other time; right now, I want to talk about the sloths. No,
not the cardinal sin in question, but the tree-dwelling mammals that are named
after it, I reckon. The sloths are not exactly living by human standards, but
their life pace is slow, even if you compare them to the non-human animals
instead. Ergo, so what?
Well, the truth is that apparently the two groups of sloths are
not very closely related at all. The three-toed sloths, (four species), are
some of the ancient sloths, (alive and extinct), while the two-toed sloths,
(two species), are some of the more modern ones, much more closely related to
such extinct ground sloths as Megatherium,
(featured in the 5th episodes of ‘Walking with Beasts’), and Nothronychus, (aka the Shasta ground
sloth in the 2nd episode of ‘Wild New World’).
…The Megatherium
deserves a mention here also because just like the currently extinct giant,
though yes, there’s a possibility that it’d survived in South America, giving
rise to the legends about the Mapinguari, but I’m not certain – the latter seems
to fluctuate from a realistic cryptid to an outright fairy tale ogre, with
everything in-between… but that isn’t the point, the point is that just like
the Megatherium, the two-toed sloths
are more omnivorous: while the three-toed sloths are strict herbivores, the
two-toed sloths eat some animal matter as well. Isn’t nature weird and grand?
…Well, this is it for now, though – see you all soon
instead!
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