D:BA and dire wolves - April 9

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, but then Colossal Biosciences Company threw dire wolves at us. Pause.

Initially, I intended to discuss the penultimate S1 Daredevil episode, which had Bullseye coming back, and Murdock (Daredevil) taking a bullet for Fisk (Kingpin) because of reasons? Apparently? Does anyone care about those two anymore anyhow? Dire wolves are more interesting than MCU, these days.

…Of course, these days, at least some news outlets discuss with an authentic feeling, who makes a better jam and/or spread – king Charles III of Great Britain or Megan Markle, his younger daughter-in-law. Seriously, and compared to this sort of news, MCU’s D: BA show is cutting-edge political drama or something along those lines. Nevertheless, what about the dire wolves?

…I am a sceptic when it came to CB’s claims. See, while the RL dire wolf (let us leave Westeros out of this, the topic is already quite confusing), is a true canine, (as opposed to a bear-dog, a bear, or any other kind of mammal carnivore), it also belonged to a completely different genus than the modern wolves do. However, so what?

See, even CB admits (sort of) that their dire wolves – Romulus, Remus, and Khaleesi – are not exactly purebred dire wolves, more like grey wolf/dire wolf hybrids. Eh? The problem with that statement that in nature hybrids occur only between animals that share the same genus, albeit belonging to different species. Pause.

Let us try again. We are talking only about mammals here; in other animal groups, such as birds (say, songbirds), or amphibians (such as the tailed salamanders) the hybrid situation might be quite different, but along the mammals? Either it works or it does not.

See for yourselves. On one hand, we have horses and donkeys, whose hybrids are sterile and can’t really make a new species; big cats, whose hybrids aren’t sterile but can’t survive in the wild due to health-related reasons; and the two species of the gnu antelope, whose hybrid offspring also aren’t sterile but have plenty of health defects that they die quickly enough. Pause.

On other hand, we have the beluga and the narwhale whales, for example, or the better-known polar and grizzly brown bears, whose hybrid offspring are viable and are increasing in numbers. The wolf branch of the wild dog family, incidentally, is in this boat too, as the various coyote/grey wolf/domestic dog hybrids of eastern North America are growing more numerous and are establishing their own independent populations…

That said, those wild dogs are all in the Canis genus, while the extinct dire wolf is not, not anymore, at least not at the moment. In addition, if you look at the related animals that belong to different genera, they do not form hybrids – just look at rhinos or elephants, for example. African and Asian elephants do not hybridize, not even in captivity, unlike the big cats, and the black and white rhinos of Africa do not hybridize – unlike the feral domestic dogs and the Ethiopian wolf. The latter is a separate, albeit related, species to the grey wolf of the northern hemisphere – the term ‘wolf’ covers almost two dozen animal species, living and extinct, most of whom are related to each other (i.e. they’re canines), but some are not…

Where were we? Right, the DNA of the dire wolf isn’t in as a good a condition as that of the woolly mammoth is – what’s left of the dire wolf are mainly fossilized bones, teeth, and the like. Extracting DNA from them, even if the dire wolf was in the same genus as the grey wolf, doesn’t guarantee success; the fact that the surrogate mothers were domestic dogs, aka a third canine species, separate from the other two (I’m going with this theory), only complicated the situation: how did their pregnancies go? How did the births go? Did the mothers survive or not? However, no, all we get are sterilized reports of a success, and automatic reactions to those reports. Neither is a reliable source of information and so far no one outside of CB has much to go on. Still…

Remember Ms. Nicole from my last week’s entry? Or rant, whatever. As it was said, she was hired by CB, or something similar to make six videos about mass extinctions; so far, two of them were aired, but we talked about this; the point is that one would expect her to jump onto the dire wolf promotion bandwagon, because CB are her employers or something, but no. She is keeping mum about them instead and seems to have outright distanced herself from the CB. Does she know something about this that we do not? Maybe, maybe not, but I, for one, am sceptical of just what CB’s latest wolf pups are. Real life does suck, but sometimes it is less sucky and more complex and complicated instead…

This is it for now. See you all soon!

D:BA, Season premiere - March 5

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about the premiere of D: BA instead. Holy gazongas, Batman – it’s ‘YFNSM’, just for an older audience!

Work with me, people: if ‘X-Men ‘97’ were all about nostalgia, Easter eggs, and exposition, (and almost always the titular heroes were fighting a faceless mob of opponents rather than someone specific), then ‘YFNSM’ was all about exposition and depiction – unlike the 90s Spider-Man series, the titular character of this show was constantly exposed to new foes; ‘YFNSM’ was all about new depiction of old characters – something of a reboot, put otherwise; the later seasons of AoS did something similar… In addition, D: BA is doing the same thing – so far, it is mostly rebooting the old characters… though it does introduce some new ones.

One of the more important ones is Mrs. Fisk, aka Wilson’s wife. In the 90s cartoon (Earth-92131, if anyone cares), she was mostly an episodic character; she would divorce Fisk in time, and because Fisk loved her, he let her get away with it too. Earth-92131 is worth mentioning both because it depicted the Fisk son, (a criminal but nowhere near the Kingpin’s levels of danger), and it had Spider-Man team-up with Daredevil in order to clear-up his name (both as himself and as Peter) and to put the abovementioned son into jail. Somehow, for a cartoon, it did a good job of depicting Fisk’s levels of danger better than the life-action series do.

The other important character is Josie – she runs the bar where Daredevil and co. hangout. Admittedly, I am mentioning only because I remember her from the original Daredevil and Electra films (Earth-701306), and believe that she deserves recognition, simply because she is alive and Foggy’s dead.

Foggy is Daredevil’s (ok, Matt’s) legal partner. I was never particularly fond of MCU’s take on him, how they depicted him, (the abovementioned Earth-701306 did a better job, I feel), and now, he is dead. In Marvel-verse, few characters stay dead for long, though in MCU death tends to be final, but I am still holding my fingers crossed. Anything else?

Yes, we are introduced to some new characters, such as a White Tiger, (various characters held this moniker in the Marvel world, some via an amulet of power, others not), but for the moment, D: BA is trying to find its’ feet and it does a good job – just not too different from ‘YFNSM’, surface differences aside. Will it succeed or not is still an open question.

For now though, this is it. So far, I am re-watching TBBT, and it is not bad, though it is not good – but this is a story for another time. See you all soon!

About super-sized sauropods

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so we will talk about a magazine – i.e., ‘Scientific American’ – instead.

There is an article in the ‘Scientific American’ Sep 2023 issue, discussing sauropod dinosaurs and as to why some of them got super-big. The author proclaims that it is a mystery; I am no paleontologist, but I feel that I have a theory, here: it was a number of factors.

Why do animals do anything? Moreover, why do they evolve in the wild? To secure an advantage over competitors and predators/prey; a bigger body size is par de course here.

What are the advantages of being big, (super-big)? You get access to food sources that are unavailable to other herbivores, and predators are not as big of a threat to you, (pun intended). Conversely, though, you also need more food than the other herbivores do, and carnivores will eventually evolve their own adaptations, physical or behavioristic, that will even the score between them and a super-big herbivore. Let us widen the query.

What are the factors that allow the initial growth of super-size? An abundance of food, plant matter in the sauropods’ case. Wait. There is an arms’ race between plants and herbivores, just as there is one between them and the carnivores. In addition, just as some herbivores, (i.e. African [and Asian] elephants), get big to escape predators, (i.e. African lions and tigers), so do some plants get big in an attempt to ‘escape’ the elephants, (such as the baobab trees). The twist? This strategy does not work on all of the levels: under right conditions, elephants can bring down a baobab tree, (literally, topple it over), while a pride of lions can bring down an African elephant, (again under right conditions and circumstances). What is absent here?

Space. The more space there is, the more individual specimens of any given species occupy it. True, it does not necessarily mean getting big: a pine tree in a forest grows tall and thin, with its’ top high above the ground – a pine tree in a clearing grows shorter and squatter, with its’ top spread out wider than its’ crowded counterpart’s… but we digress. The point of this discussion is that just as modern elephants, (and baobab trees), got big because of several factors, so did the prehistoric sauropods…and trees, (or tree-like plants), that they ate. What else?

Right, not all of the sauropods evolved into super-sized plant eaters, some remained smaller. What about it?

First: sauropods evolved as bulk-feeders: their teeth and jaws were not designed for chewing, but for stripping foliage from branches, and for uprooting other plants whole. Another part of the reason as to why sauropods became the largest of the dinosaurs, extinct and modern, was because they had to become big to accommodate large and massive digestive systems that were almost constantly busy, because foliage, (as well as grass), isn’t very nutritious at all, and it has to be consumed in large amounts to satisfy not just hunger, but nutritious requirements of an organism.

Well, yes, but again, not all of the herbivorous dinosaurs got so big: even Jurassic ornithischians, such as Stegosaurus, never got as big as the sauropods did. That is correct, and it is competition again: by becoming big, the sauropods overshadowed their competitors: they could feed in places unavailable to the bird-hipped herbivores, and they were relatively immune to attacks to such theropods as Allosaurus, Torvosaurus, and Saurophaganax. That said, there was differentiation between the Jurassic sauropods themselves: some, like Diplodocus, were longer than they were tall, and their hips were taller than their shoulders – these dinosaurs could sit down on their hind legs alone, (forming a tripod with their tails), and be, well, construction cranes.

Other sauropods, like Brachiosaurus, were taller than they were long, and their shoulders were taller than their hips. They probably could also form a fulcrum tripod, but less well than Diplodocus and its’ relatives could, not that they needed too – they already were tall, taller than Diplodocus normally was.

Finally, there were less specialized sauropods, such as Camarasaurus, which were neither too tall nor too long, but just big, and fed on whatever Diplodocus would feed, but less well, and on whatever Brachiosaurus would feed, but less well. What is the moral?

We move on from the Jurassic to the Cretaceous and the world of the dinosaurs’ changes. The single super-continent of the Triassic and part of the Jurassic is gone, there are now two landmasses, Laurasia in the north and Gondwana in the south, and they are splitting as well. In the north, sauropods are practically gone, with some singular generalized species, such as Alamosaurus, remaining. In the south, they are flourishing, however…

However, Gondwana would eventually fall apart, as did Laurasia. The latter formed Eurasia and North America; the former – Africa, Australia, Antarctic, and South America, and it is in the last continent that the sauropods would reach their last peak of variety. Why? Because there were fewer bird-hipped dinosaurs in South America than elsewhere. In Africa and Australia, for example, there were such dinosaurs as Ouranosaurus and Muttaburrasaurus, smaller plant-eaters that were intermediate between the earlier iguanodonts and the true hadrosaurs, (like Edmontosaurus). If the sauropods depended on their guts to grind down and digest their food, the bird-hipped dinosaurs, (and especially the hadrosaurs and their kin), had more effective chewing systems than the sauropods did; they were better adapted to digest the new plants, (the first flowering plants appeared in the Early Cretaceous, just as the sauropods began to disappear), and they were able to outcompete the sauropods – just enough for them to die-out first, before the theropods and the bird-hipped herbivores, and before the K/T extinction.

In South America, it was slightly different. There, the sauropods remained dominant herbivores, and they began to compete with each other. As a result, some became extra-large, just as the African bush elephants are today. Others remained small; some, like Amargasaurus developed spiny crests, while others, like Saltasaurus, evolved bony armor, reminiscent of Ankylosaurus and co. These adaptations were defense mechanisms against their predators – carnosaurs, (Giganotosaurus and co.), and abelisaurs, (Abelisaurus and co.). Did they work…technically they did, though most paleontological texts give-off a feeling that the South American sauropods died-out before the K/T Extinction, again. Also, the biggest sauropods of them all, such as Argentinosaurus, never developed any bony armor or spikes or anything – it was too big to need this sort of armor, and not even the biggest South American theropods, (Mapusaurus, Giganotosaurus, etc.) were able to take it down…unless the circumstances were just in their favor.

Pause. We have come full circle. A learned person, a publicator in ‘Scientific American’ proclaimed that there is no idea as to why some sauropods became super-sized. For the same reason that some of the mammals did during the Cenozoic – to get advantage over their competitors, over their carnivores, and over their food source… and at the same time, to keep themselves alive and breeding, because bulk-food feeding comes with its own catches. Not such a mystery after all.

End

 

Quarantine entry #82 - June 11

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, and I cannot even escape into AoS, because I am currently trapped where it is not available, (because there is no TV and all). Pause.

Well, because I do not want to tackle reality just yet, I will acknowledge that for the moment the final season of AoS is still staying in the AC time period – aka the post-WWII USA and they have already encountered their very first racist – a certain Mr. Sharpe. Right now, the character is mostly a comic relief, (this is the first time he has appeared in MCU period, and given AoS’ record of accomplishment, and it is possible that he will soon die anyhow… where were we?)

Ah yes, the racist. AC itself fiddled with the issue of racism in the USA post-WWII, especially in the second season, when agent – now chief – David Sousa suddenly had a non-captain Rogers’ rival for agent Carter’s heart of an Afro-American descent, cough – but now…

Well, now it seems that the final season of AoS is stealing plot ideas from the third season of AC that never was, which is good. Marvel’s ‘InHumans’ actually did manifest despite AoS’ present, and the result was insipid, and also cancelled after a single season, even though despite its’ flaws, it had a better, more compact plot than AoS usually had. Disney rocks?

Getting back to the issue of racism in the States, in particular – now, listen: the George Floyd situation manifested because of management and mismanagement of the protests, the Americans wanted a diversion from COVID-19, and so they got it! Now, people are talking about reforming the police, (a major federal organization, putting it mildly), Confederate statues are being pulled down, (seriously, what the Hell?!), and COVID-19 was put on a backburner, though now it is coming back – either because the George Floyd narrative has ran its’ course, the man has been buried, and, hopefully, at least some people on the top of the American society have begun to think as to what COVID-19 will do to American population now that the self-isolation was effectively torn down.

…As we have said before, in Canada the situation is different, less intense, and more artificial-feeling. It is possible that Trudeau is using it as a smoke screen… period, because he isn’t handling the COVID-19 chaos very well, but then again, right now, Canada is supposedly run by a Liberal/Conservative/NDP joint effort, and where are the other two? Scheer keeps on fighting with Trudeau, the end, and Singh, (for whom and whose NDP party I have voted, FYI), is simply a no-show. The Hell? Trudeau is flawed, (though he is better than the American Donald is by default), but at least he is trying to do something, which is more than you can say about the other two. Sigh. Canada may be better than the U.S. is, but these days? That is not much to go on about.

Now, today I actually wanted to talk about bears, but somehow I was never able to get into the right frame of mind. Pity, because actually bears are quite fascinating mammals, hailing from the Eocene epoch, aka practically the very beginning of the Cenozoic. Their various species and genera came and went, but in the modern times? There are only eight species in three genera, including the giant panda that we have discussed earlier. It is the most ancient of the modern bears, and one of the most specialized, and probably one of the smallest ones too, (I am sorry, but compared to a brown bear? The giant panda is not that huge).

At the other end of the spectrum we have the polar bear, the most recent of the modern bears, that we have already discussed on this blog, for it was featured on AFO, where it’d lost to a walrus, as well as its’ closest cousins – the brown bear, (defeated a Siberian tiger), and the American black bear, (who took down the American Alligator). This leaves with the spectacled bear, the sloth bear, and the sun and the moon bears.

The moon bear is the Asian black bear, which is an ecological counterpart to the American black bear, and whom we have discussed in the past, largely because of the conjunction to the American black bear, (the American alligator and the Chinese alligator were featured as well).

The sun bear is also called the Malaysian bear, and it is one of the smallest bears, possibly smaller than even the giant panda is – and is one of the most arboreal of all the modern bears. Unlike the moon bear, its’ patch on the chest is yellow rather than white, hence the ‘sun bear’ moniker.

…Conversely, the sloth bear, (aka the true bear from the ‘Jungle Book’) usually has no patch on its’ chest, but when it does, it is white. The same goes for the American black bear, actually – usually, this bear is colored in a single color, but sometimes it does have a white patch on its’ chest instead, (though it ought to be noted that an American black bear can be of any color actually, not just black, but also cinnamon brown or creamy white).

…The spectacled bear usually doesn’t have a mark on its’ chest – instead, it has ‘spectacles’ on its’ face, and it is the only modern survivor of the short-faced bear lineage, (remember, it was featured on the ‘Prehistoric Predators’ series?). That said, those ‘spectacles’ can look very different from one spectacled bear to another, and some can reach the chest area, I suppose. In fact, physically speaking, all bears look like each other, and aside from the brown and polar bears, (which are each other’s closest relatives out of all the modern bears), and the giant panda too, I suppose, all of the modern bears are colored similarly too – in black, with lighter patches of fur on its’ back. Even the giant panda’s black-and-white checkered coat might have evolved from a similar design as well; what do you think?

…For now though, this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #75 - June 4

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Why? It does not matter – for some, it may suck because of its unpredictability, for others – because of routine, but it does not matter. Life sucks. For humans, life can go for several decades, over a century, even, for some; for hedgehogs – just a few years; and for the spruce tree, (and its’ cousin, the fir) – for several centuries, easily. Pause.

Here is the thing. Do we want to talk about trees, of all things? Yes, since we began to talk about the woodpeckers, it is only logical that trees come up next, since the woodpeckers both feed on (and in) the trees, and nest in their cavities, (natural or created/augmented by those birds). Ergo, taking about trees makes sense.

But! The truth is that real world does not always make sense, (that is one of the reasons as to why it sucks). Just look at what the US is going through right now. Really, it is the ‘Tiger King’ phenomenon, gone badly, out of control, and wrong. In both cases, the American people were so starved for anything exciting that once it happened, it got out of control.

…Incidentally, this situation is not typical for just the Republican governments – during the period of Obama’s more Democratic reign, especially in the last years, the situation on the streets was pretty much similar what it is now; now it may be more violent, but that is all.

…Yes, the current political situation in D.C. is making the situation worse, relatively speaking, but this brings us to free will – the Americans have it, they are using it, and they are apparently abusing it, seeing how the situation is getting worse rather than better. Pause.

Yes, the last statement was unkind and probably wrong as well, but the thing is that since the Cold War ended, USA did its best to become the standard by which freedom in our world is measured; it is like the Gold Standard of Freedom or something, and once it starts to fall, then the rest of the world is affected. Yes, this is the ‘global village effect’ in action. Yes, USA tried to get out of the ‘global village’ for this reason as well – their power was waning, they could no longer control it/run it/be in charge, but it is too late, and the ‘global village’ system cannot be dismantled without some fallout at least, the end.

Only it is anything but, as the US is experiencing the effect of the ‘global village’ that they helped the rest of the West, and the rest of the world, create in the post-Cold War years, (i.e. 1990s and the early 2000s), when their power was at its latest peak. Back then, the current situation was unimaginable, apparently – USA honestly didn’t expect that Americans would be fighting, killing, looting, shooting each other and etc., with the rest of the world facepalming: like, what else those crazy Yankee yahoos are doing now?..

…Yes, something similar had went down at the end of the 19^th/the start of the 20^th century, before the WWI, and the WWII, and everything that happened between them, but only those that don’t learn from history, repeat it. The Russians get a lot of dissension for doing just that, but in reality? It seems that at least some people in the RF are trying to change their future, while in the US? It is another story.

Anything else? Here is a drabble about the woodpecker, since we are apparently not done with the bird:

What is this loud drumming in the forest? Who is drumming so loudly here? Why, there they are, all mottled, with a red cap. It landed onto a pine tree, grabbed the bark with its’ talons, supported by the stiff tail, and began to jump upwards. It found a spot where there was a grub beneath the bark, and began to drum with its’ beak... It ate the grub, flew on and drummed on the bark some more... – and then it flew away even further, its’ drumming is barely audible now... It still sounds like a drum, but that is no drummer, but the woodpecker bird.

…Well, this is it for now – see you all soon!

Quarantine entry #66 - May 26

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, though it is weird sometimes – for example, there is a granny of a singer, who is both over 90, and owns over a dozen of mature and fully-grown lions and tigers, (though not bears, apparently – somehow, she had missed them). The good singer is actually half-boasting about that – I am guessing she is waiting for the mammals to eat the granny and then be acquitted, because they are, well, animals, and are not really subjected to the American law…and if they are euthanized or whatever when the granny gets eaten, it’s no skin off the singer’s nose either – win-win. What next?

The province of Ontario – during the long weekend – broke all of the rules of social distancing, yet they still want the borders with U.S. closed. Imbeciles. This is why I hate other people too, and not just myself. Ergo, let us talk about the other animals instead – and how about the walrus?

…Yes, we’ve talked about the walrus a long time ago, when we’ve discussed the AFO episode ‘Polar bear vs. Walrus’ – remember it?.. but first, here is a shout-out to NatGeo’s latest mini TV-series, ‘Barkskins’, which we’ve mentioned earlier as well. This is a fairly decent and enjoyable drama, and a pleasant change from ‘The Wrong Missy’ and ‘The Lovebirds’ that we’ve discussed earlier.

As for the walrus itself…where to start? The walrus is the biggest pinniped of the Northern Hemisphere – males can reach up to 4 m in length and weigh up to 2 metric tons. Despite its physical similarity with the eared seals, (aka fur seals & sea lions) rather than the true seals, the walrus is in its own group, not exactly too close to either of the seal groups, and it is a single species, with two or three subspecies, (scientists are not sure about the number).

The walruses prefer to live in the shallows of the northern seas, where they feed on bottom-dwelling sea animals – molluscs, worms, crustaceans, etc. There are stories about walrus orphans that became full carnivores, but that evidence is anecdotal, and in the last few decades there wasn’t any new ones, so that is probably a salty sea tale or whatever.

Once, the walruses lived all over the Arctic waters, living in herds of hundreds, if not thousands of animals. Now, however, their numbers have fallen – even with the conservation efforts, the global warming is affecting them as well as the polar bears, and the walrus females are not that much more fertile than their polar bear counterparts are – they become sexually mature only at four to five years of age, and give birth to new pups only every three to four years. The pups in question grow slowly – for the first two years they feed only on milk, but during that time, they grow up to 2 m in length and over 300 kg in weight.

…The walruses supposedly grow until they reach about 20 years of age, and they live for a very long time, if they survived their initial childhood. Humans aside, the only animals that mess with fully grown walruses are killer whales and polar bears – and it’s a mixed bag with polar bears, (they prefer to go after walrus pups and females, not the mature males, and if they can afford it, they go for seals instead), and as for killer whales… I have not seen much evidence of killer whale on walrus attacks, so I am guessing that they would rather eat anything else than a walrus first, especially a mature male one.

Finally, here is a piece of the original fiction about it instead:

A walrus is a big and heavy beast. It looks like a bag of blubber, but got plenty of brawn too.

A walrus has two ivory tusks jutting from beneath the bristly moustache. It got flippers instead of feet, too. A walrus is an aquatic beast.

A walrus will dive deep and graze on the sea floor like a cow on a meadow. It eats seaweed and mollusks, and once it is done, the walrus will emerge, grab an ice floe or the shoreline with its tusks and get out of the water completely. It will lie down and sleep.

… Well, this is it for now. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #50 - May 10

Obligatory disclaimer: happy Mother’s day! May it be fruitful and satisfactory for all the mothers involved, for better or for worse, COVID-19 or not! …That said, real life sucks, and I am no prize either, I do not deny it. The lockdown has made it all worse, more acute, as everyone is cramped together and everyone is making an effort to get along, and as time goes along, the effort becomes more extreme. Our family actually has it easy, as we have time away from each other, and so the effects of the lockdown are not as extreme, but they are still felt, and we fight, but we usually have space to get away from each other, and that is important, because otherwise we would have killed each other instead. What next?

The head of the Russian space program is dead from COVID-19, which is kind of bad news for team Putin and the latter’s plans for the Russian domination. Pre-COVID-19, he was supposed to annul his old presidential experience and start everything anew, but now everything is falling apart instead; his new PM got COVID-19 already, (but he is not dead), and now this.

…Plus the windmills of God mill slowly, but exceedingly small; the patience of the Russian proletariat may be long, but it isn’t infinite, and when it ends, it’s explosive – just look at 1917, for example. In addition, Lenin is not gone either – he is right there, in the Mausoleum, next to the Kremlin. Yeltsin, the person (putting it mildly) that made it possible for Putin to become a president at the end, made plans to inter the first Soviet general-secretary ever in a proper grave, but somehow it never amounted to anything and in the end, Yeltsin was the one buried, because he died first. Well, when you were as bad an alcoholic as he had been, it was only a matter of time until he was dead for real – and so he is. The rest of his family and entourage lived on, and Putin was a part of it, at least until 2014-5, when the entire mess with the Crimean peninsula began, as Putin began to push his new, independent politics, and you can see as to where it had led the Russian Federation – in the past. In the present, with COVID-19 running rampant in the RF, Putin’s plans became derailed, and it is anyone’s guess as to where RF will go from there; Putin’s regime will endure for a while, because his opposition is hardly any better than he and his supporters are, but it will end. What will happen next is anyone’s guess, so what else?

A brief return to the jaguar – we have talked about the biggest cat of New World repeatedly in the past, so I decided to talk about it again, because why not? Let us begin.

…Neither lions nor tigers live in the Americas, but it has big cats of its own – the jaguar and the puma. Not everyone can distinguish a jaguar from a leopard, for the two cats are similar, and so are their spots, but the jaguar’s spots are bigger than a leopard’s are, and they are different – not plain spots, but rosettes with a smaller spot in the middle. In addition, a jaguar’s head is proportionally bigger, and this feline itself is taller but shorter than a leopard is. Pause.

…The jaguar is a natural climber, swimmer, and runner; it loves the water almost as much as a tiger does. Of all the big cats, only the tiger and the jaguar willingly go into water – even into such great rivers as the Ganges and the Amazon – on a regular basis. Sometimes a jaguar will feel so comfortable sleeping in the water that the current, supposedly, carries the cat out into the ocean… but I am not so sure about that.

In addition, a jaguar is an avid fisher, stalking fish from the shoreline for hours. As footage has proved, the jaguar also attacks caimans, (distant relatives of the crocodiles, close kin to the alligators), and turtles, including sea turtles, which it encounters on the seashore. It ambushes the reptiles as they come ashore to lay eggs and it flips them upside down to make a food cache. The turtles do not die, and their meat is not spoiled, but neither can they right themselves and escape back to the water…

Finally, the jaguar can be found almost anywhere, from the wet jungles, (where it is always possible to catch something nasty, like rickets), to the prairies and open ground in the rest of South America; they used to come into North America as well, but by now, most people admit that they are gone from it in the wild state; they may return, but the Donald’s wall might ruin that – but the Donald’s wall is another story…

…Well, this is it for now – see you all soon!

Quarantine entry #24 - April 14

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Yesterday, Doug Ford insisted that the Canadian province of Ontario remains in the lockdown for another month – that is until the end of May or so. Ouch! The road to Hell is paved with best intentions and all – but at least this time I have seen a flock of grackles, which are some of North America’s bigger songbirds. What next?

I have returned to watching DW, in no small part because I do not want to go back to AFO instead – really, the only episode that we had not discussed in AFO is the ‘lion vs. tiger’ one, and I am not going to talk about it, it is so flawed on so many levels!.. So, let us talk – speaking of flaws – of the DW episode ‘Spartan vs. Ninja’, and-?

And here is the bottom line – Ninja had lost fairly, but with a caveat. This caveat is called mid-range weapons – Spartan had a spear; Ninja – a bunch of eggs, filled with pepper powder, or poison, or some similar crap. The result is that team Spartan received a major boost in points during that comparison, and team Ninja was never able to catch-up to their rivals.

As for the rest of the weapons… Ninja’s ninjato sword was actually superior to Spartan’s xiphos. Spartan’s javelin was slightly better than Ninja’s shurikens and blowgun, but not by much. In addition, yes, Spartan’s shield was better than Ninja’s kusarigama…but not by much, again. It was Spartan’s spear, not shield, that carried him to victory, period, but only because the DW team had set Ninja up, in a manner of speaking. Ah well, that was the expenses of growth, of inexperience, and in the next seasons the DW team was able to avoid such mistakes. Good for them, just…not good enough to save them after three seasons of various success. Ah well, that is life, live with it. It sucks, but live with it, would you?

…And yes, Spartan did come back for a ‘Back for Blood’ special, set between the DW S1 and S2, where he faced-off against Samurai. This time, he did win because of his shield, making me wonder as to how a Viking vs. Ninja face-off would have gone down? Considering that the black eggs still would have been used by Ninja, the latter would have lost altogether, but, still, it would have been exciting to watch.

…There was no ‘Back for Blood’ special between DW S2 and S3, and that indicated that something had shifted behind the scenes of the show, and not for the better. Ah well, let us not go around beating a dead horse more than we need to…

Anything else? …Actually, yes – here’s a brief drabble of original fiction about a lion, because the King of the Beasts deserves better than what AFO gave it – a dubious win over a tiger in one episode, and a clear loss to the Nile crocodile in another. Ah well, we are not going to discuss the former, and we have already discussed the latter, so here is the drabble in question instead:

Beware, ye wild horses the zebras! Beware, ye speedy antelopes! Even ye beware, great-horned buffalos!

The lions are abroad!

Thunder seemingly thundered, rolling through the Savannahs and scrublands. The lions Roared, the lions snarled. Everyone else hid.

Aside from the elephant, the rhino and the polar bear, the lion is the king of the beasts. Their teeth are strong, their claws are sharp, and the mane is thick.

Who will be eaten tonight, you know?

End

...Well, this is it for now; see you all soon! (Hopefully, the lockdown will end by the month of May or sometime around it, but I am not making any positive bets). Cheers!

Quarantine entry #12 - April 2

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. COVID-19 continues to walk all over the planet, and the US is still the worst-case scenario… proportionally speaking, because so far out of the overall 50 000 deceased people, one-half belongs to Italy and Spain still, which is even worse. Ergo, to distract myself from all this misery, I keep on watching DW; this time, I took on the ‘Jesse James vs. Al Capone episode’, and boy, was it a hit!

Let us elaborate. On one hand, we got Al Capone, who, within the DW-verse, is a direct successor of the nameless Mafia representative of DW S1. On the other, we got Jesse James, who, within the same universe, is the preliminary to Sancho Villa in S3. Pause. Trivia aside, this essentially meant that DW made a ‘cowboys vs. gangsters’ episode, and-?

And the cowboys won. Why? Because they had better weapons; in particular, the Bowie knife was a better weapon than the gangsters’ stiletto. So-?

So nothing; the real beef here may be about how the fight was stereographed, (or staged, or whatever the proper verb for that is). See, the ‘Jesse James vs. Al Capone’ episode is unique in that two (out four) members of team Cowboy were able to walk away. This feels kind of prejudiced and staged, but, then again, a lot of DW was prejudiced, and all of it was staged, hence why it was undone at the end.

‘Tiger King’ wasn’t staged, and it did its’ best not to be prejudiced, but the truth is that it got lucky with timing – everyone got fed up with the quarantine, and so when something really big and exciting dropped in, everyone joined in on the discussion; the fact that it is a real-life drama, (I’m sorry, but Joe Exotic is a drama queen on top of everything else that he is), only added to the flavour, and Ms. Baskin may be getting the worst of it – I’m fan of Big Cat Foundation, but she isn’t the BCF, not really. Back to DW?

Here is the thing. In the last episode that we have discussed – remember, ‘Persian Immortal vs. Celt Warrior’? – the two combatants were equal, only not, as the Persian combatant had better weapons… comparatively speaking. Here, in ‘Jesse James vs. Al Capone’, we got a Winchester rifle compared to a pineapple bomb, which are not exactly comparable to each other, both deadly weapons or not. Colt revolver against Tommy gun – fair or not? It is hard to say, even though DW’s theatrics did a great job of distracting the viewers from realizing this fact, especially in the short term. Then again, DW did aim to entertain rather than to educate, and it quite succeeded in the former. And ‘Tiger King’?

...And ‘Tiger King’ thought to inform rather than to educate, and it too had succeeded in that area. People, certainly, are leaving the series having learned more than how much they did before, and right now, they have free time to do something with this knowledge, but-

-But it all comes down to the people in Washington D.C., who clearly have their own ideas of what to do during the lockdown, etc., and so the final result of the fallout from ‘Tiger King’ might be nothing – there will be a lot of noise from the couch experts, detectives, etc., a lot of nasty tweets and Instagram messages between all sorts of people, and – that’s it. Especially once the quarantine ends and people will hurry to return their lives back to normal, burying the past, however, recent, behind them – but first the quarantine authentically needs to end…

…For now, though, this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #11 - April 1

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. At least now, the sink is unclogged and the weather has evened-out, and it is no longer raining. A puny yay, but still a yay nonetheless. What next?

Well, despite all the statement about how wildlife is coming back, so far, I saw little signs of it – just an occasional songbird or squirrel, and that is it. True, we are currently stuck in the suburbs, were almost everyone has a dog or a cat that needs to go for a walk or just out, and consequently, the more wild animals – songbirds, squirrels, groundhogs, deer, etc. – are keeping relatively low. Humans are one thing; cats and dogs, (and some of the local dogs are quite big animals), are another. Ergo, so far none of us is seeing any sort of a wildlife bonanza that the Internet, including Facebook, was talking about for a while. What next?

…Now would be the perfect time to talk about the ‘Tiger King’ documentary that was released on Netflix, but truth to tell, I am at a loss as how to tackle it. Despite its’ title, this documentary series isn’t just about tigers, but also about tiger trade, (especially in the U.S.) and about people who make money off the big cats, i.e. tigers and lions. It was a massive undertaking to make, air, etc., and it occasional wanders off the subject… but only slightly. Frankly, right now, discussing ‘Tiger King’ is out of my league, and so I am putting it off for now. What is left?

Well, I have re-watched yet another DW episode, this one being the ‘Persian Immortal vs. Celt Warrior’. Again, it was one of the better DW episodes, (though of course ‘Tiger King’ is still the more solid show out of the two). Why? Because of several reasons.

First, the Persian Empire did meet the Celtic tribes, chronology-wise, however slightly. Secondly, the weapons were not too typical, especially for the Persian Immortal – they included a battle-axe rather than a sword, and a chariot scythe. This brings us to the third reason – the chariots themselves. Horses – and warriors on horseback – came and went throughout the entire show, but this was the only DW episode that featured chariots and at least some chariot combat. Very remarkable and enjoyable to watch! …So why did the Celt lose?

Because he had the inferior weapons, when push came to shove, and inferior training too, I suppose. The Celts were always more individualistic than their Persian counterparts, (in the terms of the face-off in question), for at its’ heyday the Persian (aka the Parthian) empire rivaled the Roman…and both of them diminished simultaneously, and also fell at the same time – to the prophet Mohammed and the up and coming forces of Islam. Fun!

…As for the Celts, they would eventually ‘evolve’ into the natives of France, Great Britain & Ireland, Germany, and so on, and they would also pass on without a trace. They fell back against the Romans, while the Persians/Parthians were able to stand up to the Romans honestly, see above, and this was probably as to why team Persian was able to defeat their counterparts.

And the sling! Honestly! The sling appeared on DW several times, and it was always less effective than such as weapons as the bow and arrow. It may have been the second least effective weapon on DW after the various poisons, and so in S3, DW got rid of it, just as it got rid of the poisons in S2. Not that it helped it any – DW still got cancelled. Ah well, so passes the glory/fame of the world. Did I mention that real life sucks? (Just look at ‘Tiger King’ – some of the fallout following its’ release was clearly not intentional, but we’ll talk about ‘Tiger King’ some other time).

…This is it for now – see you all soon!

Doolittle-2020 - Jan 23

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. It sucks just because, and your family, as well as yourself, are a part of it. Yes, every new day is different, one way or another, but as a rule – real life sucks. You may want to discuss the long-tailed duck or something, but you cannot, simply because real life sucks, and your personal life sucks, and you suck. Plus – priorities. No matter how much you love nature, sometimes you just cannot master the enthusiasm to write about the ducks, (or the woodpeckers, hedgehogs, squirrels, etc.). So, let us talk about something else – the doctor. He, (i.e. Doolittle), is in the house!

…And apparently, he sucks almost as much as real life does, according to many reviews and critics. They are wrong. ‘Doolittle-2020’ is not bad. It is insipid.

Does anyone remember Marvel’s ‘InHumans’ that’d aired several years back? If not, it is not surprising – the show lasted for a single season, and it numbered only eight episodes. Yes, in the pre-Disney+ era Marvel TV shows didn’t last for more than two or three seasons, (AoS is the exception, period), but even so, ‘InHumans’ stood-out: they were that bad.

And yet… there did not appear to be something that was specifically damning that prevented them – in theory – from continuing from another season or two. (Marvel’s ‘Runaways’ ended after 3 seasons, for example). Instead, it was an entire assimilation of small flaws, including bad script and rushed acting that did Marvel’s ‘InHumans’ in. In different hands, under different management and circumstances, they could have been good, but because real life, they failed to launch instead. ‘Doolittle-2020’ is in the same boat, even though it is a single film and not a TV series instead.

On one hand, it had a lot going for it, actually, starting with the Iron Man being the titular character and a story plot that sounded good on paper. On the other, with such an illustrious name playing the main lead in a film that just couldn’t be anywhere near the level of the last two Avenger films, (let’s be honest – even in the best of circumstances ‘Doolittle-2020’ wouldn’t be anywhere near the level of ‘Infinity War’ and ‘Endgame’), enough people would feel gipped, as if this was a step down or something – and they were probably right.

 …And top of those failed expectations and the subconscious feeling of being cheated out of something that is Avenger-level film, the film itself is flawed, let’s be polite. The plot felt rather like Stark’s new Welsh accent – completely unnecessary and a straight-out failure. Queen Victoria is poisoned, so Stark – er, Doolittle – is off to bring back the miracle cure? What is this – the Avengers, Victorian era? Well, maybe – we did also get Sony’s current version of Spider-Man voicing a dog, so it could have been a start. Instead, we got a failure with a bunch of grown-up jokes in a decisively pro-child film, (children under the age of 10 will enjoy ‘Doolittle-2020’ moreso than their parents, yes), the titular character farted by a dragon, (what is this – mockery of GoT? If so, then ‘Doolittle-2020’ is excessively late for this party), and, oh yes, a gorilla fighting a tiger, (sort of) among other things.

Off topic, if a gorilla fought a tiger for real, who would win? In AFO, when a gorilla faced-off with a leopard, it actually won, but a tiger is much bigger and heavier than a leopard is and carries a much heavier punch than a leopard does. In a feline clash, tiger will triumph over a leopard, as ‘Jungle Book-2016’ showed openly and clearly – even though it is fiction, it actually did a good job of being realistic, at least to a point. But a gorilla is completely different beast than a leopard is. A tiger is a professional hunter and killer, but if it fails to get a drop on the modern world’s biggest and strongest primate, period, then it can go either way – and, of course, ‘Doolittle-2020’ went in a completely different direction to begin with. What next?

Well, for me, Chee-Chee the gorilla brought back memories of the Soviet adaptation of Doolittle, (where Chee-Chee was actually a capuchin monkey instead). To wit, this adaptation consisted of one large poem where the Soviet Doolittle went to Africa to cure all the cute animal babies there, because they all were sick; and of another large poem, where the good doctor comes to Africa to rescue a couple of human children from the Soviet analogue of Rassouli; and also a couple of novellas for children where the good doctor crosses swords with the pirate leader time and again, until he defeats the villain for good. Not such a small assimilation, especially by children’s standards, after all.

…And then the Soviet cinematography produced a cartoon series, and a couple of movies, all about the good doctor confronting the wicked pirate and his crew, and frankly, one of them, ‘Soviet Doolittle-66’ is just as crazy, but much more coherent and enjoyable than the U.S. 2020 version. Not unlike the gender-flipped ‘Ghostbusters’ reboot, ‘Doolittle-2020’ is just bad as in uninspiring and insipid, which brings us back to Marvel’s ‘InHumans’ TV series – they had the same problem and collapsed, though compared to them, ‘Doolittle-2020’ is better, (and it is certainly better than ‘Cats-2019’, cough), simply because the younger children will enjoy it with all the poop and fart jokes as well as periodic clothing, and, hey, the Iron Man is riding an ostrich in this universe, while a giraffe is talking to him in voice of Selena Gomez. Fun! Anything else?

Well, the second ‘To all the boys…’ movie is coming out on Netflix on Feb 12, 2020. Why before 2020’s Valentine Day – who knows; who cares, too – while the first film had its’ flaws, clearly, the entire franchise has proven to be tough, enduring and popular enough to bring forth a second movie. (Jenny Han wrote a trilogy about LJ’s adventures, so there is at least one more movie in store for LJ and her love life). By comparison, ‘Crazy Rich Asians’ franchise apparently hadn’t – so far there’s no news about a second movie in this franchise; maybe because it tried to be a pro-American propaganda piece among other things back when it aired and ‘Boys-1’ didn’t? Who knows, but ‘Boys-1’ was a very good romantic movie, surprisingly so, given all the flaws of both it and the original novel…but it was not insipid. It delivered. It gave enjoyment to the views. It made real life slightly more endurable than it is on its’ own. I am actually looking forwards to ‘Boys-2’ coming to Netflix next month. Yay.

…This is it for now, see you all soon!

SW: TROS - Jan 5

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. Our family’s holidays were the pits, and my family are bleeps that I hate with all my life and soul. I myself am no prise, but regardless I hate them, I hate them, I hate them forever!.. Gollum, ‘The Hobbit’. What next?

SW9, that is what. As far as escapes from real life go, this one was only marginally better than ‘Cats 2019’, but that is because nothing is as bad as ‘Cats 2019’ were. SW9 is… bad. It is not too bad, but neither it is that great. It’s ‘fan service’, according to the official statement that explains as to why SW9 proved to be so bad. Here is my response: that is a lie. What do fans want? For Rey to have a relationship with anyone, (with whom exactly is another question), but what do they get? Rey pulling an Elsa from ‘Frozen 2’ and ending up single and free as a bird instead. Did the fans want this? Judging by their reaction – no. So, how is this ‘fan service’? The honest answer – it is not. So, what is it, instead?

Let us start with the beginning: from the SW7 onwards, the SW sequel trilogy was a mess, especially from the plotline P.O.V. As for relationships… do not start – the SW7 movie had ‘shipped’ Rey with Finn, (not Ben or Poe), so hard! So, why didn’t it work, and instead Finn was ‘shipped’ with Rose in SW8? …It is anyone’s guess, but the fact that Hollywood and the rest of America’s elite has plenty of issues with interracial relationships, probably played a role. In SW9, we get briefly introduced to a character named Jannah, who is former Stormtrooper who is aiding the Resistance against the First Order. Now, why does it sound familiar? We look at Finn, who decisively ignores Jannah in favor of his Rose. Good for him. In the canon, Jannah was shown interacting with Lando Calrissian, maybe because she is supposed to be his long-lost daughter, but Lando’s own role got diminished severely in SW9, as did Rose’s own, BTW. …Yes, on one level it can be explained by the fact that Rose’s actress, Kelly Marie Tran, received her own amount of hate, as did Rey’s actress, Daisy Ridley, after the SW 8 film, so it’s probable that she didn’t want to appear in SW9 one, but the fact is that many characters, not just her and Lando, got diminished in the SW9 movie, which implies that the SW9 film is a bad, unsatisfying one, not just to the viewers, but to its’ crew and cast too. Why? Moreover, what next?

Firstly, the conclusion – the entire main cast of SW films four through six is dead, and it is now a blank slate, with or without Ben Solo. Fair enough, but considering that the problems of the franchise began precisely because of this – after the merger, Disney/SW promptly dismissed all of the old info, declaring them to be ‘Star Wars: Legend’ instead, and it promptly began to fracture SW’s original fan base – and not because of U.S.A’s current racial or gender problems. The old SW fan guard got angry, didn’t back down or mince words, and by the time of the SW8 and ‘Solo’ films things were quite bad, especially by Disney’s standards. They tried to alter this situation by flooding the comic market with the SW comics, but apparently it was not enough, especially on its’ own. ‘The Mandalorian’, of course, is a different thing entirely – emphasis on ‘different’: it does not appear to connect with the SW sequel trilogy at all!.. Anything else?

For now the SW universe is calming down; instead we got Robert Downey Jr. returning to the silver screens this month, (January 2020) as the titular character in the ‘Dr. Doolittle 2020’ movie. So far, it is a mess, the final trailer shows a gorilla fighting a tiger and later on – the Iron Man and his new animal Avengers – some sort of a dragon, straight from an RPG (think Smaug from the ‘Hobbit’ trilogy earlier this century). So far, the next most memorable thing after the Iron Man himself is Selena Gomez, who will be voicing Betsy the giraffe, (CGI, not real life). Considering that Ms. Gomez herself was down in the dumps lately, this is a step up for her nevertheless. Real life sucks, remember? Even for Disney & SW, it seems – SW9 tried to be a soft reboot ala ‘Frozen 2’, (remember, we discussed it in November 2019?), but it failed. The two franchises are just too different, and the similar approaches to them were different as well.

Ergo, for now this is it. Maybe real life will perk up further down in 2020, but I am not so sure. Until then – see you soon!

Aladdin 2019 - May 25

And now let us talk about that plucky lad, named Al. Did his real life movie work?

Yes, yes it did. Why so surprised? ‘B&B’ reboot worked, so did ‘Jungle Book’, and even ‘Dumbo’ – for some people at least. Unlike ‘Dumbo’ though, ‘Aladdin’ did not take any risks or liberties with the original material and is 90% a direct reboot of the original 1990s film. And?

And nothing. The original movie worked because it was good, and 2019’s reboot did its’ best to follow the established lines and it worked. It wasn’t exciting but it work, which is good enough for Disney, given how the other approach in regards to SW seemed to have backfired, so playing it safe and secure for Disney forwards ho!

…Yes, Disney (and Guy Ritchie here) tried to be woke and forward here too, what with Jasmine and Genie’s plotlines, but again, it works. When America does not try to shove political correctness down everyone’s throat extra hard, it works.

On the other side it did not work with Jafar – in the original movie Jafar was decisively darkly sadistic, (actually many of Disney’s 1990s animated movies these days look darker than their modern counterparts), but also humorous and well rounded as a character. His 2019 counterpart, on the other hand, feels like a typical evil stereotype, with a hint of Jafar’s song from the ‘Return of Jafar’ movie aka ‘Aladdin II’ that went straight to DVD (I think). In it, Jafar sings a song that is called ‘second rate’, and in 2019 film, he constantly feels second rate to no one in general and everyone in particular. Maybe the scriptwriters tried to give him a dash of LK Scar, who constantly felt as if he was in Mufasa’s shadow, but that did not work for Scar in LK, and it does not work for Jafar in 2019 version. When in 1990s he just wanted to take over the world with magic and sorcery, at least he was ambitious, and – impressive as a villain. Yay?

…Considering that in 2019 version he actually was unable to handle the Sultan, yeah, Jafar became rather deflated here, and correspondingly the titular hero did too. It is hard to be a good hero if you do not have a good villain against you, after all. What is next?

Will Smith did not suck, but why should he? His unnatural coloration as the Genie was not his doing; it was more of a technical mishap and that is quite different. Yes, the movie ‘After Earth’ wasn’t very good, and the Netflix film ‘Bright’ or ‘Light’ or something like that wasn’t an improvement either, but WS still got skills, and so he delivered them with panache.

Moreover, speaking of technical mishaps? Abu rather worked, though his capuchin monkey origins were still showing very clearly in the movie, but Iago? Rather than being a generic parrot as he had been in the animated features, he is a scarlet macaw. Pause. Like the other macaw parrot, the scarlet macaw lives in the wild only in the American tropics, and never in the Old World, i.e. Agrabah. Ergo, how exactly did Jafar acquire him? Yes, it is a magical place but still, if Jafar had power or connections powerful enough to export an all-American parrot for his own personal use, then he was not so bad off to begin with. Of course, it is never enough when you are greedy or evil or both or whatever, but regardless did he have to be so lackluster? And did Iago have to be a macaw?

As for the third animal sidekick of the movie, Rajah – yeah, he is a tiger. A CGI tiger, because real life tigers are worse thespians than macaw parrots are – and macaw parrots supposedly can bite through steel wires, let alone human fingers and ears: as a generic parrot Iago was really comic relief, (though yes, he was an oddly competent minion for Jafar too), but as a macaw he could be much more formidable than, well, Abu. That said, the scene when Abu and Aladdin have to deal with a giant-sized Iago? Pause. Where were we?

‘Aladdin 2019’ works. Of course, so does ‘Hellboy 2019’, in my opinion, but much more people disliked it…primarily because it was not Del Toro’s work and design. Del Toro’s duology works too, no doubt, but did we need to piss on ‘Hellboy 2019’ as well? Who knows…?

Anything else? Well, the remade ‘Aladdin’ was good and fun to watch, but ‘The Jungle Book’ was better, though again, this is personal preference. And one more thing, one that may come as a surprise – there is a Soviet version of ‘Aladdin’ as well.

No, seriously, during the Cold War period, USSR went and made their own take on ‘Aladdin’, and it was real life with actors – years if not decades before 2019, almost without CGI, (save for the Genie, duh). There were special effects, but they were done with ropes and things instead. On the NatGeo website, there is a short article about the original 1001 ‘Aladdin’ fairy tale, and it tells people how in the canon it took place in China rather than in the Middle East; and boy, would it be interesting to see a ‘race-bent’ version of ‘Aladdin’ instead of this one? That said, both the Disney versions and the Soviet film took place in Middle East rather than China, but otherwise, the Soviet version was closer to the original, and Aladdin wasn’t exactly a street urchin (or a street rat) but he still was fatherless, leaving with his mother – and then, one day, when the royal entourage was taking princess Boudur (the initial name of the Jasmine-like character) to take a bath in the public bathhouse, (something must’ve gone really wrong with the palace’s baths), she had a tantrum and demanded that someone looks at her face, (a big no-no in medieval Muslim world). That someone got to be Aladdin, he was to be decapitated because he’s a penniless no one and Boudur was the princess, but the Jafar-like sorcerer intervened because he needed Aladdin to go into the dark magical cave and give him the lamp.

NG is right here – there were at least two main villains in the original Aladdin fairy tale – a sorcerer who was not really interested in politics, he just wanted magic power for evil’s sake, and a vizier, who wanted the princess to marry his son so that he would become the next sultan and subsume the dynasty – kind of GoT thinking here – but Aladdin failed that plan with the genie’s magic: by then he outmaneuvered the sorcerer and kept the genie and his lamp for his own. That said, he was still nicer than in the original fairy tale and did eventually keep the genie from the sorcerer’s grasp by his wits and by befriending the genie and so on – but there weren’t really any animal sidekicks, unlike the Disney movies…though the evil wizard was chased out of town at the end of the film by a goat.

Yes, a goat, an ordinary goat, (who probably belonged to Aladdin and his mom or not, it does not matter), chased the sorcerer out of town. Jafar was a sadistic villain who deserved his gruesome defeat in both ‘Aladdin’ and ‘Return of Jafar’, but, on the other hand, if the first film had ended instead of him being powerless and chased out of Agrabah by some random goat…we would’ve had a very different ‘Aladdin 1992’ instead.

As for the Soviet movie, it was so popular in the U.S.S.R. that it even got adapted into a puppet theatre story with basically the same characters, though this time the main villain was the vizier, who wanted to marry princess himself, with the wizard being his flunky, (just think a human version of Iago pre-redemption), who tried to set him and Aladdin onto a collision course to become the winner by default…but got eaten by some random wild lion instead.

…Yeah, it is a good thing that Rajah did not get to be a liger, (a RL tiger-lion hybrid). Those unnatural hybrids are huge and impressive, but most animal protection groups hate them, and for a good reason, though yes, the question as to why Rajah got to be a tiger and not a lion in the original ‘Aladdin’ movie is anyone’s guess. In ‘Aladdin 2019’, it is more justified, but regardless…

…Back to the soviet ‘Aladdin’? (Or rather ‘Aladdin’s Magic Lamp’?) No, not really. Yes, it had a more GoT feel to it than the Disney versions, so let us have a shout-out to S.A. Chakraborty and her ‘Daevabad Trilogy’. Here, she has genies live in a world slash society not unlike that of Martin’s series, save that it is less tangled and convoluted and stretched-out but it still works. Essentially, if you like GoT and ASOIAF, give ‘The City of Brass’ and ‘The Kingdom of Copper’ (aka the published novels of the trilogy) a try – you may enjoy them too.

And secondly, the second shout-out goes to Tanya Huff and in particular her novel ‘The Fire’s Stone’, which is also a novel with strong Got elements, but also magic…and some atypical sexual situations; very mature, very progressive, and very Canadian. Take that, Americans! While you posture and preen about political correctness and whatnot, Canadians go forth and do it! Up yours!

Chakraborty’s novels, though, have something similar too – one of the main themes in this literary world is the half-human half-genie race…yeah, not unlike ‘Aladdin 2019’ there is human-genie interaction of the sexual kind, but in a much more serious manner. What is next?

Nothing. C&D S2 is coming to its’ finale and AoS will finally have Deke Shaw return in the next week’s episode. Sigh. In the first half of AoS S5 he was quite competent and someone to reckon with, though already AoS had problems in figuring out as to how to handle him on a regular basis – so naturally they brought him to the past in S5 second half though he wasn’t really required anymore – and the issue of how to make him fit into the AoS was made worse. Sometimes they honestly tried into making him into a love interest for Skye/Daisy/Quake, other times they flat-out did not, but all the same, he was becoming a part of the team – and then AoS S6 began. Given what as to what we have learned about his background story and in-world skill set, you would think that he would be right there with Jemma (his maternal grandma) and Daisy (his love interest) along the others in space, helping them get ‘grandpa Leo’ back but we so far we saw neither hide nor hair of him until now, and our first glimpses of him in S6 make him look completely ridiculous. Sure, there probably will be some sort of a cock-and-bull justification regarding this turn of event, but here Marvel shot itself in the foot when it showed that CM red carpet interview with him and Wen, when he honestly admitted that he and Iain (Fitz) hated each other. Just how bad their relationship became that MCU and co. had to reboot his entire story line after making him a regular character too? Guess we will have to wait and see as to what will happen next week.

This is it for now; see you all soon!

M: ALOTJ - Dec 17

Now, a brief word about ‘Mowgli: A Legend of the Jungle’, because real life…doesn’t exactly suck, but sometimes? It rather does, regardless of any details. What about M: ALOTJ then?

The crux point here is not the presence of Tabaqui the hyena – in the original novels it was a jackal. Yes, a jackal is very different from a hyena, but this is creative license to you – even in the original novels, Tabaqui was a minor character, and he got killed…behind the scenes by Grey Brother, one of original Mowgli’s original wolf cohorts. Kipling did not even show that scene, Grey Brother mentioned to Mowgli (and in ‘Mowgli’, I suppose), because the latter was worried, that Tabaqui would tip Shere Khan off about Mowgli’s trap. To that Grey Brother implied that “Oh, don’t worry, I found Tabaqui earlier today and broke his back, so he’s dead now, don’t worry about him’. The end of the jackal/hyena/period. Not that Shere Khan’s death was much more dignified – in the canon, Mowgli trampled him to death with a buffalo herd, (something that was homage in Disney’s Mowgli remake – remember it?), the end of the tiger.

Yes, in the original novels Shere Khan wasn’t really scaring anyone in the jungle – they hated, despised, and reviled him; eating people was against the Jungle Law, (Kipling even included this statement in one of Mowgli’s poems) and it just asking for trouble – sooner or later colored people would come, and white people would come, and there’d be fire, elephants, torches, firearms – this is where Lockwood can come it, probably.

There are British character in the ‘Jungle Book’ – both novels, actually. The thing is that those stories are not Mowgli stories; in ‘Mowgli’ proper, the British exist somewhere behind the scenes, in a good way, but kind of…nebulous. ‘Mowgli’ stories are about India, its’ animals and people – no British are required, thank you very much. In the ‘Mowgli’ movies, of course, the situation can be very different; the British can play a prominent role, and Shere Khan is always someone to be feared… as, say, Megatron from the ‘Transformers’ franchise is. That is Western prejudice, pure and simple!

And Serkis did precisely that, (though not with Shere Khan’s character) – he presented the Western prejudice in the other, earlier Mowgli movies. Lockwood acts as a typical macho man, defending the weak, (whether they asked him or not), but caring only about strength and solving everything only through strength and violence. Mowgli – in the canon – had the smarts too – which brings us to the dholes.

A dhole is a species of wild dog that is only distantly related to such animals as grey wolves, jackals and domestic dogs. It is a representative of a much-older lineage, and it has no close, immediate relatives. Like many other dog species, (including grey wolves and bush dogs), it hunts in packs and as such, it is formidable. It was also the biggest villain in the original ‘Jungle Books’ – Mowgli had to team up with his wolf pack, Kaa, and a few other jungle animals to defeat the invading dhole pack, or as they were called there – ‘the red wolves’. I think, because it has been a while since I read the novels and so far, almost none of the movies showed the dhole story line. Apparently, Disney did play with it in one of its TV cartoon series – one that was actually based on Kipling’s ‘Jungle Book’ novels, but that was a long time ago as well. Anything else?

M: ALOTJ does not have the dhole storyline either, instead we have Mowgli dealing with both Lockwood and Shere Khan, the former because he had killed Mowgli’s wolf friend, Bhoot.

…Bhoot, or bhut, is a ghost in India’s mythology, and a nasty one. Here, Serkis did not do anything really radical either – in the original novels, Mother Wolf actually had a name – Raksha or Rakshasa, which is a demon in India’s mythology - again. Herein lies M: ALOTJ’s problem. Serkis’ version is actually closer to the original novels, especially in the atmosphere – by modern standards, Kipling’s novels, including his YA novels like ‘Mowgli’ – are not very politically correct or child-friendly at all. Neither is Serkis’ movie, but…

But the sad fact is that movies, mass media, are products for sale, abiding the laws of supply and demand as well as anything else. After the 2016’s ‘Mowgli’ version there wasn’t much of a demand for another ‘Mowgli’ version, so it wasn’t very much demanded, and now that it is released, it still isn’t much demanded, and people are comparing it to 2016’s adaptation and are finding it to be more to their liking. Kipling himself isn’t much in demand by contemporary readers and audience any more, Disney itself took a gamble back in 2016 with its’ remake – and yes, it paid off. Serkis’, well, did not. His twist on the story was the semi-evil Englishman; he possibly stands for something metaphorical, but people do not really care. They are upset that this movie is not child-friendly, and it is their call, and they are right. It is not. Serkis might not have been wrong by showing a ‘Mowgli’ that is not really for children, (Kipling’s novels are not really classified by modern standards easily), but this is not what the audiences demand, and in the end, it is their call. They made it. M: ALOTJ is not the success of 2016’s remake. We can move on.

…This is it for now, see you all soon!

Dynasties - Dec 11

Obligatory disclaimer: sometimes life sucks, but right now? It is more tolerable. Let us move on?

‘The Gifted’ are on a hiatus until January 1, 2019. This is a doubtful move by the TV show in question; they tried this strategy back with their S1, and it wasn’t really successful, in regards to the numbers; right now, S2 is longer – 16 episodes vs. 13, but they already played about 55% of them, 9 out of 16, so it’s anyone’s guess as to how they will arrange the last 7. What is next?

DC’s ‘Elseworlds’ ‘Arrowverse’ special was aired this and last week, and it works. It introduced a new villain – the Monitor – and eventually Super-Girl, the Martian Manhunter, and the rest of their people will need to battle an evil Super-Man. Very exciting! However, there are plenty of people discussing this story arc, no doubt, so let us talk about something else.

…No, it is not the excitement of breeding the various breeds of goldfish, or domestic turkeys, or whatever. I am sure that it is very exciting from the inside, but again, not the topic I want to discuss now – rather, it is yet another TV show that went down lately: BBC’s ‘Dynasties’.

No, it is not a yet another GoT rip-off, well, not really. Rather, it was yet another David Attenborough’s special – a five-part series about various animals around the world.

Well, not really – the lion and the wild dog came from the African savanna, and the chimpanzee – the common chimpanzee, not the bonobo – is living right next door to them in the African jungle, so it’s not much of a stretch, (some chimpanzee populations actually venture into the savanna, but unlike the human ancestors they still give its’ predators – lions, wild dogs, leopards, hyenas, etc. – a wide berth. They have not mastered fire either, though they still have tools. Technically, that is not a big issue: humanity had mastered fire only at the Homo Erectus/Homo Ergaster level, so chimpanzees have some time yet… unless humanity drives them to extinction first.

Now, this brings us back to the ‘Dynasties’ proper – they, this TV series, was about conservation of wildlife, especially the last episode, about the Bengal tigers. …Yes, according to some data, there are only two species/subspecies of tigers – the island tiger, (the Sumatran tiger), and the mainland tiger, a single species/subspecies, from India to Siberia, but I am not so sure that that P.O.V. is correct; and I reckon that this last, tiger episode was the weakest among the entire series. That is not surprising, many of American, (Western, actually), books, TV series, etc., the conclusion is often the weakest chain in the link. However…

There are rumors that clouds are gathering over Sir David himself. If that is so, then it sucks, because Sir David had been one of the best people that had ever come from the British soil, and his TV series, specials, nature documentaries, etc., were some of the best that had ever come to TV and the Internet. However, it is always possible that times are moving on, and Sir David is being left behind. This sucks, a whole lot, but real life sucks as a rule. Period.

Back with the ‘Dynasties’ proper, one of the weaker aspects it was the composition. As it was said before, the lion and the wild dog are almost two sides of the same coin, the chimpanzee is their neighbour, (a stretch, but not so much), but then we have the tiger, and the penguin.

The emperor penguin is the odd beast out. It is an Antarctic fowl among tropical beasts, but hey – everyone loves penguins, and the ‘Dynasties’ TV crew did their best to sell those flightless birds – and they did. However, the tigers? They were the weakest, and the most intense. ‘Dynasties’ did their best at selling the tigers at their most vulnerable, that it worked…and it was too much. Somehow, if the penguin episode felt like the odd one out, then the tiger episode felt like the weakest. Sorry, but them’s the breaks.

…Yes, the public perception mattered – the tiger and the lion have two very different reputations in the eyes of the public, especially Western public. Why this is, so is a difficult question, so we will not talk about right now. Moreover, it is not the point – the point is that ‘Dynasties’ have fumbled the ball at their last tiger episode, and that’s that. The series is over, (there is no signs of a sequel), so we have to live with that, and we can. Whether Sir David, (who may have his own real life problems), can, is another story.

Speaking of the other stories, there is the remark of ‘The Lion King’ looming in the future. Influenced by the remake of the ‘Jungle Book’, TLK is coming on strong, but-

But while TJB was written by Rudyard Kipling, who didn’t care for political correctness (especially by the contemporary standards) and who tried to include some real life wildlife facts in his books, (initially, TJB was a duology), TLK was, or is, ‘Hamlet’.

No, seriously, by now it is openly admitted that TLK was a remake of ‘Hamlet’, which was never big on real life wildlife, but on many other things. If you google it, you can find plenty of essays and discussions on it, in particular whether ‘Hamlet’ was a Catholic or a Protestant play, in regards to the ghost, because Catholic and Protestant branches of Christianity have two different opinions of ghosts in relation to, well, Christianity and the Bible, and that is important, because it leads to the question as to whether or not the Ghost was a genuine ghost, or an evil spirit who sold Hamlet a load of baloney, and that leads to the question as to whether or not Hamlet was honestly righting a wrong, or just killing many people for the sake of revenge. The truth being is that regardless of the veracity of the Ghost’s info, Hamlet overreached himself; if he had killed Claudius in private, while the other man was praying (and failing) in private, then the play would’ve taken a very different turn; instead, in reality, we had Hamlet killed Claudius as he wanted to – in front of many people, with a large proportion of them also dying. Hamlet did not care about Denmark or its’ people – he just wanted revenge for his father, which, for him, was the righting of the wrong. Bully for him, really.

TLK, on the other hand, tried to be more derived, and as a result on one hand, it isn’t realistic from wildlife’s point of view – since the 1990s, plenty of wildlife scientists pointed out that real life lions and hyenas don’t behave as they do in the initial TLK movie, and on the other? There is at least one theory that equates Zazu with Polonius, the crooked counsellor from ‘Hamlet’, suggesting that he had been conspiring with Scar to get rid of Mufasa and Simba from the start. It is an interesting theory, especially since the original Polonius is not so straightforward a character himself, so it will be interesting to see as to how Disney’s remake of the TLK will come out.

Finally, in summer 2019 the second ‘Godzilla’ movie is coming out. Here, he is facing off with King Ghidorah, and as someone said, ‘what is a king against a god’? King Ghidorah is taller than Godzilla is in this incarnation, but a good amount of his size are his wings, and tails, and necks with heads – he’s tall, not big, so Godzilla has a good chance in a straightforward face-off that we were shown in this trailer.

In other news, in one of the original ‘Godzilla’ movies, the titular character teams up with Rodan and Mothra to defeat King Ghidorah, and this trailer shows precisely those other two kaiju – or titans, in this particular incarnation. Maybe they will work together in the summer 2019 movie too, we will have to see. Of course, the big question is where’s King Kong in all of this, for so far, we have seen no sign of him, but again, we will may learn more about all of this in the future.

Well, this is it for now – see you all in the future!

Cats & whales - Sep 7

…Recently, on YouTube, I came across a video discussion about ‘big cats’ vs. ‘little cats’, and how those terms are confusing. Here are my two cents about them.

Firstly, these terms are not scientific, but more of lay. In reality, you can describe all animals, including wild cat species, as either ‘big’ or ‘little’, but from taxonomy’s point of view, most of the big cats belong to the genus Panthera, or – the roaring cats, (because they can roar). Currently, this genus consists of the lion, the tiger, the leopard, the jaguar, and – the snow leopard, (or ounce). The clouded leopard, (well, leopards – there are two species of them), belongs to the sister group of the Panthera cats, Neofelis, and together, the two genera compose the Pantherinae subfamily of the cat family.

So far so good, it can also be added that the ounce, while it is more often called the snow leopard, is much more closely related to the tiger, while the scientists are not currently sure, just who is more closely related to the lion – the jaguar or the leopard. The tiger and the ounce are the closest relatives of each other among the roaring cats though, even though the ounce really does look more like a leopard, which is why it is much more commonly called the snow leopard. What next?

The other ‘big cats’ of the modern world are usually the cheetah and the puma, (also cougar, mountain lion, catamount, panther, etc.). They are a part of the Felinae family, aka the non-roaring cats, which contains all of the cats that do not belong to the Panthera and Neofelis genera. Usually, the scientists call the cheetah and the puma ‘the Puma lineage’, which consists of the cheetah, the puma, and the jaguarundi, which looks nothing like a jaguar. Really, this small-headed, short-legged, long-bodied wildcat looks more like a weasel of some sort, not a cat. It lives in Central and South America, eating various small animals – rodents, birds, small reptiles, arthropods. They even eat some plants too. It is much smaller than the cheetah and the puma are, but then again, the cheetah is not really big, it is merely tall, as is the giraffe. I.e., the giraffe is tall, the elephant is big, (look at the two side by side to see the difference), the cheetah is also tall, while the lion is also big. This is different.

The cougar, (or the puma), on the other hand, is genuinely large, about the same size as the leopard, (or the smaller jaguars) is, and is built like a leopard too. As such, it is truly is a big cat size-wise, but on the other hand? It cannot roar. The jaguar can, and so can the leopard, but both the cheetah and the puma cannot, just as their cousin the jaguarundi cannot. As such, they are ‘little cats’, even though there is nothing little about them, particularly the puma, but from taxonomic point of view, they are. Period.

Hence lies the root of confusion between ‘big’ and ‘little’ cats: the scientific and non-scientific terms do not fully match. The wild cats are not unique with this problem; other animals have it too – the whales, for example.

Just like ‘big’ and ‘little cats’, ‘whale’ isn’t exactly a scientific term; science divides the cetaceans into two parvorders: the Mysticeti, or the baleen whales, and the Odontoceti, or the toothed whales. …There’s also the Archaeoceti, but all of those mammals have died out, (or not, and instead they are the truth behind the sea serpent myth as some cryptozoologists exclaim, but until a genuine sea serpent is captured and studied, they are still considered mythical, and the Archaeoceti – extinct).

Anyhow, most of the cetaceans known as ‘whales’ belong to the Mysticeti, the baleen whales; the Odontoceti or the toothed whales have proportionally far fewer ‘whales’ among their number, as opposed to ‘dolphins’, ‘porpoises’ or ‘blackfish’, and only the biggest of them all – the sperm whale – is usually treated as a ‘proper’ whale in non-scientific terms. Everyone else is usually considered ‘something else’; that is especially ironic since the sperm whale’s closest official relatives, the so-called dwarf sperm whale and the pygmy sperm whale, are among the smallest members of the cetacean clade. Sadly, they are also among the most obscure, shy, retiring and least studied members of the clade too, so we’ll talk about them some other time instead…

…And that is that for this talk; see you all soon!