New story - April 16

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, my phone is especially acting up, and DD is being his regular awesome self, so here's something different - a new story, eh?

Kaleen did not just walk; he marched. Every step was a heavy thud against the sun-baked dirt of the hilly country, a rhythmic stomping that sent dust motes dancing around his boots. He ignored the rolling beauty of the boulders and the hardy shrubs that clung to the slopes. His mind was a storm of irritation, focused entirely on the path ahead—or rather, the lack of one.

 

He was passing a jagged fissure in the hillside, a dark mouth of a cave that smelled of cool earth and old stone. He did not glance at it. He did not care what lived in the shadows.

 

A sharp, melodic whistle pierced the air.

 

Kaleen stopped. He turned slowly, his brow furrowed in a deep scowl. Standing at the cave’s entrance was a woman. She was striking, leaning against the stone with a beckoning finger and a knowing smirk.

 

Kaleen did not move toward her. He did a double take, blinking as if trying to clear his vision, and then barked, "Did you see anyone else passing by here? Another woman? Looking rather like me? As Tall as I am? Trailing a scent of betrayal and bad decisions, perhaps?"

 

The woman’s smirk faltered. She blinked, her head tilting in genuine confusion. This was not the usual reaction to her lure. She gave a slow, bewildered shake of her head.

 

"Great," Kaleen grumbled. "Helpful."

 

He turned on his heel and began to stomp away again.

 

Whiz—CRACK.

 

A rock the size of a fist shattered against a boulder inches from his head. Kaleen spun around, his hand instinctively dropping to the heavy belt at his waist.

 

The woman stood there, her arm still extended from the throw. She looked remarkably sheepish, her expression a mix of "I can’t believe I just did that" and "don't you dare leave." She gestured vaguely, almost desperately, toward the darkness of the cave.

 

Kaleen sighed, a sound like a leaking bellows. "Do you need help or something?"

 

She did not speak, but her eyes held a frantic sort of pull. Grumbling under his breath about his own misplaced sense of duty, Kaleen trudged toward the cave and stepped inside.

 

The interior was vast, an amphitheater of shadows that stretched far beyond what the exterior suggested. Kaleen turned to ask what the problem was, but the woman was already gone.

 

In her place, a nightmare uncoiled.

 

From the waist down, she was a thick, muscular coil of emerald and obsidian scales. She hissed, her jaw unhinging to reveal long, curved fangs dripping with venom. She lunged, her movements a blur of predatory grace.

 

Kaleen did not scream. He did not even draw a weapon. He simply reached out and caught her by the shoulders.

 

The hybrid thrashed, her tail whipping against the cave floor, but Kaleen stood like a mountain. His arms were locked, keeping her snapping jaws exactly three feet from his face. He looked profoundly bored.

 

"Are you done?" he asked.

 

She hissed again, snapping her fangs at the air. Kaleen rolled his eyes and gave her a firm, two-handed shove. He stepped back, centered his weight, and took a deep, shuddering breath.

 

The air in the cave suddenly felt heavy. A low, grinding sound—the sound of shifting chitin—echoed through the chamber.

 

The snake-woman froze. Her slit-pupiled eyes widened as the man before her vanished, replaced in a heartbeat by a hulking shadow. A giant scorpion, easily twice her size, stood over her. Its carapace was the color of dried blood, and its massive stinger hummed with a lethal, iridescent glow.

 

The hybrid did not fight. She turned and scrambled for the nearest wall, her fingers digging into the cracks as she tried to scale the vertical stone.

 

She felt a weight beneath her. Kaleen—human once more—was grunting as he shoved her upward by her scaled backside, helping her reach a high ledge.

 

"Get up there then, if you're so scared," he muttered.

 

She perched on the ledge, looking down at him with a mix of fury and intense embarrassment.

 

"I'll ask one more time," Kaleen said, dusting off his hands. "Did you see anyone else?"

 

"No!" she snapped her voice high and sharp.

 

Kaleen nodded, satisfied in a grim sort of way. He turned to leave.

 

"Wait!" she hissed, her hand darting out to grab his tunic. "Did you... did you understand me? When I called to you?"

 

"Yes," Kaleen said, looking over his shoulder. "Why shouldn't I?"

 

"Because I whistle," she whispered, her eyes searching his. "People can understand. They just... come."

 

Kaleen groaned. "Is this some sort of woman-logic thing?"

 

"No," she said, her voice dropping an octave. "It’s part of my curse."

 

Kaleen went still. "Gods? Or some other magic?"

 

"...Gods," she admitted.

 

"Right. Figures. For my former companion and me it was 'some other magic.' A botched ritual, a temple collapsing... the usual mess. Well, anyhow—"

 

"Can you help me?" she interrupted. The aggression was gone, replaced by a small, fragile voice. "Can you break it?"

 

Kaleen looked at the exit, then back at her. "You tried to kill me."

 

"It’s my nature," she pleaded, her tail twitching nervously. "Besides... we are similar. Both monsters."

 

Kaleen’s expression darkened. "My former companion said something similar. Right before she abandoned me to deal with the fallout."

 

"Please?"

 

Kaleen closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Let's go, before the giant tortoise arrives."

 

The snake-woman paused, her head tilting. "Say what?"

 

He led her out of the cave and up to the crest of the highest hill. From there, the world opened up. He pointed to a jagged silhouette of ruins on the horizon—the place where his life had gone sideways. Then, he pointed down into the valley.

 

Moving with a slow, terrifying inevitability was a tortoise. It was the size of a small manor house, its shell covered in jagged moss-covered ridges. Its eyes were fixed on the hillside, and it looked—even from this distance—utterly, cosmically pissed off.

 

"It’s tracking us," Kaleen explained. "Don't ask why. It's just very, very angry."

 

The woman looked at the beast, then at the distant horizon where her own salvation supposedly lay. She explained the location of the shrine she needed to reach, but her shoulders slumped. "I can't get there in time. I am too slow. On the open ground... I'm slower than that turtle."

 

Kaleen looked at the giant tortoise, then at the snake-woman. He let out a long, weary sigh.

 

"Get moving," he said, gesturing toward the path. "I'll help you. But we have to move before that overgrown pebble catches our scent."

 

Therefore, the scorpion and the serpent began their trek across the dirt, two cursed souls walking away from one monster and toward another.

So, what are your opinions? Please share!

'Anaconda'-2025 movie trailer - Sep 18

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, (mostly), so let us talk about the trailer to the 2025’s ‘Anaconda’ movie instead.

The original ‘Anaconda’ franchise was about people who came to the South American jungle for various reasons, and most of them would be eaten by an oversized anaconda (one or several) during the run time of the films, (there are several). Therefore, what makes this franchise better than the ‘Coyotes’ (remember them)?

The movies of the ‘Anaconda’ franchise, (including the one coming up in 2025), do not take themselves seriously and are not going for realism (or social commentary) the way that ‘Coyotes’ (and ‘Death of a Unicorn’) do. Even the trailer shows that the movie is going to be ridiculous and hilarious in a good way, and the completely unreal anaconda is a part of it.

The green anaconda might be the biggest modern snake; only the reticulated python of the Asian tropics might be able to match it; and the king cobra, of course, is always worth a mention, but the king cobra is a venomous snake among its’ other qualities, while the anacondas are constrictors.

‘Anacondas’ are used as a plural because ‘anaconda’ is a name of a genus of constrictor snakes, also known as the water boas. Just how many species of anaconda there actually are, is debated; two are known for sure – the green anaconda (Eunectes murinus) and the yellow (Eunectes notaeus) are confirmed and recognized; the rest are up to debate, (and one is a fossil species anyhow, which just makes everything more complex).

Usually, the people talk about ‘THE anaconda’, or, more precisely, the bigger and more massive green anaconda of Brazil, Peru, French Guiana, Suriname and Bolivia; the smaller yellow anaconda lives mainly more to the east (the two species do co-exist in Brazil), and the rest of the anaconda clan do not matter right now. What matters is that the green anaconda can be big and impressive, yet it is nowhere near the size of the mythical snake monsters that haunt the West imagination ever since the Europeans began to colonize South America. The South American rainforest is larger than life even now, so naturally it has to be inhabited by larger than life monsters. The Native Americans of South America agreed, but their monsters are much less realistic than the oversized anaconda of the European colonists and their descendants is, so let us put them aside too.

Besides the CGI Titanoboa wannabe, the trailer shows the cast handling (and accidentally killing) some other non-venomous snake, probably a boa constrictor. When put face to face, the boa is much slimmer and smaller than the green anaconda is, but like all the constrictor snakes, it has a mouthful of hook-like, needle-sharp, backwards pointing teeth, and it can deliver very painful and bloody bites too, so it should never be taken for granted.

…The cast go to the American tropics with a ‘movie budget’ under 10 000 dollars. Again, there is no realism; they want to make an ‘indie film’ (a movie within a movie – that is quite clever, in fact); so why not go to Florida, (or perhaps California) is unknown. As RL shows, there are plenty of escaped pythons, (some of which are quite large), in Florida, so an anaconda would fit in as well, but no – it is South America or bust. Anything else?

Just that after their boa is lost (it falls in the water, where the piranhas get it, or the boat propeller does, or something), the cast go into the rainforest to find a replacement snake. Suspension of disbelief and all, but the way they were doing it would have resulted in them finding a venomous snake instead, most likely, and most of the South American venomous snakes are pit vipers, too. Just think rattlesnakes without the rattles, really. (In all of South America lives a single rattlesnake species – all the rest are natives of North America instead). A bite from anyone of them would have been bad – period. In a certain light, the cast of the ‘Anaconda’-2025 are lucky that the snake they confronted was a non-venomous type.

And again, given just how unrealistic this movie’s snake monster is, it just as well could have been a giant bear, (the spectacled bear of South America is not as large as the brown bear is, but it can kill adult livestock with blows of its’ paws), or even a horde of orcs – why not? How is a kaiju-sized snake more realistic than a horde of orcs?

It is not, but the cast make it work. Even in the trailer, they are clearly having fun and are not careening all over the place as ‘Coyotes’ script (and cast) do. ‘Anaconda’-2025 does not have any ‘special’ message as the other film does, but I daresay that it will be more enjoyable and fun to watch than ‘Coyotes’ will be.

…And as for ‘Marvel™ Zombies’, coming to the viewers on Sep 24, 2025? Looks as if they are designed to cover up for the ‘Eyes of Wakanda’ just as the ‘Eyes’ did for ‘Ironheart’. Again: ‘Ironheart’ was bad, perhaps not as bad as Disney’s ‘Snow White’ remake, but still bad, hitting all the right notes in all the wrong ways. For Disney, MCU, and the rest, good relationships with Afro-Americans are important, so they covered-up (and replaced) ‘Ironheart’ with ‘Eyes’.

However, ‘Eyes’ themselves were something of a rushed job, and people have felt it. Disney/MCU do not like confrontations, so they are using ‘Zombies’ to cover-up ‘Eyes’. ‘Zombies’ themselves, of course, are strongly reminiscent of ‘Game of Thrones’ series finale, when the heroes of Westeros found themselves confronting the Night King and his cohorts, including the walking dead – but let’s wait until Sep 24, 2025, to see the ‘Marvel™ Zombies for ourselves first).

…And yes, in early 2000s, ‘Animal Face-Off’ had a ‘jaguar vs. anaconda’ episode where the anaconda won. Sadly, it is only slightly more realistic than the upcoming ‘Anaconda’-2025 film will be, so let us discuss it some other time.

For now though, this is it. See you all soon!

What if, 'Killmonger' - Sep 15

Disclaimer: real life sucks, so let’s talk about one of its’ aspects first, instead, before returning to MCU. Where are we?

Ah yes, the YouTube. On this occasion, I watched a video called ‘Black Mamba vs. Viper’, where the victory was awarded to the black mamba, and I have to say that I disagree with it.

What is wrong with this match? For a start, the term ‘viper’ is an umbrella term: it covers the ‘true’ vipers, (such as the adder of Europe and the gaboon viper of Africa), the pit vipers, and also their immediate relatives – but that is unimportant, actually.

What is important is that the black mamba is an elaphid snake: its’ fangs are short and fixed, immobile – and its venom is a neurotoxin, it attacks the nervous system first. The fangs of the vipers – all of them – are much longer and fold when the snake closes its’ mouth – and their venom is a hemotoxin, it attacks the blood vessels first. Again, that is not important, but…

…But what is important is that snakes are scaly, rather than furry or feathery, unlike how birds and mammals are. As a result, when two snakes fight each other, they need to pierce scales, rather than fur or feathers, and scales can be tougher to pierce. The king cobra, which hunts and eats other snakes – hey, it is a living – is a cousin of the black mamba, (though do not ask me how close – apparently, the king cobra is not a ‘true’ cobra, whatever that implies beyond scientific classification), meaning that its’ fangs are relatively short and fixed and its’ venom is a neurotoxin… see above. However, it isn’t just much bigger and stronger than a black mamba – the king cobra is the biggest modern venomous snake, period, according to the official science – but it also has extra thick scales, in case its’ prey tries to counterattack with its’ own venomous bite… Put otherwise, the king cobra is a snake-hunting specialist and the black mamba isn’t, and when fighting a viper – any viper – it has to deal with an opponent whose scales might be thicker and tougher than its’ own, and whose fangs are certainly longer and sharper than the black mamba’s own… I am not saying that the black mamba cannot win this fight; I am just saying that the odds are stacked against it, that is all. Now onto the MCU?

Well yes, though given how Erik Killmonger – or N’Jadoka – has behaved in this week’s episode – we are not done with snakes. See, the way that the teaser trailer for this week’s episode was set up made us – well, me, for one – think that he might become a hero in this AU. Conversely, he became a villain, a manipulator and a blackguard, has killed quite a few people, some of whom were, or could’ve been, quite important to MCU, and have become king of Wakanda at the end, (though the episode ends with some optimism, more reminiscent of the ep 1x03 than the ep 1x04, for comparison). I am going with Shakespeare’s Richard III.

Let me elaborate. When it comes to ‘Black Panther’ the franchise and its’ corner of the Marvel universe(s), the themes of kings, kingdoms and kingships come up regularly, for all of the obvious reasons. The previous example was the 1x02 episode of ‘What if?’ which featured T’Challa as the Star-Lord, yes, but also as some sort of an outlaw king, a ‘white’ king, a fair and a just king and so on. Killmonger, conversely, is T’Challa’s direct opposite, something that this week’s episode of ‘What if?’ showed loud and clear, and that’s not a problem, but…

…But having already talked about the ‘Black Panther’ film recently in regards to the ‘Shang-Chi’ film, I got to re-digging some of my old files about the former film, and among them I found some articles that pointed out specifically that Killmonger was the villain of the movie, pure and simple, and not some conflicted anti-hero, cough. Now, this week – Sep 15, 2021 – we got a ‘What if?’ Killmonger episode, which confirms that no matter what the world, Killmonger is always a villain, and Tony Stark – for a different example – is not.

…Yes, this is a dig at the fact that there are plenty of people who are still sore at Tony, or at captain Rogers, in regards to MCU’s take on the Civil War plotline. There are also enough people who are still sore at Ward at the role he played in MCU’s AoS, especially the S1, when the effect was the strongest. Well, to put it bluntly, Killmonger was much more successful and ruthless than Ward ever was, period, so take that, critics!.. And also accept predeterminism, I guess.

No, seriously, the un- or intended other side of this week’s ‘What if?’ episode is that nature beats nurture, so to speak. Again, to use that particular contrast, but by befriended Stark, Killmonger got himself the opportunities that - anyone in S.H.I.E.L.D., ok, fine – would have dreamed about, (cough, the FitzSimmons, cough). And how does Killmonger repay Stark for all of those opportunities? With monstrous ingratitude, to put it lightly. Whereas T’Challa tries to think of everybody, and tries to make the world a better place for everyone, Killmonger cares only about himself, and the world can go screw itself for all that he cares. Fair enough, though the ‘Black Panther’ movie had that message rather muddled, and that version of Killmonger is dead anyhow, right?..

Is there anything left? Ah yes, the Hawkeye trailer that came out yesterday, (Sep 14, 2021). So far, it does a good job of capturing the Hawkeye spirit – I am talking about both Barton and Bishop – one that is serious, formidable, yet also a goofball on occasion, with some humor at least. (The Hawkeye version from the Ultimates comics lacked humor completely).  Here, we see the Avengers’ underdog finally getting his time to shine, and I’m not talking about ‘Rogers: the musical’ either. The bon mot here is that MCU is finally moving forwards from Thanos’ snap/Blip and its’ aftereffects for good… at least until Kang the Conqueror comes forth… conquering. Given that the current Avengers’ status is either ‘in transit’ or ‘undetermined’ I honestly hope that Kang will take his sweet time getting to MCU… and he probably will, as the ‘Loki’ S1 finale revealed that he has an entire multiverse for taking…and he already took over the TVA – but we digress. The point is that unlike the ‘Shang-Chi’ film, the ‘Hawkeye’ series fit well with the rest of the MCU Phase 4 – it is a transition story as Barton passes the moniker of Hawkeye from himself onto Kate Bishop.

As for everything else… oh brother. Apparently, the main villains of ‘Hawkeye’ – so far – are the tracksuit mafia, some sort of a Russian mafia variant. Oh, good Lord – now is so the time to annoy the Russians further. Not. As the U.S. has demonstrated to the rest of the world, it isn’t the shining nation on the hill that it claimed to be, and while RF’s president Putin is a staunchly anti-American man, it is just as true that for years – maybe even a couple of decades – the U.S. could’ve forced the RF to replace him with anyone else, really, like Mikhail Khodorkovsky but not necessarily, who would’ve kept the RF pro-American. Instead, the U.S. seemed to be perfectly content with Putin until 2014, when it all ended, and now they are trying to put the genie back into the bottle, only not. Biden agreed that Putin is a murderer – and then he promptly had official talks with him later the same year, (2021). Seriously, people make up your mind – either Putin is a killer and his regime is a direct affront to the American democracy, in which case any friendly discussion with him is impossible, or he isn’t, and his regime isn’t, and in that case, calling him a ‘killer’ or anything is just rude and wrong and pointless.

…As a matter of fact, MCU – and by MCU, I mean AoS – tried to do something about Russia before the ‘Black Widow’ film did. To wit, seasons 3 through 5 featured a yahoo called Anton Ivanov, who was a pitiful imitation of Ward, and who never amounted to anything because AoS just couldn’t figure out what to do with him – the man died forgotten and unlamented for, a Watchdog Alpha or not – and now MCU is returning once more to mother Russia in the characters of the Russian mafia. Sigh. Odds of them being as generic as Dreykov was in the ‘Black Widow’ movie ae quite high, hence why I am going to finish my rant for the moment, but I am not impressed, though that, of course, is irrelevant…

For now, though this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #61 - May 21

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, so let us talk about something else, anything else, really.

There’s the final season of AoS…which I’ll miss, because I’m stuck in a place that has no TV, and I’m not so certain that I’ll be able to access them via my computer, because no matter how much I love AoS, I’m not sure that it’ll be worth the money. As it is, odds are that in their final season, AoS will turn into DC’s LoT, (remember those guys?), complete with time travel and all. S.H.I.E.L.D. must save Hydra because otherwise there will be no S.H.I.E.L.D. – sigh. In the CA: CW film, Zemo made a point in telling some Hydra/ex-Hydra colonel or another that Hydra is done, gone, lost in the junkyard of history.

…Zemo was contained at the end of that movie. He’s supposed to return on ‘The Winter Soldier and the Falcon’ Disney+ series, but that series was one of the first to go down once COVID-19 was here to stay, and so that is the end of that, for the moment.

…Speaking of team DC, Ruby Rose is leaving the DC-verse. Since she was the titular character in the new ‘Batwoman’ TV series, this raises a question – just who will take over from her, and how will ‘Batwoman’ be able to spin it? The reasons here actually aren’t COVID-19-related, but RR is gone from DC-verse all the same, so what next?

…’The Lovebirds’ movie is coming to the Netflix soon, (as in tomorrow – May 22, 2020), so we will talk about it then. The ‘SCOOB!’ film did come to the screens before today, and it is yet another reboot of ‘Scooby-Doo’ in particular and of ‘Hanna-Barbara’ in general, so what is left?

Well, I wanted to talk about snakes today. They may be the youngest modern group of reptiles, and probably the most infamous, thanks to the Biblical serpent. In reality, snakes are not any more – or any less – dangerous than their closest cousins the lizards are, and as for the crocodilians… do not go there.

We have talked about various snakes on and off in the past, especially regarding the AFO episode ‘Jaguar vs. Anaconda’, where the latter had won. Why this was the wrong decision was also discussed at length, so what is left behind?

…Modern snakes are characterized by the lack of limbs, though the oldest of them all, pythons and boas, have spurs as remnants of them. Snakes’ eyelids have also ‘fused’ into goggles, making them different from the various legless lizards, such as the slowworm and the glass lizard. Many snakes are venomous, meaning that it is dangerous for them to bite you, but not vice versa, because otherwise they would be poisonous instead. The venomous snakes of North America are mostly the various pit vipers; they tend to be much more aggressive than their non-venomous counterparts are and do not hesitate to warn others of their defences – i.e., the rattlesnakes rattle, their cousins the cottonmouths (and maybe the copperheads as well) show the insides of their mouths, and so on.

…The odd ones here are the coral snakes of the southern, especially south-west USA, which are more closely related to cobras and kraits of the Old World than to the pit vipers, (which are also found in Asia, though the American species outnumber them). They are shier than the pit vipers are, but are also much more colorful, in bands of black, red and yellow that warns other animals to back away, and rightfully so, because the coral snakes are quite venomous.

There are other snakes, all over the New World, really, that imitate the coral snakes’ coloration with various degrees of authenticity – this is called mimicry, and it is a really quite amazing evolutionary devices that allows the non-venomous, very venomous, and slightly venomous snakes to co-exist with each other, while protecting each other as well, (in a manner) of speaking – but that is another story.

…For now, though, this is it. See you all soon!

Sinbad, ep 10 - Sep 9

As the show moves into the final third of S1 of Sinbad, we get hit with a bizarre episode. Well, maybe not bizarre - just not well thought through. Sinbad and Tiger (who's been called so because her father abandoned her and she was raised by tigers instead) get hired by a professor (whose name is never given) to transport her and her cargo to some island or other. Fine.

That cargo then proves to be a giant egg that hatches into a giant snake - that's also fine. Giant snakes are par-du-course for any Eastern/Oriental fantasy, so so far so good. When, however, the professor merges with her creation into one ultimate predator - that's just too much.

Let's recapitulate. The professor is, well, a mad scientist, but she acts mainly like a big bitch to everyone, though she seems to tolerate Anwar... to the point when she tried to feed Anwar to her pet but the snake ripped off her arm instead. This started the merging of professor and snake, mad scientist and her creation. Fine. I'm sure that that the screenwriters team of Kurti and Doyle had it all figured out on paper at least - let's leave it on their consciousnesses, 'cause to me it was just all ridiculous.

Sinbad and his crew, of course, had their own input on ridiculousness - they planned to use the snake monster's peanut allergy to kill it. No, I kid you not - they used crossbow darts heavily weighted down with peanuts to bring the monster down... in theory. In reality, of course, the weight of the peanuts put the darts off balance, and only one of them hit the snake...on the outside, in the neck, where peanuts did diddly squat. The bolt, on the other hand, drew attention of the monster to Sinbad, giving Gunnar the window of opportunity to hit the snake in the head with his axe repeatedly, until it stopped moving. Go Gunnar, Thor the snake-slaying thunder-god would be so proud of you, you dirty Christian...

While Gunnar saved the day (and Sinbad), what about the others? Sinbad and Tiger continue to flirt... but what about Nala? Sinbad saved her from Mr. Invincible in ep. 4, for crying out loud! Out of sight out of mind? Sheesh - no wonder then that Sinbad was in such a rush to save her in ep. 4 - if he dawdled he would've forgotten all about her instead and wouldn't that opened up a plot hole!!

The Cook shows an extreme reluctant (to put it mildly) to leave the ship - he would rather get eaten by the snake monster. Well, of course he can't - he's the ship's spirit (that's my theory, mind) and wherever the ship goes he follows. Simple.

Finally, Rina and Anwar. What was up with them? Throughout the first two thirds or so of this ep. Anwar seemed to be forging a bond with the professor, she was acting as his foil to show how far the Anwar came in his path to becoming a respected, learner and wise man of knowledge, as indicated by ep. 8, I hope. And then she merged with her snake (no pun intended) and Gunnar ended saving the day instead of Anwar. Why? What gives?

Rina, for her part, was barely in the episode at all. Again, what gives? Is she being threatened by Tiger? Was there some problem with Marama Corlett's contract at this point? I have no idea, but the absence of Rina was dissappointing. Hope that the last two episodes will give her a bigger role than this one.

So - a monster and a mad scientist both merging and going over the top (not quite jumping the shark but close), Gunnar saving the day, more insights in the Cook's nature, and the other four heroes acting lackluster. Not the best episode of the series, I say.

PS: In the next episode the search for the Land of the Dead starts in earnest, as I understand it. Homer, who had invented that domain in his "Odyssey" should totally sue IP for the copyright infringement.

PPS: Judging by the dentition, the snake was a constrictor rather than a venomous species. Ah well, don't worry Gunnar - you may meet your own Midgard serpent in time...