Loki, 'Journey into Mystery' - July 8

 Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, just ask the poor people in Florida, whose condominium has collapsed, to say nothing of the entire COVID-19 hoopla that is still continuing, and is in its’ 3^rd year by now; before long, I suspect, people will start fighting each other en masse for being pro or contra vaccination, to say nothing of anything going on above the personal level. What next?

Well, ‘Loki’ s1, (or the entire series, actually), has come to its penultimate episode, and just as I have written last week, (or thereabouts), it seems to be continuing the fine tradition of AoS in treating character deaths’… in an inconsistent manner. Agent Mobius is apparently fine and dandy, even though he and Loki have appeared to have parted ways for good on one hand, while the ‘Classical Loki’ is definitely dead, having been eaten by Alioth, which is yet another example of ‘MCU utilizing obscure Marvel trivia to great success’, I’m certain.

Listen – I enjoyed watching the ‘Classical Loki’ prance on screen, I really did, but you have to admit, that as a character who appeared only in last week’s episode’s post-credit scene and who hadn’t lasted for a full week’s episode, I’m just wasn’t invested into him as much as I had into agent M, who’s been with the audience from the show’s start. Not unlike AoS, ‘Loki’ is playing favorites in the question who lives and who dies, and that rather rankles.

On the other hand, Loki and Sylvie have reunited…wait. The duo has been apart for less than one episode…but then again, they were together for about two episodes and a bit, so, again, it is somewhat hard to take their relationship seriously… wait again. Sylvie might be her own character and not a variant Loki? You do not say!

…Before we try to generate some excitement about those two, a brief word about the ‘alligator Loki’, and it is: ‘What?’ Even the professional commenters on the MCU shows (and beyond) were stumped by it, and the closest they could come up with was ‘There was a frog Thor in the comics, why not an alligator Loki?’

Because common sense, I suppose – as a Norse god, Loki does not get associated with crocs or gators very often, (not to mention that the entire Thor/Frog combo was something of a gag originally, I suspect). The pagan god who is associated with crocodiles is the Egyptian god Sobek, who is a part of the Marvel canon, actually, but who hasn’t appeared in MCU so far…this might be his surrogate or something. (Also, was I the only one, who found MCU's Alioth to be depicted rather similarly to the cosmic serpent Apep from the 'Gods of Egypt' film from the early 2010s? I hope that this wasn't intential, because that film was bad, think of Rick Riordan's 'The Kane Chronicles' trilogy written for adults, and quite badly too - but I digress).

Listen again: the show’s title is ‘Loki’, and the show is about Loki, after all – the one that had appeared in MCU movies and etc. from the start. The ‘kid Loki’ is his past. The ‘classical Loki’ had been his future but now Loki is making a new one, with Sylvie, (at least for now). The ‘boastful Loki’ is the opposite of the titular one, hence why they are the most different – physically – from each other. The ‘alligator Loki’ is the outsider, thrown in here for variety, the ‘president Loki’ is the evil – ok, eviller – twin of the titular character, and hence why he must be defeated. I am certain that the psychologists can define all of this ‘headology’ much more professionally than I can, and so they probably will, after the show is over, in various YouTube videos, but that is their call. Is there anything left for us in the ‘Journey into Mystery’?

No, not really. For all of its’ window dressing, ‘Loki’ is a very simple, baseline show, actually – it’s a ‘hero’s journey’ cliché, in which a young man ventures forth, and finds everything that he needs to become a man, including love and a family. Yes, Sylvie can argue that the same can be said about a woman – fair enough. She and Loki have found each other and so Sylvie’s quest against the space god-lizards have progressed much quicker than it had before, so there! …Anything else?

Well, the ‘Black Widow’ film will be officially available tomorrow, so we will discuss it then, or maybe even next week. Marvel’s ‘What If?’ TV series will arrive only in August, so, again, we will have to discuss that then. The last week’s episode of ‘Loki’ was padding, because of the S1’s plot simplicity: if the god of chaos got only a 5-episode S1, it would simply be sad.

Therefore, for now, this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #82 - June 11

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks, and I cannot even escape into AoS, because I am currently trapped where it is not available, (because there is no TV and all). Pause.

Well, because I do not want to tackle reality just yet, I will acknowledge that for the moment the final season of AoS is still staying in the AC time period – aka the post-WWII USA and they have already encountered their very first racist – a certain Mr. Sharpe. Right now, the character is mostly a comic relief, (this is the first time he has appeared in MCU period, and given AoS’ record of accomplishment, and it is possible that he will soon die anyhow… where were we?)

Ah yes, the racist. AC itself fiddled with the issue of racism in the USA post-WWII, especially in the second season, when agent – now chief – David Sousa suddenly had a non-captain Rogers’ rival for agent Carter’s heart of an Afro-American descent, cough – but now…

Well, now it seems that the final season of AoS is stealing plot ideas from the third season of AC that never was, which is good. Marvel’s ‘InHumans’ actually did manifest despite AoS’ present, and the result was insipid, and also cancelled after a single season, even though despite its’ flaws, it had a better, more compact plot than AoS usually had. Disney rocks?

Getting back to the issue of racism in the States, in particular – now, listen: the George Floyd situation manifested because of management and mismanagement of the protests, the Americans wanted a diversion from COVID-19, and so they got it! Now, people are talking about reforming the police, (a major federal organization, putting it mildly), Confederate statues are being pulled down, (seriously, what the Hell?!), and COVID-19 was put on a backburner, though now it is coming back – either because the George Floyd narrative has ran its’ course, the man has been buried, and, hopefully, at least some people on the top of the American society have begun to think as to what COVID-19 will do to American population now that the self-isolation was effectively torn down.

…As we have said before, in Canada the situation is different, less intense, and more artificial-feeling. It is possible that Trudeau is using it as a smoke screen… period, because he isn’t handling the COVID-19 chaos very well, but then again, right now, Canada is supposedly run by a Liberal/Conservative/NDP joint effort, and where are the other two? Scheer keeps on fighting with Trudeau, the end, and Singh, (for whom and whose NDP party I have voted, FYI), is simply a no-show. The Hell? Trudeau is flawed, (though he is better than the American Donald is by default), but at least he is trying to do something, which is more than you can say about the other two. Sigh. Canada may be better than the U.S. is, but these days? That is not much to go on about.

Now, today I actually wanted to talk about bears, but somehow I was never able to get into the right frame of mind. Pity, because actually bears are quite fascinating mammals, hailing from the Eocene epoch, aka practically the very beginning of the Cenozoic. Their various species and genera came and went, but in the modern times? There are only eight species in three genera, including the giant panda that we have discussed earlier. It is the most ancient of the modern bears, and one of the most specialized, and probably one of the smallest ones too, (I am sorry, but compared to a brown bear? The giant panda is not that huge).

At the other end of the spectrum we have the polar bear, the most recent of the modern bears, that we have already discussed on this blog, for it was featured on AFO, where it’d lost to a walrus, as well as its’ closest cousins – the brown bear, (defeated a Siberian tiger), and the American black bear, (who took down the American Alligator). This leaves with the spectacled bear, the sloth bear, and the sun and the moon bears.

The moon bear is the Asian black bear, which is an ecological counterpart to the American black bear, and whom we have discussed in the past, largely because of the conjunction to the American black bear, (the American alligator and the Chinese alligator were featured as well).

The sun bear is also called the Malaysian bear, and it is one of the smallest bears, possibly smaller than even the giant panda is – and is one of the most arboreal of all the modern bears. Unlike the moon bear, its’ patch on the chest is yellow rather than white, hence the ‘sun bear’ moniker.

…Conversely, the sloth bear, (aka the true bear from the ‘Jungle Book’) usually has no patch on its’ chest, but when it does, it is white. The same goes for the American black bear, actually – usually, this bear is colored in a single color, but sometimes it does have a white patch on its’ chest instead, (though it ought to be noted that an American black bear can be of any color actually, not just black, but also cinnamon brown or creamy white).

…The spectacled bear usually doesn’t have a mark on its’ chest – instead, it has ‘spectacles’ on its’ face, and it is the only modern survivor of the short-faced bear lineage, (remember, it was featured on the ‘Prehistoric Predators’ series?). That said, those ‘spectacles’ can look very different from one spectacled bear to another, and some can reach the chest area, I suppose. In fact, physically speaking, all bears look like each other, and aside from the brown and polar bears, (which are each other’s closest relatives out of all the modern bears), and the giant panda too, I suppose, all of the modern bears are colored similarly too – in black, with lighter patches of fur on its’ back. Even the giant panda’s black-and-white checkered coat might have evolved from a similar design as well; what do you think?

…For now though, this is it. See you all soon!

Quarantine entry #44 - May 4

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. No, I am not talking about the COVID-19 for the moment, but rather about the Asian giant hornets, better known as the Japanese killer hornets. A couple of inches long at least, and armed with a stinger and venom glands to match, this insect is more hated for killing honeybee colonies, especially outside of its’ native range in Asia, where the local honeybee populations have been known to swarm scouting specimens of this species and literally cook them to death, using their special powers. Pause.

Now, so far, (May 4, 2020), the giant hornets were spotted in the West, in the Washington state (and maybe the province of British Columbia). There were about one or two specimens of this giant insect, but given everything – they may devastate honeybee colonies, but their venomous stingers can kill humans and other creatures as well – everyone is panicking already, especially since with the COVID-19 still on the loose, humanity’s control over nature is more tenuous than how it usually is. What next?

Back in the East, in Brampton, Ontario, an American beaver got confused for an American alligator, or something similar among those lines. Considering that recently, (about May 3, 2020, or so), a woman in the U.S. state of South Caroline did die from an alligator attack, there is some reasoning beneath all the hysteria – I hope. The American beaver is one of the bigger rodents in the world and it is certainly the biggest in North America, and people have certainly died from beaver attacks, as a matter of fact – but proportionally, there are fewer beaver attacks, successful and otherwise, than there are alligator attacks, (and the fact that there are more horror movies featuring American alligators than beavers has a reason, you know?).

Pause. I will not tell a lie – today, I planned revisit our old friends the elephants. Why? Why not? It’s May the 4^th, people are talking about SW related jokes all over the Internet, and I’m feeling despondent – yes, the 2^nd season of ‘The Mandalorian’ is coming to Netflix, or Disney Plus, or some other streaming service… and judging by the trailer, Marvel’s GotG and the last two ‘Avengers’ movies left a mark on the SW series – baby Yoda is more of a teen now, and he acts rather like how the teen Groot acted in the aforementioned Marvel films. And-?

And nothing. The last SW movie ended on a low note for all sorts of reasons, (though the Rey/Kylo Ren ship lives on), including the fact that it was a damage control attempt that failed. So far, ‘The Mandalorian’ is the SW franchise’s last and only attempt to fix itself, and if it tries to do so by ripping-off the Marvel franchise… not cool.

…Yes, the ‘Trolls 2’ movie has also ripped off the last two ‘Avengers’ films, but they tried to be subtle-ish about it, plus this film did end on a rather different movie than the ‘Avengers: Endgame’ film did, so it kind of blew over and vanished in the COVID-19-related smog of obscurity. The fact that it was aimed at a younger audience than the ‘Avengers’ films did probably did not hurt either. ‘The Mandalorian’ does not have that.

What does it have? Plenty of distance, (especially metaphorically speaking) from the SW Sequel Trilogy, which was not good. It was not bad, but it certainly was not good either. The 1^st season of ‘The Mandalorian’ established that it was not connected to the Sequel Trilogy… or at least it did not appear to when the 1^st season was aired. Now that the movies are over for the moment, and we don’t have much information about the 2^nd season so far, the situation can always change – and as we’ve talked about above, the 2^nd season of ‘The Mandalorian’ may fail due to its’ own flaws and not be related to the Sequel Trilogy at all…

…Well, this is it for now. See you all soon! May the Fourth be with you indeed!

Quarantine entry #13 - April 3

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. It goes on, but it still sucks. I am tired of reiterating it, but there is only so much fresh material that I can use, and what is left, anyhow?

…Well, not DW – I am putting it on hold again, maybe AFO? Therefore, I watched its’ penultimate episode – ‘American Alligator vs. Black Bear’, and again, I was hit that the Black Bear won where the lion had failed – in luck: the Nile Crocodile was able to get a good grip, and the American Alligator was not. That all it took.

…Now, when we have discussed this episode for the first time, I made something of a comment that it was important that both of those animals were American, because otherwise? There’s a Chinese alligator that lives in China, (i.e. only in the Yangtze River) and there’s an Asian black bear, also known as the moon bear, which is roughly the same size as the American black bear, save that it has a white spot on its’ chest. Now, the American black bear is usually monochrome in color – the basic color is black, but there is also cinnamon, brown, even white – the spirit bear of the West Coast. However, it is all solid color, no spots or anything else. As a matter of fact, only the American black bear, the brown bear, and the polar bear are all-monochrome: the giant panda, (which is lately been identified as a true bear once more), is decisively chiaroscuro, while the other bears, while usually black, also usually have a splash of white on their chests or muzzles.

The main coloring exception is the Malaysian bear, probably the smallest (physically) bear of them all: its’ spot on the chest is not white, as in case of the Himalayan bear, but yellow. Hence, the whole sun/moon bear dichotomy, I suppose…

Back to the alligators? Of the alligators and caimans, the American alligator is the biggest, while the Chinese alligator is slightly over two m in length and weighs about 45-50 kg – that is compatible with a grown-up human man. Considering that without firearms bears kill humans easily enough – well, the brown and the American black bears do – I doubt that the moon bear is any different, as it is the Old World counterpart to the American black bear. Plus, the Chinese alligator is less confrontational than its’ American relative, so, again, I doubt that it would’ve went after any bear the same way that the American alligator went after the American black bear on AFO. Anything else?

Well, the Chinese alligator is the only member of the alligator and caiman branch that lives in the Old World, while the New World has several species of true crocodiles living alongside alligators and caimans in the American tropics. However, aside from the American crocodile per se, they are fairly shy and retiring creatures, and they are much harder to see than the crocodiles of Africa and Australasia, especially the Nile and the saltwater crocodiles.

…The Old World also has the gharials, the final members of the crocodilian family. Previously, they were thought to consist only of the ‘true’ gharial, as opposed to the ‘false’ gharial, which was supposed to be one of the ‘true’ crocodiles’, but now it is also part of the gharial group. Sometimes animal classification can have some real twists and turns – just look at the pandas, (getting back to the bears). I.e., these days the aforementioned giant panda is a true bear once more, while the red or lesser panda belongs to its own family, and apparently consists of two species, rather than just one. And yes, the two species of red panda are very similar to each other, only a specialist can distinguish between them, but, nevertheless, there is two of them. Hah.

…Well, this is it for now. The lockdown still sucks. Life still sucks. Anything else is up for discussion. See you all soon!

Crawl - July 14

Obligatory disclaimer: real life sucks. That said, this goes for everyone, and everyone is connected to everyone else in proportions, and thus, no matter how much my life is bad, the life of those people in the apartment building down the street that caught fire earlier today is probably worse than mine is, right now. Now onto the movies!

This time, since we are talking about life, its’ unpleasantness and disasters, let us talk about ‘Crawl’. It was released in theatres on July 12, 2019, and we have talked about it earlier, when the trailer had been released. It is possible that people forgot about both our discussion and the movie – unlike ‘Spider-Man: Far From Home’, for example, it never made much of an effort to catch the attention of potential viewers, who knows why…

As for the plot, it is a disaster movie: the main character goes home to check on her estranged father, and the two of them end up trapped in their house, as the hurricane brings the flood – and the flood brings at least two American alligators. And?

And this is it, actually – ‘Crawl’ is a horror movie, not that different from ‘The Shallows’, for example, and many other films, except that its’ monsters are American alligators, not sharks. Hence why it is worthwhile to be mentioned – you do not get too many movies that feature alligators (or crocodiles for that matter) these days.

As for the American alligator these days… First, we have discussed it not just as the monster of the ‘Crawl’ movie in question, but also as one of the contestants/combatants on AFO, remember? On that show, the American alligator fought the American black bear and lost. Why it lost specifically is a different question, but what interests us right now is that it was depicted very accurately, from a scientific point of view; before it faced-off with the black bear per se, the two animals were compared and contrasted to each other very succinctly, and we saw the differences between these two carnivores shown to us professionally. To be more precise, like its’ crocodile cousins, the American alligator (or the American caiman, in Spanish), is a crusher: unlike carnivorous mammals, (or sharks, actually), crocodiles, alligators and caimans slam their jaws shut on their victims, and then shake their heads or even go into death rolls to rip smaller chunks from their meals – if they can’t swallow their prey whole from the start, that is. Next?

Aside from AFO, the American alligator has also appeared on the ‘River Monsters’ TV series, on the episode 1x03, aka ‘Alligator Gar’. This episode, not surprisingly, was about the titular fish, but the American alligator appeared there too, as part of JW’s effort to clean-up the alligator gar’s reputation as a man-eater and a river monster. It worked, at least as far as JW and his show were concerned, but what is important to us is that the American alligator can, and does, (or did), attack people, contrary to its’ reputation as a meek and mild-mannered creature, as compared to its’ cousins, the Nile and the saltwater crocodiles. No argument here, the American alligator is smaller than those two, but it is still the biggest member of the alligator and caiman side of the crocodilian family and must be treated with respect. When compared to another one of its’ crocodile cousins – the so-called American crocodile, the American alligator is bulkier, more angular, less streamlined, with a proportionally shorter and broader muzzle. As such, scientists have determined that that means that the American alligator eats less fish and ambushes more animals from the shoreline than the American crocodile does. I.e. the stereotypical crocodile lies in wait in the water and waits for animals to come to the river to drink, after which it strikes. This happens in real life, but there are always other options – sometimes the Nile crocodile, (which is the stereotypical crocodile, FYI), hunts fish in the African rivers; other times it lunges at birds that are skimming the water surface instead; and so forth. However, its prey of choice are land animals that come to the water edge to drink and therefore the Nile crocodile has a large, broad, almost angular head that has plenty of anchoring space for muscles and has a very powerful bite. The skull of the American alligator is smaller, (because it is smaller than the Nile crocodile is, period), but it is built along the same lines, much more so than the American crocodile or the alligator gar skulls, so yes, the potential for the American alligator to be a man-eater is there.

…That said, ‘Crawl’ is still a fully fictional movie, as we’ve discussed it earlier: American alligators may be aquatic reptiles, but their eggs – unlike the eggs of frogs and newts – need to stay high and dry, and not be water-logged; this puts the reptiles at something of a disadvantage against fish and amphibians; if it hadn’t been for the smaller mass extinction at the end of the Triassic period, the world might’ve been a very different place from what we know it to be. (Or not, given that the Mesozoic, the Age of Reptiles, ended on a much bigger mass extinction event than the Triassic did). Where were we?

As a movie, ‘Crawl’ is a decent horror movie, and it is certainly worth going to it once – by itself, with your family/friends/significant other/etc. to enjoy it. Otherwise, you might as well watch ‘Stuber’, or re-watch ‘Spider-Man 2019’ movie instead, period. The conflict feels forced and contrived at times; the half-assed basement of the protagonists’ family home may be the least realistic element of the movie; and the character development is pointless and distractive, not unlike what we have seen in ‘The Shallows’, but this is neither there nor here. Go to the movies and enjoy it. Or not. It is your call.

This is it for now; see you all soon.

PS: And in conclusion, here is a couple of customized carnivorous plants from Pathfinder First Edition RPG, (just because). Enjoy!

ERUPHYTE ASSASSIN VINE CR 4

XP 800

N Large plant

Init +0; Senses blindsight 30 ft., low-light vision, thoughtsense 60 ft.; Perception +1

DEFENSE

AC 15, touch 9, flat-footed 15 (+6 natural, –1 size)

hp 30 (4d8+12)

Fort +7, Ref +1, Will +2

Immune electricity, plant traits; Resist cold 10 and fire 10

OFFENSE

Speed 5 ft.

Melee slam +7 (1d8+7 plus grab)

Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft.

Special Attacks constrict (1d8+7), entangle, thoughtspear (2d8; Will DC 18 half).

STATISTICS

Str 20, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 6, Wis 13, Cha 9

Base Atk +3; CMB +9 (+13 grapple); CMD 19 (can't be tripped)

Feats –

Skills -

Language telepathy 60 ft.

SQ bardic knowledge (CL 2^nd), camouflage

ECOLOGY

Environment temperate forests

Organization solitary, pair, or patch (3–6)

Treasure incidental

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Camouflage (Ex): Since an assassin vine looks like a normal plant when at rest, a DC 20 Perception check is required to notice it before it attacks for the first time. Anyone with ranks in Survival or Knowledge (nature) can use either of those skills instead of Perception to notice the plant.

Entangle (Su): An assassin vine can, as a free action, cause plants within 30 feet of it to animate and grasp at foes. This ability is otherwise similar to entangle (CL 4th, DC 13). The save DC is Wisdom-based.

RAMPANT BASIDIROND CR 6

XP 1,600

N Medium plant

Init +1; Senses low-light vision, tremorsense; Perception +0

Aura growth

DEFENSE

AC 18, touch 11, flat-footed 17 (+1 Dex, +7 natural)

hp 80 (7d8+49)

Fort +8, Ref +3, Will +2

Immune cold, plant traits; regeneration 5 (negative energy)

Weaknesses cold lethargy, negative energy

OFFENSE

Speed 20 ft.

Melee slam +10 (1d8+7 plus spores)

Special Attacks hallucination cloud, spores

STATISTICS

Str 20, Dex 13, Con 20, Int —, Wis 11, Cha 1

Base Atk +5; CMB +10; CMD 21 (25 vs. trip)

SQ verdant genesis

ECOLOGY

Environment any non-cold underground

Organization solitary, pair, or grove (3–8)

Treasure incidental

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Hallucination Cloud (Ex) As a standard action once per minute, a basidirond can release a cloud of invisible spores in a 20-foot radius. All creatures within the area must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or be affected by powerful hallucinations as long as they remain in the cloud plus 1d4 rounds after leaving the area. A new save must be made each round a creature remains within the affected area. A hallucination cloud persists for 5 rounds before dispersing—a strong wind causes it to disperse immediately. The save DC is Constitution-based. To determine what hallucination is suffered each round, roll 1d6 and consult the following table.

d6 Hallucination

1 You're sinking in quicksand! Fall prone and spend 1 round flailing your arms and legs as if trying to swim.

2 Attacked by a swarm of spiders! Spend a full round action to attack the floor near you with your weapon.

3 An item you hold has turned into a viper! Drop it and flee from the item at top speed for 1 round.

4 You're suffocating! Stand in place, hold your breath, and clutch at your throat for 1 round.

5 You've shrunk to 1/10th your normal size! Take no actions for 1 round and monsters won't see you.

6 You're melting! Grasp hold of yourself in an attempt to hold yourself together, and take no actions for 1 round.

Spores (Ex) Any creature struck by a basidirond's slam attack is coated with spores. The creature struck must make a DC 16 Fortitude save or these spores take root in his flesh, and particularly in his lungs. The save DC is Constititon-based.Basidirond Spores: Disease—inhaled; save Fort DC 16; frequency 1/round for 6 rounds; effect 1d2 Con damage; cure 1 save.

Cold Lethargy (Ex) Although a basidirond is immune to cold damage, any cold effect it is exposed to slows it for 1d4 rounds. During this time, the basidirond cannot use its hallucination cloud or spores.

Any comments? Criticisms?

CD, 'B Sides' - May 2

Obligatory disclaimer: real life is not very good, to put it lightly. Now onto C&D.

In this week’s episode, ‘B Sides’, the script writers took ques from the C&D comic arc ‘Shades of Grey’, complete with a villain who enslaves others by getting into their minds and draining them of their energy, in a matter of speaking. Put otherwise, this is a variant vampire mixed with Killgrave from Netflix’s JJ, complete with a female minion (ala JJ), who has been completely brainwashed, in a matter not unlike how Kara/agent 33 was brainwashed on AoS S2.

…Yes, AoS S6 is returning to TV next Friday, (May 10, 2019), and from the current trailer, we can already see that Gregg’s new character is a villain of some sort, rather than a hero; or at least – an anti-hero. Gosh! How new and exciting! Not.

Since S1, AoS had had the following themes in its plot: doppelgangers with different alignments often played by the same actors. Dalton did it with Ward…period, and also with Hive in S3. (Hive was never Ward; Ward may not have had any powers ever in AoS TV canon, but he was the more dangerous villain out of the two by far; I am a fan of his, but how he destroyed Coulson’s morals at cost of his own life? Brutal. This is what Coulson got from messing with a suicidal man – but we have digressed). Wen did in S2 as Palamas, (primarily in the first half of the season), and then in S4 as the LMD version of herself. Actually, everyone in the ‘main cast’ of AoS S4 got replaced by LMDs at that time – and later on they got to play slightly different versions of themselves, (including Dalton as Ward, cough), so Gregg playing a different character that just happens to look like someone else, cough, from the past is nothing new.

…Furthermore, Gregg’s new character just happens to look exactly like the old main male lead who had conveniently died between S5 and S6, so there’s no conflict of interest, and no need to juggle two roles and being the showrunner for at least the S6 premiere episode either. Consequently, odds are he will not be killed-off in the first few episodes, because AoS needs Coulson.

Well no, not really, but the cast and crew of AoS clearly consider Gregg to be an integral part of the team or something, so he is going to stay at AoS for S6 at least. I may be wrong, but I am still making this bet. (There are noises that AoS is going to be cancelled in summer 2019, but considering that it just got revamped by being associated with the MCU’s CM movie, it is not very likely). Ergo, his new character will probably be redeemed or something along those lines, as the AoS S6 title promo implied. AoS already planned to do something like that in S2 with Ward, but then they threw a curveball…the end of that. Coulson/not Coulson will probably be luckier, cough, but where were we?

…Talking about movies, I suppose. A trailer for yet another film came out today – ‘Crawlers’. Basically, it is a monster movie about an Anglo-American heroine, her father and dog, getting stuck in a hurricane-driven flood with some monstrous alligators who eat people. Oh Hell.

Where to begin? First, there are supposedly three species of crocodilians living in the U.S.: the American Alligator, (2-5 m long), the American Crocodile (2-4 m long) and the Spectacled Caiman (1-2 m long). The latter is an introduced species, yet another exotic reptile that escaped into the wilds of Florida and the rest of the southeast USA. Of the three, the American Alligator is the most common, but also – is the most retiring and does not like to attack, kill and eat humans as a rule. The American Crocodile and the Spectacled Caiman are more aggressive, but they also have a smaller range than their Alligator relative does; plus I am honestly not sure that there are wild/feral Spectacled Caiman living on the USA territory – the sources are controversial and can go either direction. What is the point?

…My point that the alligators of ‘Crawlers’ are unrealistic, and given that we see the movie’s main character destroying their eggs, they are unreal. Unlike the eggs of fish and amphibians, the eggs of reptiles must be kept dry and out of water; the nest of crocodilians, (including the gharials, the most aquatic of them all) are always kept well away from the water, and the mother crocs and gators bring the young to the water via a journey, (short or otherwise), in their jaws – just look at a BBC or a NatGeo crocodile special, for example. If there was a flood in a crocodile or alligator nesting area, it would be a disaster, as their nests and eggs would be lost. (Yes, just as their bird/dinosaur cousins’ crocodilians make nests. They are different from bird nests, but still nests). Ergo, no gator (or croc, or caiman) nests in a hurricane/flood area – they do not really exist. ‘Crawlers’ reptile monsters’ offspring just wouldn’t be able to survive – baby crocodilians are really fragile and vulnerable, unlike their parents…

Back to C&D, since on one hand, they already have a doppelganger of their own – Mayhem, via detective O’Reily – and on the other, they are located in the southeastern USA, where alligators and etc. live, but not really. It is already clear that Dy is in trouble and Ty is going to save her, and she will save him, and together they will rock, as they rocked in the ‘Shades of Grey’ comic. Good luck to them!

…This is it for this time; see you next time!

When the Whales Walked - Dec 23

It so happened that I came across Dougal Dixon’s book, ‘When the Whales Walked’. It is a book for children, with little text but plenty of illustrations, and it talked about evolution. Again, it is a book for children, with little text, but plenty of illustrations, but as it usually happens with Mr. Dixon, the text there could have used some work.

What are the problems of WWW? Firstly, an overly basic reduction of the terms. What is evolution in child-friendly terms? There is a population of fuzzy (or fluffy) woobies, where all look the same. Eventually, a mountain range rises up and splits the wooby population into two. One population eventually ends up living in a savanna, where it evolves longer legs to further and faster cool down in the warm climate, and also to better attract mates with the coloration of their legs. The second population ends up living in a tundra, where it evolves shorter legs to preserve more of its’ body heat, and also tusks or claws designed to scratch out worms and other invertebrates in the harsh and hard tundra soil, upon which it feeds. As enough time passes the two wooby populations change enough so to become two different species instead of a single one, the end.

Sounds simple, right? Team Dixon tried to go one further, by reducing the population by just one. Namely, there is a single new island in the sea, with a single food source – some sort of shrimp. Some sea birds can survive on it, but only those that can eat shrimp. Those who cannot leave or die, with the remnant eventually forming a new species. Straightforward? Yes, but also unrealistic. In real life, there is never a single food source in a new place, such as a new volcanic island in the sea. (To those people in Indonesia who died in the tsunami – our hearts go out to you). There are always several, (even now, with human overfishing and environment pollution), and there are always several bird species on any island. To reduce them to a single one is too much, too absurdedly much.

Secondly, there is the use of the word ‘mutation’. Broadly speaking, ‘mutation’ means ‘transformation’, ‘change’, but due to various modern mass media influences, (especially Marvel and DC comics, movies and TV/online series), these days it is usually associated with a physical change – say, male birds, such as the fowl, sprouting new features, such as tails and head crests, or male elephants keeping their tusks, while the females – not so much. (Female Asian elephants usually lack them). In reality, however, evolutionary changes can mean not only physical changes, but also behavioral ones – i.e., sea otters learning how to use rocks to smash shellfish and sea urchins, Galapagos woodpecker finch using cactus spines to catch grubs, or Homo Erectus, a human ancestor, learning how to utilize fire.

…Okay, true, at least 90% of the WWW book is dedicated to the various animals evolving into new species by acquiring new physical traits – i.e., whales going from the Indohyus, an animal more similar to the modern mouse deer, to the modern species, such as the blue whale. Fair enough, but even that has went somewhat wonky, at least once: when the book talked about crocodile evolution raising a suggestion that once upon a time, (in the Triassic), crocodiles were very different animals and even warm-blooded – unlike today, when they are cold-blooded. This is an interesting topic, so let us elaborate on it.

Firstly, the crocodiles belong to the archosaur family, which also includes pterosaurs, non-avian dinosaurs, and birds. Kudos to WWW for uniqueness by pointedly not mentioning non-avian dinosaurs, BTW – you do not often find this approach in a paleontology book, especially one for the children.

Secondly, modern crocodiles and their cousins are only distantly related to the Mesozoic species that are featured in WWW and similar books. ‘The Complete Guide to Prehistoric Life’, which featured prehistoric animals that were chosen to appear in the currently defunct ‘Impossible Pictures’, ‘Walking with…’ series. Among them were four extinct cousins of the modern crocodiles: Proterosuchus, Postosuchus, Metriorhynchus and Sarcosuchus. All four of them were different from each other, and while at least one of them – Sarcosuchus, (which also appeared in WWW), was physically similar to the modern crocodiles, ‘Guide’ made it a point to say that the modern crocodiles, caimans and alligators were only distantly related to their extinct cousins, which is true – if you put a modern species, say the saltwater crocodile, next to one of their Triassic cousins, you’ll get two different animals.

But what does their Triassic cousins look like? Postosuchus, Saurosuchus, Carnufex and co. looked like a cross between a modern crocodile and a mammal: they walked on all four legs, and those legs were directly beneath their bodies, as they are in mammals and archosaurs, (including birds), not splayed to their sides, as they are in lizards or tortoises, or even modern crocodiles. That is because they are only distantly related to them, and may be actually more closely related to the ancestors of the dinosaurs proper instead.

…Dinosaur phylogeny is confusing by itself; there are three main groups – theropods, sauropodomorphs and ornitishchia – aka the meat-eaters, the long-necked plant-eaters, and every other species. As a rule, the carnivores and the long-necked herbivores form one main dinosaur group – the lizard-hipped dinosaurs while the other dinosaurs form the second – the bird-hipped. Now, however, there is a suggestion that the carnivorous dinosaurs were more closely related to the bird-hipped herbivores, while the long-necked herbivores more closely related to the initial species, such as staurikosaurus, herrerosaurus, eoraptor and etc. It is a mess, and so far, there is no final verdict on it – and the same goes regarding whether or not dinosaurs were warm-blooded. Birds are, of course, while the crocodiles are not. Yes, the American alligator can handle cold temperatures, including cold snaps, which allows it to move further north in North America than its’ main rival, the American crocodile can. (Yes, there are two different species of the crocodilian reptiles in the modern North America). However, it is still very much cold-blooded, and it is not really related to birds either. (Aka the modern dinosaurs). Even the scientists who use alligators and crocodiles for models for dinosaur behavior do not deny that these reptiles are not real dinosaurs either, not literally.

In other news, as far as scientists are concerned, that when it comes to the archosaur family tree, the crocodiles derived first, followed by the pterosaurs, and finally the avian/non-avian dinosaur split. This means that the whatever evolutionary factors allowed some dinosaurs, (primarily birds), to become warm-blooded as the mammals are, (and mammals are a completely separate branch of the tree of life, BTW), never appeared in crocodiles, especially the modern species, but ditto for the extinct ones. The Triassic was marked, in the end, by a mass extinction, but it was not due to an Ice Age, but to a volcanic eruption instead and a prolonged drought, oxygen level loss, etc. Unlike the birds (and their ancestors) that appeared during the Cretaceous, neither crocodiles nor their ancestors had to deal with cold temperatures when they were evolving per se, and as such, they never did. This is why in the modern times crocodiles are restricted to the tropics, while the birds are not. They are warm-blooded, (as were their ancestors, apparently), while the crocodiles never were. To call the ancestral crocodiles ‘warm-blooded’ is doubly wrong. However…

However, aside from this gaffe, and the previously mentioned two mistakes, WWW is a good book for children. It tries to be both entertaining and educational and it does a good job at succeeding. True, the stories go all over the place, but so did R. Kipling’s ‘Just-So-Stories’, and they work well enough to become a classic in their own right, (cough Mowgli cough). Who knows, maybe one day WWW or one of its book fellows will become a classic in its’ own right. We will just have to wait and see.

This is it for now; see you all soon.

PS: And to all of you, a Happy Christmas for tomorrow

Rampage II - Feb 14

And so, I got a look at the second ‘Rampage’ movie trailer. And?

And it is still a crazy mess, with a giant gorilla, and equally giant crocodile/alligator/monitor lizard, and a giant wolf makes it an even three. But now, there is also a newer development that had become obvious only now: this is a kaiju movie rip-off!

…Or an imitation clone, fair enough, but still. In the last few years, the ‘shared kaiju universe’, (or whatever it is properly called), is centered around both King Kong and Godzilla, as well, as their upcoming conflicts, both with each other and King Ghidorah, another giant monster, (a giant three-headed variant dragon from space). Ergo, now we have ‘Rampage’, which has a giant gorilla to substitute for KK, a giant reptile to substitute for Godzilla, (and the second trailer shows that this duo will fight), and a giant wolf because… he was in the original video game? (I believe that the wolf’s name in the game was Ralph, so it is a ‘he’). Not the best reason to star in a movie, but there were worse ones, so there’s that. Anything else?

The thing is that as far as movies go, ‘Rampage’ seems to be simply lazy. When the aborted ‘Dark Universe’ spawned the new version of the ‘Mummy’ movie it did precisely that – yet another reboot of the franchise, at least in part because the trilogy about Nick, Evie and their family became clearly exhausted by the time of the third movie, (dealing with a crazy-evil resurrected ancient Chinese emperor for a change), so something new had to be done – and it was done, and the last ‘Mummy’ movie version also featured a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, so it did try to be different; it just wasn’t very good at it, it seems – but it tried to be original, (to a point, because by now the ‘Mummy’ is a classic for an obvious reason – everyone knows what it is about), and if it didn’t work, it still tried. 

‘Rampage’ on the other hand, currently seems to be shaping into a ‘Kong vs. Godzilla’ movie – before the actual ‘Kong vs. Godzilla’ movie gets aired. …Oh wait, this movie was made and aired in the 1960s, so this version of the kaiju universe is just another reboot. What a surprise! Not.

On a more serious note, the ‘Mummy’ reboot was exactly that – a mix of the time-tested and original and it has failed. It happens. By contrast, ‘Rampage’ is an imitation of a ‘Kong vs. Godzilla’ kaiju movie in the trappings of a 1980s/90s game, which consisted of monsters smashing buildings… period. Not very highbrow, and even an imitation of a kaiju movie is a step upwards here, though not by much, and ‘the Rock’ has stolen the trailers, both of them, so far.

He does get around – he was in the ‘Baywatch’ reboot, (not exactly a success either), and he will be in ‘Rampage’, and he was in the ‘Jumanji’ reboot…which, not unlike the ‘Mummy’, was a franchise reboot, trying to package an old story in a new, different package. Here, the franchise succeeded; the new ‘Jumanji’ is not really like the original movie, aside from some basic similarities, of course, so there is that. Yay for it…and it did not try to imitate the original movie either, so there is a lesson to be learned… other than that ‘the Rock’ can make anything look good, especially in a trailer. Is that it?

Yes, although there is a new ‘Warhammer’ game coming forth – ‘Vermintide 2’. We already saw one of the new PCs of the game – the ‘Kerillian’. This is an elf warrior, whose options include a stereotypical elven archer, (and a very good one), an assassin-type rogue, armed with twin swords, reminiscent of FH’s Shaman and a spear-wielding fighter, who is more like FH’s Valkyrie instead. Go FH team Viking, then! The ‘Black Panther’ movie is coming forth this week too, and AWE Me YouTube channel released a new video of ‘Men-At-Arms’, as they made a spear from that franchise. Actually, it too is similar to FH’s Valkyrie’s spear – a weapon that is designed for stabbing, rather than slicing. Go FH team Viking times too! In addition, of course, the conclusion to ‘Fifty Shades’ movie trilogy will be released this week… and odds are not in its’ favor.

…Well, this is it for now; see you all later!

AFO: Alligator vs. Black Bear - June 29

This week is proving to be much more exciting than the past ones; a new ‘DM’ movie is coming to the cinema at last; this is primarily a children’s franchise, so I cannot say that I am the biggest fan of these films.

Then there is the new TV promo for the new ‘Marvel’s InHumans’ series. So far, the viewers are not being impressed, let alone overwhelmed; many think that Lockjaw the dog is the best character of them all, and he is CGI’ed. In addition, he is a dog, not a human, so does make him an InDog instead? Never mind; my point is that I am more excited about the upcoming ‘Jumanji’ movie, and I am not its’ biggest fan either. I remember the original film very enough, it was good, and it was also less controversial than the upcoming rehash is, because it was more child-friendly and less sexualized and edgy. (Does ‘Jumanji’ even need that?)

…As for the upcoming new movie of the ‘Jurassic Park’/’Jurassic World’ franchise… so far we got some single shots and a poster – not too much to go on. The original JW movie was not bad, just… somewhat reminiscent of the SWII movie – not bad, but still nowhere as good as the original SW trilogy was.

This probably brings up back to the TV land, as ‘Killjoys’ S3 is coming to TV tomorrow, (June 30, 2017), or so. ‘Killjoys’ are a very enjoyable TV show, and I am honestly excited about seeing the S3 in the future, (hopefully. Things will be chaotic at our house in the near future, so I do not know how well I will be able to keep up with the series. In the meantime, though, I have been re-watching AFO – the ‘Alligator vs. Black Bear’ episode, so let us talk a bit about it instead.

Firstly, a dash of classification. The proper name of the episode is the ‘American Alligator vs. American Black Bear’, because overseas, in Asia, lives a Chinese Alligator, (possibly the closest relative to the American species), as well as an Asiatic Black Bear, (whose relationship with the American Black Bear is more vague).

The Chinese Alligator lives only in China, and may be extinct in the wild. It looks like its American cousin, but it is smaller, and has an armored belly, (and the American Alligator does not). The Asiatic Black Bear looks basically just like any other bear, (including the Giant Panda), but it is usually black, save for a large white patch on its’ chest, hence it is also called a moon bear – as opposed to the sun bear, which lives in southeast Asia, (and the Asiatic Black Bear lives – these days – in Bangladesh, China, and Russia, more to the north), is called a Malaysian bear for that reason, and the patch on its’ chest is yellow instead. The American Black Bear usually does not have a patch on its chest…but sometimes it does, and it is not always black; sometimes it is brown or even creamy white. Isn’t taxonomy fun?

But the science of classifying animals (and plants) aside, one of the reasons why the crew of AFO chose the American Alligator and Black Bear for this episode is because it is far more likely to happen in the wild, because the Chinese Alligator is virtually extinct in the wild on one hand, and on the other it is far too timid to attack something as big and dangerous as a bear. Come to think of it, so’s the American Alligator. So?

So we come to realism & suspension of disbelief, the storytelling elements that help people believe a story, whether it is AFO, AoS, or anything else. AoS, for example, seemed to have outlasted its’ welcome; certainly the S4 finale was met with very low audience numbers – people just weren’t excited about the titular characters winning against the last villains of the season anymore. Not when there is an entire platter of DC shows to choose from at the same time, for example.

But AoS is fiction, just as the aforementioned ‘Killjoys’, or ‘Marvel’s InHumans’ are. AFO was based on facts, conversely, and… they had their own pitfalls. They did their best to run the show only via facts and data, but they had only a limited amount of it from the start. The format of AFO was largely dependent on various big carnivorous animals – mammals, reptiles and fish – and most of them are physically similar to each other. A bear and a big cat are related to each other only distantly, but physically, they are built similarly, their skeletons have more superficial similarities to each other than the bones of a bear and a walrus do, even though the walrus is closer related to the bear (and the wolf) than a big cat is.

With crocodiles and alligators, of course, the similarities are more than just superficial – the two are twin twigs of the same branch of the tree of life: not only they occupy the same econiche, they can coexist – the Chinese Alligator lives on the same continent as do several species of crocodiles, and South America is home not only to the various caimans, (essentially the local versions of the alligators), but to several species of ‘true’ crocodiles as well. These reptiles can get along, and much better than the big cats of Africa, Asia and the Americas do, in comparison, and – they all have the same hunting & fighting technique, which was actually shown on AFO as part of the episodes’ footage. There are physical differences between crocodiles and alligators, but they are fairly minor, and from a technical P.O.V. – bare bones and the metal replicas built from these bones – they are non-existent.

With bears these similarities are not as extreme, but for the sort of experiments that AFO did with its’ machines, this was enough. Even in RL, all bears behave similarly, the only exceptions are the polar bear, (which is completely carnivorous and lives part of its’ life in the water), and the giant panda, (which is completely herbivorous instead). The brown bear has its’ differences from the black and the moon bears, but AFO does not focus on them, (and they are outside its’ data collecting criteria, anyhow).

This probably brings us to the actual face-off. In theory, just as DW did, AFO used the data that the staff collected via the models to determine the winner, but in reality, this was not so. In the ‘Jaguar vs. Anaconda’ episode, the jaguar lost. In RL, this would not be so; a jaguar has jaws powerful enough to bite through skull bones of peccaries and caimans, so, once it pinned down an anaconda and bit it, it would probably be able to rip the snake in two, if it got especially lucky. And yet it lost on AFO. Why?

Well, why not? On DW, the staff actually showed the various numbers of the various weapons, wins and x-factors; AFO did not even do that. DW actually raised an issue – who was correct, who was more important, the data or the experts/hosts; AFO did not have that. Moreover, while this ensured that there was no controversy surrounding their decision…there still was, at least in the ‘Lion vs. Tiger’ episode, (and so I probably will not be touching it at all). Instead, the viewers got the option to take the AFO’s decisions regarding the face-offs at a face value, (pardon the pun), and while some had accepted it, the others had not – and so the show was not renewed for a second season for this reason as well. AFO’s approach had its virtues, but it had its’ flaws too; not even the season’s/series’ finale ‘Sperm Whale vs. Giant Squid’ could save it…

Well, that is that for this entry; see you all soon!

S.H.I.E.L.D., No Regrets - April 18

…So, here is the catch – I really should be discussing this week’s episode of AoS, ‘No Regrets’, but… I do not truly care about it: AoS is back doing the mainstream; it got over the departure of Luke (Lincoln), and there is little to no SkyeWard, which is fine – ever since the S2 finale I’m suspecting that regardless of what makes their characters tick, Brett and Chloe themselves don’t get along… but that’s conspiracy theories, let’s not get into them too blatantly.

What next? I have been watching bits and pieces of a new documentary TV series, about the ‘untamed’ North America. In this week’s episode, they showed an alligator skull – of an alligator that was killed by a crocodile. Hence, let us raise an AFO-style question: which of the two is deadliest?

First, about the contestants. The alligator is the American alligator, not the Chinese one, Alligator mississippiensis. Second, the crocodile is the so-called ‘American crocodile’, or Crocodylus acutus. Unlike the alligator, is has a proportionally longer, thinner, V-shaped snout while the alligator’s snout is proportionally shorter and broader and is rather in the shape of an U.

This situation is complexed further by the presence of the so-called spectacled caiman, Caiman crocodilus, which is an introduced species in the U.S. Normally, it lived south of Mexico, in the American tropics, but not unlike other big reptiles – the monitor lizards, various constrictor snakes – it ended up in the state of Florida as well… but it isn’t as hardy as the crocodile and the alligator are. It also smaller – about 1 or 2 m long, while both the crocodile and the alligator can reach 4 to 5 m in length, twice as long as the caiman…or a human.

Next, about their hunting techniques. All of the crocodiles, alligator and caimans are ambush predators, attacking from, well, ambush. Or cover, if you prefer, overpowering their prey quickly, often through some massive body damage. Like most other carnivores, (birds, beasts, reptiles, etc.), they prefer to attack animals smaller than they are; all of those effective shots of (Nile) crocodiles attacking antelopes and zebras in Africa involve mature reptiles; younger crocodiles are nowhere as bold and probably stay far away from such spots, for otherwise the adult crocodiles may attack them instead of gazelles and co. The same goes for alligators and caimans, (which are closer relatives to each other than to the ‘true’ crocodiles); save that, in general, they are smaller and weaker than the ‘true’ crocodiles are (especially the Nile and the saltwater crocodiles).

So. Can an American crocodile ambush and kill an American alligator if it can ambush it successfully? Yes, with ‘ambush’ and ‘successfully’ being the key words here, plus the crocodile is older and bigger than the alligator is (or vice versa in a reversed situation). Otherwise the table can get turned – it’s easy to point out how crocodiles are more powerful and dangerous than their cousins are, (especially if the crocodiles in question are the Nile and the saltwater crocodiles, the monsters of the modern world), but the American crocodile isn’t really much bigger or stronger than the American alligator is, and in North America it is the alligator that got the territorial advantage: just like the caimans, the crocodiles live better in the tropics, (i.e. Central and South America). The alligator skull featured on the show may have been work of an American crocodile, but somehow it just looked too clean and too white to be natural…but that is conspiracy theory.

Speaking of conspiracy theories, this is probably the perfect entry to return to the topic of AoS, but there is nothing to say. Ward fans and Ward haters still are going to each other, and while the show writers tried to minimize the controversy by minimizing the interactions between Grant/Brett and Daisy/Chloe on screen, it does not really work. Plus, now people are getting huffy about Fitz’s fall into the darkness, and if he’ll get the chance of redemption, (and he’ll take it, no doubt), there will be some Grant fans who will cry ‘foul’ at this and rightfully so.

But! The people at AoS knew this, they realized and understood this, when they brought Grant back, via framework or whatever, and instead of bringing back…no, not Lincoln, this would have probably had its’ own issues, but a completely neutral third party, or even Robbie Reyes, (seriously, this could have been interesting), in such a role. But no, instead they got Grant back, and, while I enjoyed watching the framework episodes, it is noticeable that Grant’s conversion from bad to good here was kind of jarring; it’s likely that he was supposed to be a framework villain as well, but Brett, (and his agent?), said, “no, just no”, and because Mitchell’s, (and Reyes’?) departure gave AoS a disadvantage they had to comply. So now they are trying to downplay Grant, period, (he mostly interacts with Simmons lately), because they do not really want him as a hero, but cannot do him as a villain either. It is unlikely that Grant will be around for more than another couple of episodes, and certainly not for the season’s finale, so in the end his presence will do the show more harm than good. However, this is not Brett Dalton’s fault either, so that is that…

Moreover, that is for this week’s episode of AoS, ‘No Regrets’. Stay tuned for the next week!